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Friday, October 21, 2011

Stuck in a Moment....

The U2 song goes something like this;
You've got to get yourself together
You've got stuck in a moment and you can't get out of
Don't say that later will be better
Now you're stuck in a moment and you can't get out of it

I have been sad, stuck in the memory of the day my mother had her stroke, of the day she went into a coma and had emergency surgery. I am stuck in the night she went code blue and all the days running into each other at the hospital. I am stuck in the moments of crying heavily or shouting back at my father. I am stuck in the memory of being misunderstood or judged by my siblings. Truly I AM stuck in all of last summer......yet this is fall now so when should I have healed? Maybe there is no guarantee time to be healed or present. I am going to have to get myself together changing my sad story to one of hope, I am by nature a very hopeful person. Yet I feel like a sad fairy, like a truly changed person. Once did I fly, but now I sigh. Once I believed in happy endings, now I see a reality. Once I belonged, now I am looking for my place again....Maybe I am not as stuck as I feel, maybe I'm meant to take time in processing this more.....? I take comfort in U2's song as it reminds me of who I was, and where I am now.

It's just a moment, this time will pass

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