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Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Moving Weekend

In my new place, these gardens already grow and welcome us to our new home! Here we go....moving is often refreshing to clean deeply and organize everything but it's also nice to just drink coffee on the patio every morning without a box in sight! hahaha May the adventures begin in our new walls and windows!

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Fearless Friends

When change comes like the sun rise, when the routines of others adapt, when the soul opens up to the moving unfolding weather and we begin to list the things we take with us or leave behind.......
While our fearless friends, our dogs will teach us to live in the time of right now.
For when we stop to hold or love on our pets, we are reminded that there is no hurry to move, to live, to be.
Their fearless happiness give us the joy in whatever comes along! 
On this morning I adore them, cuddling and napping around my feet. It is very sweet to have the companionship of my dogs as I pack up our home slowly. We will be moving next door by the weekend, I smiled and chuckle as one dog snores!
They are not worried, they are not stressed. They are happy to rest before we play in this afternoon's sunshine or go for a walk. They are a pack, a family living happily for only this moment! I am inspired by them!
For when change comes, as it always does, these dogs will face it only when the moment arrives, for they are fearless and free!

Sunday, June 24, 2012

Those Hollywood Nights

She stood there bright as the sun on that California coast when I shouted out to her "Hey Joanie wanna coke?" I had bought 2 cans of soda just in case after filling the car up with gas. Her shadow against the hot June sun light had her standing there over looking the valley below towards the ocean. With her hand over her face to block the sun's brightness I smiled happily to myself looking around as I stretch my legs, then I saw her standing out over the hills below, she stood there bright as the sun indeed this was my best friend Joanie. We had left Portland Oregon in the pouring rain only to be now noticing the Hollywood Hills ahead. "SO this is California!" I exclaimed stretching out next to Joanie handing her a soda can. "It's Cherry." I commented as Joanie rolled her eyes at me "Of course it is....did you get water bottles too?" she ask still guarding her eyes from the sun light with her hand. "YUP." I headed back to the car with the keys in hand, I had been driving since 4am and loving the sights and sound of the sun rise the soft music playing from the radio and even Joanie's slight snoring now and again. THIS is the life, the traveling life I love so much! Seeing everything for the first time and feeling so alive with the awe of it! Joanie and I laughed late into that late night's drive over the silliest things, our inside jokes and funny stories. We often hurt from such deep long laughter that one of us would usually say "Time out! I need to breath!" then our laughter would start all over again! THIS was true friendship to me, she was more like a sister back in those years (for my part she was) "Oh gross! I'm so stinky! Do you have any deodorant in your purse?" Joanie asked me once we were back on the straight highway in the car I drove steadily not even looking at her when I replied "Always." Not only did I always have a first aid kit, I had 3 different types of chap stick, deodorant and a pack of chewing gum, breath mints, dental floss, band-aids, and a mini flash light in my purse at all times. I kept a good supply of feminine protection tucked away as well since I was organized at ALL times! "What would I do without you? I really need ya to stay with me here in California...How else will I keep track of it all? YOU could be my journal writer helping me remember this time in my life!" Joanie joked and I nodded with a proud smile. I had been helping her remember over her life for a few years by now, it amazed me that even with some of the most current events in her day to day life she couldn't remember. So I would remind her each time like it was the first time she ever forgot and she would laugh happily at how I would help her. Sometimes I wasn't even with her but remembered where she said she was going when next we met up. I drove her to California worried over her forgetting classes or getting lost. I was true "Mother Hen" kind of friend, (yes a bit smothering I am sure too!) We arrived at her apartments and I unpacked her things and set her all up in her beautiful bedroom. The other girlie roommates found me to an odd ball right from the start.... because I was doing all the kind of things their mothers were doing, in fact I made friends with all the moms easily enough. I remember how I  rush out of Joanie's bedroom to greet all the new girls! I was truly excited to shake their hands and visit with their parents. I was gushing and laughing in all my introductions, I didn't realize for a good while as I chatted away with these strangers that these young girls were all glaring at me. I was being a bit to forward, my arms out for greetings, hugs and laughter even my smile stayed strong as I caught the embarrassed look Joanie shot me. I knew, I knew what it meant my time was over for now. 
It was hard to watch my best friend trying to fit in, recreating herself among these new people. She explained it to me that night as we were soaking in the hot tub "Debby, I know you won't understand this at all but no one knows me here....I can BE anyone I want! And I don't want you to say anything personal about me. Just stop acting like we are friends maybe you sit out for a while and let me get to know these girls, they defiantly do NOT like you" She had surprised me with this conversation and I scrambled out of the hot water fast realizing I was going to cry but I was determined to just take a walk in pretending like I was "cool". It was good for me to think all about what she was saying, how honest she was with me then I slowly realized we were very different people and I needed to just get home soon and let her be.
Later on that night the group of girls all piled into a mini-van to go look over Hollywood and the night life, So as I joined them I took Joanie's advice bravely, Not talking about Joanie anymore, not being so out going either. I sat in the far corner of the van wishing to not be there anymore for these girls were all going to be living together, studying together for all that summer. They were all trying to impress each other then they invited a guy to ride along. Suddenly I sat back to watch as these girls begin to really "show Off" or flirt. Then this guy seemed to like touching as many girls as he could as well. BUT when he tried to touch me, my elbow block him in one casual swing towards his face. I didn't blink as I shot him a glare, I was really sick of all these kind of games and I was just ready to leave Hollywood all together, people acted so fake all around me. When he looked surprised back at me acting all hurt by my elbow block so he couldn't touch me, Joanie explained quickly "Ooooh Debby isn't staying with us much longer.....besides she is practically married to her boyfriend." the guy's hands went up in the air as he said "No offense then." I quickly looked out the window of the moving van at that HollyWood sign in the foothills deeply grateful to know exactly who I am as a person!
Oooooh those Hollywood Hills.....

