Search This Blog

Saturday, December 31, 2016

A New year!

Every year for New year's eve I love watching "When Harry met Sally." because it's adorable and has really GREAT New year's eve parties in the classic movie. The dialogue between Harry and Sally reminds me of my own husband, back when we were dating we had almost exact conversations as the movie captures and shares.

Maybe the fact Sally is always optimistic, and she is always organized which endears her to me so much, while my husband Tony uses humor and honesty to bring about real topics like Harry.   

New year's eve always reminds me just how fast one whole year can fly by!

While drinking mulled wine in my cozy warm blankets and cuddling lazy pets, while laughing and talking to my husband I feel grateful for our friendship and adventures year to year.

I still like that for our wedding announcement we made the very same poster picture, this movie focuses on the growing friendship that eventually became a marriage in which is exactly what Tony and I have lived through.

I always remember way back when I first met Tony, he said that men and women can't just be friends and I was so annoyed thinking he didn't know what he was talking about......
Yet just like the first scene in "When Harry met Sally." I laugh and see how very similar to those characters we both are! It never gets old, not really as I laugh every time and tear up just the same watching that movie year to year!

Every new year is a whole new life lesson and a new adventure, 
I'm ready to see what 2017 will be like with my new word "Courage." to take on the next 12 months!

Happy New Year out there!

Friday, December 30, 2016

Yes! Magazine

For over 10 years now the "
Yes! Magazine" has been my most favorite magazine.

I have loved everything GOOD that it will cover and I love all the encouragement when facing "hard times." Such as we are going into a new year with a new president and a lot of new issues or protests. 
(People are honestly dividing over these political games....I just don't get it)

So as we worry about bullying, growing hate and everything else annoying in the world, we can grab this good magazine,  read up on what a good positive thought can do for us. Like in helping us deal wisely, bravely for the always fast appoarching future.

I am hoping for 2017 to be more creative and accomplished in all my unfinished crafting projects. This LINK is reminding how much I love this magazine!

Yes I can!

Thursday, December 29, 2016

Jesus the Ancient Alien

I was studying this week in my J.W. bible study about the power of praying, it was a good topic from the bible, sometimes I feel like studying the bible these days is helping me heal from the past. 

Growing up Christian was a dramatic way of life, a controlled brain washing that started from birth. In much the same way of ANY religion, it will dominate you and fill your life with guilt and shame.
Like with politics or dieting people jump on to their belief systems in order to better their lives, in order to have answers for life's million questions and struggling helplessness.

Studying the bible every week with my elderly friend Bernice, and her niece Melody allows me to remember so much more to the bible.
It allows me to share about all the different styles of churches that I saw as a kid, how I was finally at home and felt safe in the legalistic small baptist church, where everyone was mostly homeschooled and guarded by all the rules we lived by. It was peaceful and calm, finally I was very happy with God when I was there, I was very mindful in prayer. In fact without praying in my life back then I would of felt so beyond helpless and afraid! Praying gave me insight to myself and my bravery grew from feeling so close to God. I will always admire praying, it helped me through so much while growing up!
Jesus is a huge part of Christmas for the Christians I know. The JW religion believe in Jesus too, they just don't celebrate any holiday that would by accident take their worship away from Jehovah. It's such a peaceful calm religion that I love studying it, praying to get our focus into the scriptures and discuss what was the reason or why was God not fixing everything on this earth for us sooner then later?
Bernice is 87 years old and has lived her whole life devoted always to being a Jehovah Witness, even when her husband disagreed or when her son choose a whole different way to live in being more involved with his community. I love how happy she was with her parents growing up that she learned to read from holding the bible and following her family around. Good memories and good healthy relationships are so inspiring to me that I admire my wiser friend. She and I clicked in 2011 as neighbors, we got along so well that I would spend all afternoon drinking lemon aid on her patio or sharing a dish of whatever I cooked for dinner. When she asked me to be in her bible study I was wondering what does the bible even look like to me now?
I know so much more about the ancient times, about the idea of aliens and all these legends of Gods coming from the sky that I wonder if Jesus was an alien too? 
I love debating over scriptures and connecting it to the Greek gods and pagan worship. Because it's all tangled up together, and it all shares the very same ideas, since there is no way of knowing for sure this makes studying the bible very fascinating to me while watching an episode of "Ancient Aliens."

