It was such a rainy fall day, last night I took my husband out downtown. We are not big into the party life at night, we don't even eat out as much as we use to. I walked arm in arm with him in the chill of the changing seasons. We found a bar stool and drank our cocktails watching the city lights come on as it grew dark. Last night was perfect to just sit and warm up before heading home. We discussed what we would do if we were ever attacked like a friend of ours had been recently. We discussed how guns may or may not keep us safe. I also thought about how lovely this bar was "Pengilly's Saloon" quiet and cozy. Even though we can't solve the world's problems from a bar stool, it is nice to relax all the same. Since I have felt like my world went upside down over this summer with my mother's stroke, I haven't just sat to relax or think over things with a cocktail in a long while...(In fact that first month of days with my family and mother I only had one beer because I knew getting drunk wouldn't help me deal better with all those scary, stressful, sad hours.) Now as I watched through the big clear window of the downtown bar at all the people strolling by in sweaters and umbrellas I thought how my life is just a bit stronger then it use to be! I am forever changed and I feel at peace with this change. Sadness isn't an emotion to be ashamed of, anger isn't an emotion to ignore but no matter what I feel.....I am proud to be here in this moment no matter what it throws at me.
The bartender asked us what plans do we have as we were about to leave, and I smiled big saying "We are just going home now to stay cozy in from all this rain." My husband laughed as we walked back to our car "No matter where we go...everyone asks us what else are we doing for the night when being THERE actually IS our outing....and we wonder why people are stressed out on the go all the time." I hope to have many more cold evenings relaxing at Pengilly's this year for life is short and I like going out to just ONE place:-)