Friday, June 22, 2012

The Corsets of many colors

Since I was thinking about being "Tucked In" how safe I feel and like to be crowded in. I realize it applies to my passion for corsets! How interesting that I love collecting corsets of many colors and styles. I would wear them everyday to enjoy that tucked in feeling of comfort and safety. I have always loved women's underwear all the traditions and all the lace! As a kid I got to dress up in old fashion dresses with my first experience of a corset and I felt so at ease, at home and comforted by wearing it! I loved being in wedding ceremonies when corsets help the dresses sit perfectly through out those magical days of LOVE. I am kinda funny in this way, I truly like to be "Tucked in" even by my underwear! It is a fun hobby to keep an eye out for those amazing corsets! I can carry along that wonderful feeling with me each time I wear one! (Not to mention getting to look classy at the very same time!) Maybe in my past life I had a huge closet FULL of corsets and now I am just working my way back to that again?

Thursday, June 21, 2012

Tucked IN

         Whenever I a airplane (NOT when I fly around in my backyard) I get super nervous! Not that the plane will crash I understand that isn't within my control but I get nervous over what if I don't get my seat? That perfect, safe, amazing MIDDLE seat?!? 
I was 15 years old the first plane I rode in, I like the window seat to see out of it until I was truly dizzy then I closed my window shade fast realizing I don't need to look straight across at those birds flying along side. Then my second flight was when I was 17 years old meeting friends in Disneyland once again I sat out in the aisle so I could be the very first person off! I kept getting bumped by people's bags sitting out there. When my father-in-law remarried I sat in the middle seat between both my brother-in-law and my husband, I felt safe for the first time in an airplane!
The Middle seat it is then! I love that certain spot in a common row of three seats, I feel relaxed instantly sitting there that even if all other seats are still open I sit alone in the middle seat! (this is how I often look going to Portland hahahahahahaha me and my middle seat alone)  
This past April when flying to Florida and back, I noticed the middle seats were always left wide open! How odd and how lucky was I the whole time?!? These middle seats on an airplane might be "under valued" but how could it be? When they will keep you tucked in safely and you will be comforted in that perfect setup? (perhaps for me having always liked sitting in cozy corners, or squeezing in the backseats with friends growing up, I loved that "Tucked In" feeling when also on the move......?
The view from the middle seat is another seat anyway you look! All around you like in a box with a person on either side or in front. I like seeing people verse the clouds when we are up so high!
NOPE don't want to look out the window and get dizzy again. NOPE don't want to stick out the side as bags hit my head. I have always liked being tucked into places, being held tight by seat belts and other people around me my whole life! SO as I flew to Florida I realized that most importantly I STILL love that kind of safety, the tucked in feeling! I am even smaller now after changing my diet, loosing weight so the middle seat is truly a perfect fit! AND I am perfectly happy in flying as long as I am in the middle the whole way around!