My husband Tony asks "How did you know what he was going say?" I look from my lap top with my coffee mug nearby as he ate breakfast watching an episode of "Ancient Aliens." I become aware that it's in the bible too as the show moves on in front of us I explain "We were just studying about that last week, it's in the bible.....Maybe Jesus was an alien? Ya know that would make far more sense after he died he floated up into the sky where his space ship waited for him." Tony smiled and said "I should watch these shows with you more often, you know a lot about this." 
I smirked and winked back at him "It's because I like to pray a lot." He groaned his protest and annoyance as I chuckled.

Maybe there really are aliens inside the moon, monitoring our worldly behaviors and seeing how long can a myth last on the earth? How long can we inflict suffering onto each other? How long can Jesus be so misunderstood? 
....I for one am always going to wonder what the REAL story actually is..... 
AND I'm always going to live in awe of Jehovah's creations, I choose to be in awe over any legendary story that is apart of our society, while also praying to God we don't mess it all up in the end. 

Wednesday, December 28, 2016

Sliding into Siblings

             It was a very snowy day on the slopes of Bogus Basin when I was sixteen years old, I stood beside my skiing buddy, my lovely friend Rebecca. We helped each other get ready to ski down the Silver Queen slope.
As the high wind hit against our faces, we stopped at the top for a moment to ski together slowly.
 Just then we heard over our shoulders "Eeeeeecheeewawa WOMAN!" as the new skier flew by us in such high speed, shooting snow up over us as I laughed.
I explained to Rebecca "That was just my sister sayin' "HI."  sometimes she sings at me instead." I smiled and shrugged.
Rebecca questioned "She calls you "Woman."?" I nodded "Yup, it helps me know if she is in a good mood or not if she calls me that or not."

My sister was truly flying down the slope in front of us, in one big cloud of snow dust she was like a little dot against the wide open landscape all around us on the mountain side.
Rebecca asked "Isn't she going way to fast? That's not safe is it?" I chuckled and shrugged "Well, that's my sister for ya. She is a wild one, completely fearless and good at most anything she does!....just don't make her mad at ya."

Rebecca asked as we began to move slowly down the hillside "Are you two friends?" I thought for a moment watching my sister fly down the same slope we were staring  down, I replied "I never really know day to day with her, for my part we are friends though....I guess she would say it depends too."
 I was watching my sister's skiing, thinking about this interesting question "Are we friends when we are first family at birth? Is that a forced friendship or a natural one?" 
I was lost in my thoughts watching my sister zoom through the slope right in front of me when suddenly she hit an ice patch! It was like a bomb went off under her! Just like in slow motion of watching a movie! I screamed without thinking, I saw her fall like she was made of those fun little pieces in kids toys called legos! 
I screamed instantly in that same second that she hit the ground so hard and wiped out...I screamed out  "DANA!"
 My alarm cry echoed out through the whole canyon of that windy cold winter day. 
Rebecca whispered beside me "Dear God protect her!" as I grabbed for her arm in my sudden eye witnessing fear I cried out again "Dana! Dana! hold on! I'm coming, I'm coming!" Real honest fear pushed me  forward down the ski slope faster then I usually liked, fear was beating through my chest because it had looked so bad, so painful to me!  
Rebecca waved me on saying "I'll wait here for my Dad, go, go careful yourself!" 
My heart was bursting out of my chest, burning through all my layers as pure sweat in my struggle to hurry to her side was leaving me completely wobbly! (and of course back at that helpless age, I was praying so much too) 
I was shocked by what I had just seen! I kept an eye on her laying there, she was completely still in a tangled mess. "