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Double D's

      When I was born my parents didn't have a girl's name picked out so my father convinced my mother that simply being name "Debby" was lovely. My mother wasn't sure for awhile, she prayed for a boy everyday those 9 months even called me Derek until I pop out to explain I do protest as a girl! And really I broke all the rules for the rest of her life as she was so sure in the ways of God. I think it has been fun to be name after my mother! I wouldn't have said this 20 years ago but now I think to myself it's quite cute!
When I was a little girl visiting my big extended family in St. Maries Idaho, my loud, exciting. self assured Aunt Veta came to my rescue one day! I remember how she spoke, how she moved in to say her "2 cents" every time no matter when all her adult siblings rolled their eyes at her. She wasn't intimated, she wasn't easily hurt when she knew something it was said and explained right away. I loved this about her! As a child I watched her in awe of this life force, of this spit fire spirit she carried within her. While my own mother was usually very silent, very easily annoyed by all of her husband's family members. She would sit giving me that mothering "look", a warning of how I shouldn't adore my Aunt Veta like I clearly did!
Aunt Veta was the mother of my only 2 friends in the world cousins Trina and CallyAnn. How happy I was to be with these 3 people all at once, how I loved them and liked getting away from my own parents to learn new things from these fun ladies. It wasn't always perfect and I am not saying they were all angels or fairies but they were my own family who saw me so young, so full of questions and conversations.....I was truly starving for love. They ALL knew this, they gave me such comfort and love that helped me grow up to be who I am today!
All of my aunts would share with me now how they saw me so little and so wide eyed trusting yet controlled by parents to display perfection. I was just another D in the family to follow in line like the family of ducks in the park. While visiting my extended family I became my own person, not the other Debby in the family anymore;
Grandma Eva called out from the dinning room "Debby!" as she sat playing card games with more family members I came running from my hallway of playing with all the toys, at the very same time my mother popped out from doing the dishes in the kitchen. "YES?" Mom and I asked at the same time, the dinning room full or people laughed at us. Grandma explained she needed my mom and not me this happened all the time but when I would assume they were looking for my mother I would get in trouble for not coming when I was called, it was so confusing! Aunt Veta announced loud and clear "It's time Debby had her OWN name....She will be called "Little Dee" and then you can be your own person." Aunt Veta winked at me as I left the room feeling very proud to have a nickname. 
It was one of those memories I may share over and over again because I finally felt like I belonged in the family.
Last fall when I heard my nickname all the time, I was felt with that same feeling of belonging. The Aunts and cousins all had a retreat/reunion I was truly happy to be there, to see us all grown up and wiser. Most importantly to see us all loved as the beautiful women we are! Along side our memories with our nicknames, terms of endearment and confident smiles there is a good family connection that looking back over all the years I am proud to have been a double D!

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

The Blue D

It caught my eye and pop out at me suddenly, surprisingly I reach to touch it and it was real. The blue D was the first thing I saw at that moment. It just popped right out in front of me, making me feel instantly happy! I smiled to myself for a really long time, looking forward to touching it again and again. 

"Happy Birthday Debby!" the room full of people sang to me as I stared at birthday cake with huge red strawberries frosted on top. Then I got to unwrap my gifts, I couldn't stop starring at it the big blue D stitched into a rainbow flower print purse! We were at my Grandma's house in St.Maries Idaho for I was just turning 3 years old and I remember this day so well! I really wish I still had that purse, I could describe it perfectly as it remains in my memory though. Blue is one of those colors that makes me smile up at the sky! So on my 3rd birthday celebration the blue D popped out at me, made me smile with joy! People may think I am kinda weird to remember so young in life, I have dug down deep within my mind's eye to always remember as much as possible for while these events were unfolding I said to myself it was important to not forget...YET Once again I wonder if this is a gift or a curse?