Then from the opposite slope came someone closer to her, who ran straight towards her and touch her, helped her sit down and she burst out screaming! 
It was such a terrifying sound of her being in pain that I burst into a thousand tears instantly for my sister, my crying was in full force of panic in not knowing how badly she was hurt too. 
While I noticed how my praying helped calm me down in the whole process of getting to her side right away!
 The person who had ran up to her a few seconds after she hit the snow was very hands on with my sister from what I could see as I skied up to them, I knew she needed me in this constantly screaming and the first person on the scene of her crash was our very own brother! 
I was in awe of seeing him there holding onto our hysterical sister in both of his arms! As I arrived removing my equipment. I exclaimed "Derek??? Where in the world did you come from?" What are the odds we 3 siblings would be at the same place at the same time??? 
While all of his buddies ran around us gathering up our sisters things, her hysteria was loud and crazy, so now everyone was coming in to help. Derek held on to Dana tightly his arms all the way locked around her as he said "Calm down, calm down...Don't move! Are you hurt?" She didn't seemed to notice any of us, as he looked worried at me "I can't get her to stay still!"  I felt like suddenly I knew what to say and what to do so I faced my red face crazy sister  demanding her to sit down and be still, our brother Derek had gone to her side right away, he first tried to hold one arm and talk to her, but she screaming out craziness and trying to push everyone away from her made him wrap his arms completely around her a very risky move, for to my  surprise she didn't fight him off or punch him in face as I would of worried she would do. Instead she rather needed us to take charge of her for once and we did, 
we all worked together in helping her and so she sat down still and trying to get her barrings.
She was still so very angry in that moment that through my symptomatic tears I bravely face her so she could really see me, saying right at her "Listen to me, look at me, Sissy please be still and think about this, are you bleeding, are you broken any where?" 
Derek had a scarf around his neck that he pulled out and helped hold to her bloody nose, since she was sitting there thinking about her injures, she was clearly stubborn in not crying so her replies were snippy and aggressive. It didn't bother either Derek or I to help her make sure nothing was broken in her as we got her back to the lodge safely.... 

In awe I was left to think about what had happened and I asked my mother in bewilderment "What are the odds that both Derek and I would be that close to Dana when she wiped out???"
Our mother explained that this all had happen in order to warn Dana that she needs to slow down, that God knew she would need both of us at the very moment in time to help her.
I was left thinking to myself "...maybe so, maybe so? Still so amazing to me."
My brother is 3 years younger then me with his own group of friends, so during those days in high-school I barely saw him once we went skiing, in fact I could go a whole day never once seeing him. Our Sister was fearless and fast so she skied with many great skiers in black diamond slopes and back trails even taking on jumps or moguls. Sometimes I would bump into her as she flew by me singing or saying her ever famous ""Eeeeeecheeewawa WOMAN!" 

So as we rode home that night in the back of the hooded pick-up under sleeping bags and pillows, we all seemed to have a new appreciation for each other.
I noticed Dana was in big trouble with our Mother as we loaded up in the dark cold night. I explained "She hit pure ICE no one even the best of a skier can't control an ice patch like that." Derek also added what he felt while walking towards Dana on the ice. These conversations seemed to lessen our mother's stern face. 
Then in back canopy on the almost 2 hour drive home Dana asked lots of questions in what had happened from our points of view. 
I loved this moment in time, I knew I always will remember it for the sharing of stories, the connecting through fear and the gratefulness that we can laugh about this now!