The blue D brings me back and moves me forward all at the very same time! I wonder to myself how do such things appear so magically that it can trigger us to smile, to feel, to remember or to belong? I loved that birthday, loved that soft rainbow purse of my earliest memories, and how it stood out so bright and blue! While my smile shined true!

Saturday, June 16, 2012

The PRIDE protest

I was moving swiftly through the rush of customers in Starbucks downtown Boise, I flipped my keys around, lifted heavy boxes of supplies and rotated the coffee machine. I called out names for breaks and took their spot as we zipped through the usual Saturday morning crowd. This was one of those perfect job for me to stay busy, while also creatively being myself in goofiness! I realize the morning rush for coffee was busier then usual with more people dressed up in rainbows and laughter as they order beverages. I loved working in this location feeling a sense of community, knowing all my regular every day customers and seeing events unfold in the city. This morning I happened to wait on some old friends from my past life time, from my old church. It was odd to see them suddenly in front of me, I was cheerfully out going as they were not sure how to order. I smiled to myself for where I come from there isn't a Starbucks close by, I usually tried not to mention my days in church since it really felt like old history, truly since my life become full of rainbows and butterflies, none of which was going to hell. The plus side to my argument against organized religion, without the fear of hell or misunderstanding on what is sin then you become a very free happy person. I was surprised at how truly relaxed and casual I felt in myself while visiting with these straight faced old kinda friends, "How are you guys!? Wow! It's been years! You are looking good too!" I gusted and glided around my register in front of them. "So what brings y'all into Boise?" I asked writing down the sides of the cups, They leaned into my counter more to reply "WE came to fight against darkness and SIN....for w held a prayer protest and visual against the...the GAYS!" I froze in action and stared at them in true shock. "Don't flip out Debby." Was what I felt inside my head, suddenly I knew why I hadn't seen these people in years, I remembered with shame that I use to pray for the gays before I even understood what that was.....I suddenly felt my smile stiffen and my back straighten as I replied extremely happily "Oh WOW! Now it all makes sense! My drag queen friends just stopped in for coffee and I was like wonder what they are all doing here! So there is a gay rally then? I bet it was BEAUTIFUL!" They snapped and hissed in the same ways my mother did on this topic. I was now looking past them as they freaked out on me. "It's so sad what our state has become! Since when do we let such people into our towns and homes, God is truly ashamed and mark my words he will punish them! It's only going to get worse if we don't come together in prayer and share Christ's salvation!" I stopped listening after what felt like forever it was all so familiar, they were fired up in preaching at me, I felt sad and mad all at the same time reminding me of where I came from and how I know without a shadow of a doubt I will never ever go back. I interrupted them with a cheerful reply of how I completely disagree. "It's been odd to see you guys, glad y'all look well but I must change the subject in that I disagree, for I live my life with only love now.....enjoy those drinks!" I zip out of sight to hide in my office and cool down. It's easy for me to think of "going to war" in honor of my LGBT Friends, getting mad at people who hate is like trying to drown your own self when you know how to swim just fine. I loved the pride parade today and all the beautiful happy peoples! People may protest, may bully or preach......but I have learned to just live my life with rainbows EVERYDAY!

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Pet Photo Shoot

How fast time has flown, How quickly a year can change everything......last year on July 15th I happily captured my 3 pets in this Photo Shoot.
(How sad to look back and realize that 3 days later my mother's stroke paused our lives and they went to live with my in-laws for almost a month.) It's good that time doesn't stand still, it's good to see summer arriving and feel stronger in the sun's good to have my pets along side it all!
This is Minnie!
We added Minnie Mouse to our family just before Christmas, she is as gentle of a dog as I have ever seen, grateful for any kind of hug or attention! She makes us laugh as she isn't always sure of herself. 
This is the cat; Tinker Belle (really known as the QUEEN hahaha) 
And Sydney or more commonly named Sidda, the tiny fluffy love bug and pillow cuddling girl!
Oscar doesn't need introductions, he makes sure to "speak" for himself always!
Now is a Fish a pet also? Tobias the blue betta, named after the sitcom "Arrested Development" came to us after his previous owner said he was living way to long for a fish hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Monday, June 11, 2012

My Night Terrors

          I was a teenager when I experienced my first night terror, Up till then my bad dreams were more like a movie screen rolling out in front of me on film in my head. Like big scary dreams when I remember my little brother Derek drowning in the canal on my Grandpa's orchard farm as I was so afraid to learn how to swim or when my father's brown pick-up was flying down the hill without him in it and I didn't know how to drive. I had bad dreams of my mother dying all the time also when I was a kid. I dream now more often of saving animals, BUT it is my night terrors that my husband will tell you scares him the most.......Although it's been a couple of years now since I had one, he still remembers being scared awake from my screaming. Now I don't think night terrors will ever bother me again and this why;
"Hey, what'up Shive!" My manager Wendi high five me in the 5am morning as we made our way to the coffee shop. I wasn't clearly awake or even focused as I missed her hand with my own. "Whoa! still sleeping?" Wendi asked in chuckle and I nodded in frustration. I knew that usually I was a morning person alive with energy and conversations, smiling and moving smoothly to setup the coffee. I mumbled now trying to wake up my own coffee cup wasn't helping as I explained back "I had a really rough night again, I suffer from these night terrors...saw an episode on Oprah about it and that is what I have!" Wendi unlocked the gate to our shop and looked at me in this understanding real way,she was not distracted and not annoyed. My husband warned not everyone wants to know about my freakishness, it could cause them to judge me or think I am truly odd if I talk like it was normal to have night terrors. BUT I explained back to him that if I don't share this issue about me screaming in the middle of the night at the same hour almost every time, then the unknown of it all will eat away at me and I will wonder if I am actually crazy when I know I am not.
"Night terrors Shively? tell me the details what happen last night?" Wendi asked as we worked side by side I sighed with a few tears in my eyes, I had been searching for peace over these terrors almost a decade poor Husband and dog slept next to me every night worried as they drifted off to sleep that soon I will be screaming. It was getting so bad that I would warn people, especially family, if I slept over at their house I could have a night terror.
I cleared my throat explaining "Last night was the biggest group of people I have ever seen at the edge of my bed, shadows of these people in all shapes and sizes were leaning into me as I slept. I can never see their face but they look so REAL! When my eyes flutter open I see my bedroom around 3am in the gray, dark way of real time but then usually there is a person standing right in front of me moving faster then is normal towards me, usually it just one person a guy in blue jean or an old lady reminding me kinda of my Grandma....I dunno but I never see their faces or hear anything. It's so startling that I scream usually once I realize they are there, then I look again the shadows are gone and my poor family is wide awake then I sob, every time I cry so hard knowing it was just a dream BUT my eyes are really open at the time and see the real bedroom in real's so confusing!....Maybe I am going to crazy!" I sighed helplessly with an awkward chuckle at how silly it is for me to make such a big deal over what Oprah said is very common in high stress people. Wendi smiled with a calm nod and said something that has stayed with me ever since. "Why don't you ask them next time, what do you want from me? because chances are they see you in your real open honest way, not distracted not busy only they might not mean to make you scream like that so once you scream they hide away. Don't let anyone tell you that it isn't real, it is real for YOU, what you see no one can tell you how to interrupt it. What needs to be figured out now is why do they visit you? Is it a warning or a guidance that you are chosen to see them? Once you loose the fear, once you don't scream at the sight of their surprise shadows then you may discover these are not terrors at all....." I loved my friend Wendi in talking about these things so kindly and open. In her way of explaining it I was not cursed, not crazy or weird. These night terrors came to me on the days I was exhausted, both emotionally and physically. This was when I saw the shadows and felt the presence of eyes watching me as I opened my own wondering in my sleepiness "Who is that? Is someone here in our bedroom?...." Then the realization that yes someone is! Always made me scream out and try to protect my family while I swung my arms and kick my legs at the shadows so real looking then instantly gone make me feel so silly and sad. Now after listening to Wendi as she explained that she doesn't claim to know the spiritual world, there are some things that we can't ever explain nor try to logically make sense of it all at least not at once.....but she does believe certain things happen for a reason, that some souls can see into other worlds. But maybe all I had to do was just ask then I might find out why I am visited by shadows in the night. That line of people in and around my bed were familiar and terrifying all at the same time, it was the biggest group that had ever visited me! I look back in remembering them while asking "What do you want from me? What can I do to help?" It's in my heart to make peace, to do what is right for the unknown worlds around us. Suddenly I am not afraid of these figures when they appear and they don't move fast at me anymore.
Last summer when my mother's stroke happened one extremely late night I saw a shadow of a person looking like my Grandma just before I fell a sleep in such stress and worry, this shadow looked like my mother's I didn't scream or hide away, I just whispered to my bedroom wall where I saw this shadow so real like I could reach out and touch her in the darkness, I just whispered "Keep her matter what, please keep her safe" the figure didn't loom over me or stay long and I haven't had a vision, or a night terror since.

Saturday, June 9, 2012

These Boots were made for.....

Now I know I can talk on and on forever about gardening, watering and diggin' in the dirt....I was doing this for awhile often changing my shoes once they got wet from flooding the backyard when my neighbor Bernice gave me true irrigation boots! I felt right proud of them! How easy to keep my feet dry and protected now.....although I clearly walk like a bull legged cowboy trying to keep my balance and not rub my ankles raw. Walking in my new boots made me crave some country music through out yesterday while irrigating! It was TRULY a perfect day to be outside while I could pull weeds, trim dead branches and rack out the dirt in those awesome big boots! I even tried dancing in them a few times only to realize I was STILL bull legged! (To this my dogs all cocked their heads to the side as if to say "What are you trying to do there?" and I had to chuckle)
The most awesome thing was of course walking through the lake in my back yard without freezing my toes off like before!

Friday, June 8, 2012

Zoo Boise

My life is full of wonderful things, beautiful people and many good laughs! I got to look after a friend's kid for a few days just last week, and we had a blast! Starting out at 9am right when the gates opened at the zoo! It was like being a VIP! We ran all over the place with no one else around then by 11am it was so crowded we were annoyed by all the noise. The kid Joshua I was caring for was the funniest boy when he said "People are so in our way....we were here first ya know." I chuckled yes I did know and was glad to head to McDonald's at noon. When Joshua told my neighbor Bernice that is it up to his M. O. M. we both just looked at him unsure of what he was saying then I die laughing at his gangster ways of talking, Bernice was giggling too, while her and Josh became friends instantly. THIS kid was 6 going on 16, I always enjoy and chill around kids much like my pets they are just living in the moment of NOW. I truly enjoyed a refreshing time, this happy fun world of magical things we could do as the kids we both are!

Joshua stated over ice water from our walk back after swinging "I don't get in trouble here like I do at home." I nodded understanding completely what he meant as I replied "Well my list of do's and don'ts are very simple. Don't hurt the dogs, don't say mean things, and most importantly don't hurt yourself....then we are GOOD. It's easy to be good, people don't realize this very often." He smiled big and nodded to my list saying he liked those rules too! and I laughed again, I pretty much laughed through our whole time together!

Thursday, June 7, 2012

Garden to Garden

 Okay so it has been odd gardening across the very same fence of my old garden over the last month or so.....At first I found myself looking oddly at my old garden through the fence, thinking to myself with a chuckle "this is such a funny story! THIS IS MY LIFE!" gardening is beautiful, refreshing and balancing me in what I can not control to what I can. Now my neighborly guys still live in my soon-to-be home so gardening around trying to not crowding them out in my usual overly friendly ways has been helping me adjust to soon this will be my new place. I LOVE IT! I REALLY DO! Now my husband Tony finally told me to stop trying to invite all the neighbors over for BBQ all the time, (I am like the Butters character on South Park asking his friends to hang out all the time I know, I know, I know) and He explained it best while saying "No one likes to commit to dinner, a cocktail maybe but not a full's just the way everyone is.......everyone, well expect YOU!" I sighed realizing he must be right but I DO love cooking for people, seeing good eats on the plate along with good laughs while making new friends! That is how I see life, perfectly set-up just like THAT! In my new place I will have more room to cook it up and share even more! but I will try not to bug my neighbors so much too. (they will be my old landlords how awesome is that???)
My new gardens are so much fun and I run between 3 yards right now on irrigation day (My favorite day of the week truly) It's wonderful to keep things alive through flooding and splashing in the water! Right now my gardens need a few more things planted and there's only one chicken to talk with. My boxes are getting organized, things are getting cleaned and time is moving ever so fast towards a new month in a new place! ......yet it's on the very same street! (again I chuckle hahahahahahaha)

Garden to Garden I follow the earth, I follow the fence, I follow the trees, Garden to Garden and heart to heart I see the beauty that is already there. I see the animals all share. Garden to Garden in adding a fairy's touch for it will all bloom ever so much!

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Moving on up!

               The time has come for me to share how we will be moving out of this this cottage, It's going to be a great new adventure! Renting this place a year ago was like a dream come true and I finally felt home for the very first time my whole life. I can still remember how the fire pit glowed all around me on the fourth of July our very first night and I ran through the whole backyard naked at the stroke mid-night to the chuckles of my husband Tony as I felt like I was flying free in all that open fresh air! How my dogs ran circles off the leash, How my Oscar sat in the far back of the yard watching everything still and poised for hours in the hot summer afternoons. Him and Sidda were thrilled over the first water flooding in the backyard that they ran frenzy through those inches of water! I will remember Always my dancing on the patio that helped me heal from the sudden stress I went under over my mother's stroke that happened a couple of weeks just after we had moved in. I will remember this cottage and huge backyard in all the ways that are truly BEAUTIFUL!
Like when I was trying to save those chickens in my front yard from stray dogs, or how my own Oscar almost ate our soon-to-be landlord Alex's favorite white chicken! (How surprised I was that a dog of mine would ever try to do such a thing!) I will always laugh fully in recalling when I got to take care of  those same chickens for a week in January only to have them follow me in a such sudden manner that was truly surprising! I would say out loud to them "Okay Ladies now you are freaking me out! Go on now......" But they knew I loved them, they knew I would feed them. It's easier for me to be befriend animals then people, to trust animals and pets instantly while wondering how to do the same for people...I still try to connect to people but I relax instantly in a conversation with a chicken far faster. (I see them, and they see me)
My neighbor Bernice has filled me in over the history of the neighborhood, her lovely garden next door gave me such a sense of peace when I laid down next to it to look up at the stars, I would look up in hope or in tears of such horrible summer but at least I had my home, my safe place to hide away during it all! When I told my husband Tony we had to move I had tried not to tell him right away as it was his birthday, although I burst into tears when he said my garden seeds were coming along....."Oh noooo my garden!" my thought hit me and I burst into tears now having to explain it all to ol' Tone as I reached for that new bottle of gin! 
When sharing with my neighbors that we were moving out, (Our landlords have to move back in) the hardest part was realizing I was leaving my dearest friend Bernice but knowing I would still come to check in on her as often as possible. Then the offer to move next door from our other neighbor Alex surprised me completely and thrilled Tony instantly, made Bernice laugh, jump up and hug me while saying in her adorable way "How wonderful that will all be!"  
Now I step back looking at my life in a new sense of awe, we are actually moving on up in the world with a bigger place on the very same street! I will get to have my own chickens, get to garden away under those same spiritual trees above my head! 
I looked at them yesterday morning in the wind storm, those big beautiful protecting trees and said "I already know you! I was MEANT to be here once again I feel it and believe it...right here, right now. It's just me as I should be, looking up at your beauty!" Then the trees nodded a moment down in the wind as I smiled back up at them thinking over all the funny stories in living my life! THIS is one of them moving in  next door....Loving my neighbors, growing a garden and feeling the sky all around me! One day soon I will climb up in those trees hanging over me and sit a while longer in their world, in our world.

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

ALL dogs go to Heaven.

It's a rather ridiculous topic to me this question of "Do dogs get into heaven with us?" And maybe it is ridiculous to me because I asked that question when I was only 9 years old falling in love with my Uncle's dogs....I found the answer young in my life to know now simply.......why yes, OF COURSE they do! (Why couldn't anyone have answered me like that without hesitation or second guessing I was just a kid who never got a straight answer or it was rather dark to hear unless dogs can ask Jesus in their hearts then NOPE...
WHO could EVER say that to a KID???? 
Although people said it me and I was a kid back then.....SAD!
I can honestly say that I know in my heaven awaits every creature full of love and friendship, it's magical heaven after all,so why not!?!?
ALL dogs go to Heaven or create a sense of heaven with you.
I guess some people would disagree with me but then again WHY would you want to argue against who can come into Heaven????
See! completely ridiculous topic and question! Although most children ask this question in hopes to hear that yes their childhood best friend and loyal canine will great them at those pearly gates!
Then give that questioning child the gift of hope and of loving comfort by just simply saying "YES! For every creature will follow you my dear, where ever you shall go!"

I picture Jesus greeting me into Heaven like a Wal-mart employee; "Welcome Debby RenA I mean Renee'.....We have donuts and coffee over here oh wait you don't eat donuts much any more huh?" I stare in shock at him (well because IT'S JESUS...Geeeeezus!)
"Debby? Are you okay? You just died and this is.." He looks around to make sure for himself "...Heaven....You do know who I am right?" I stare in shock more and swallow hard. Jesus sighs like this happens way to much for him in working these hours of eternity. "Like I said you would enjoy a cup of coffee no doubt....." Jesus hands me a cup then walks and talks like a glowing star in the dark sky, explaining how all of heaven has to offer me in my stay, but I find my voice small like a little girl again "Are all of my dogs here? Did they get into heaven???" How odd to sound hopefully shaky to myself which surprises both Jesus and me. Then sadly a big huge bible appears as Jesus reads for proof of what to say next "Nope sorry Debster...or do you prefer Little Dee? but looks like dogs can't come here....who really wants to step into doggie poo in Heaven anyways?" I freeze in sudden awareness now, it's just like they had said back on earth and I refused to believe it! So I kindly set my coffee cup down, give Jesus a respectful nod of thanks for the info and then bolt for the gap in those gates explaining as I slide on through "Well then this place is NOT for me!!!! I'll take the job as a guardian angel to a nearby dog park, thank you and goodbye!" Jesus shrugs and moves on while I sigh in peace hoovering around my cute little furry puppies! I picture this with a proud smile.....

Sunday, June 3, 2012

Lavender Honey Ice Cream

It is one of my most favorite almost every evening desserts! Home made ice cream! I have a red Cuisinart ice cream maker so the possibilities are endless!
Happy good times can be found growing in the most magical places such as a Lavender bush Sooooooo It sounds wonderful ANYTHING with lavender! So my next project with be to get that lavender honey from the farmer's market (it never stays around long) and make this recipe;
  • 2 cups heavy cream
  • 1 cup half-and-half
  • 2/3 cup mild honey
  • 2 tablespoons dried edible lavender flowers*
  • 2 large eggs
  • 1/8 teaspoon salt


Saturday, June 2, 2012

My song for this Summer.....

Another year has brought me back to JUNE....Thank god for I have made it!
This is my favorite month in the over all year and Looking back over these 12 months, only a year ago it had been such a beautiful changing month (before July's horrid drama took me down.) I think it's only fitting to honor this month with this song as I sing my heart out loud and strong while dancing to capture these JOYFUL JUNE days..... 
To the earth I give my energy,
To the river I give my worries,
To the sunshine I give my biggest smile,
To the wind I give my arms,
To the dirt I give my feet,
To the sky I give such a deep sigh for here we are again....