Derek shared that when he looked up seeing Dana skied by so fast in front of him, he had no idea it was her until she hit the ice  patch and then he heard me scream out her name at the same moment, so he knew that this person was HIS sister who needed him right away! 
Derek passed us the bag of chips as he continued on about what he had seen, and what he feared.
He explained "I barely reach you and it was like you didn't know who I was because she started swinging at me! The screaming was such a surprise I didn't know you could scream that loud before!" Dana and I giggled, he continued "And so I didn't know what to do so I just hugged you in hopes you would realize it was me, then Debby slides right up all crying and barking orders to everyone too! I was like "Have my sisters all gone crazy???" She was like almost mad in her commands, I was like whatever it takes to keep you from screaming anymore." Dana replied half laughing, half worried "Oh I know it rather shocked me too! I was like "Is THIS Debby??? Who is this person really??? Not my silly afraid of her own shadow sister telling ME what to do right now? I couldn't believe how determined she was in having me sit down." We burst out laughing as we realized there was so much more to each of us in facing a crisis. 

I explained "When I saw you fly out over the ice, I screamed without thinking then I heard your screaming and I thought you were almost dead or something, as I listened to your screaming I realized that you were telling everyone to get back off the same ice patch you were on....I mean you were more mad at everyone coming to help you then you were actually hurt. I figured all that out as I skied up to the scene and so I just knew what was really going on. Everyone else thought you were broken and in serious pain, but I realized you were trying to protect everyone else from coming near you."  She looked at me blankly "I don't remember that at all? In fact I don't remember even hitting the ice or what happened right afterwords, I can't remember anything expect fear that other people will come flying by and wipe out too. I guess I was screaming, I felt like I was surrounded by complete idiots! Then I saw you walk up to me that is what I actually remember is you demanding me to sit down." Derek nodded quickly at us with his eyes wide as he also added "You were screaming out the moment I touch you it's why I grabbed your arm, then I just hugged you hoping you would realize I was there and stop screaming. I was also hoping you would NOT punch me in the face!" 
We burst out laughing  all together, we laugh till our sides hurt. It was funny to see how much we had in common after all.
In that one crazy moment of my sister skiing by, of me screaming out her name as her huge wipe out unfolded to the very same moment my brother takes off his skis to run up and help her, I slide up into our family scene, into our growing up awkward friendships.

I said very thoughtful more to myself then to my brother and sister as we huddled in under the blankets getting cold riding in the back of the little pick up all the way home in the midnight hour, I smiled at how nice it was be friends with my siblings even for that fleeting moment in time, I said out loud  "How Amazing, how truly amazing it was that WE were all on the same side of the mountain at the very same time?!?!? That we all came together to help each other, sliding into each other at such a moment as that, It's like what Mom said that God knew this would bring us closer together ....maybe?"  

Sunday, December 25, 2016

Celebrating Christmas

              Every year I decorate my home in a crazy amount of Christmas decorations, I really love staying home cozy in with my hubby and all our pets.

It's wonderful to see the tons of snow outside in the clear sunlight right now! 
Celebrating Christmas every year shifts and changes, I love how romantic it is to just be! 

I hope ya'll have Fun for the holidays!

Merry Christmas once again!

Thursday, December 22, 2016

Facing Facebook

It's always fascinating to me how many times a year Facebook can change.

How many formats it can upload, upgrade and upend my regularly schedule life style steps.

Back when I first joined I really loved how easy it was to get online, to see all my friends listed with the updated status report. 
I liked how easy it was to respond and to connect while on  facebook, then I realized my relationships with my extended family was no longer one sided, for I grow up mailing out long thick letters and hoping they will respond soon, like in the next month.

It was instant admiration and adoring connections! 

Growing up in a big family my Grandma loved to be the family gossip queen, she would come for a visit with the latest family dramas. I ate it all up, every word and every situation my Grandma gave me! 
She controlled how all of her children saw each other, and how they took sides in arguments and personal battles. 
It was very clear to me that I never really knew all these people in my life until Facebook came out into the world!

We were all able to reconnected online, this open doors to our family history unlike anything ever before! When friendships grew from our shared past, the "whole story" was finally known! and I ate it all up in true magic and wonder of how good facebook is for us all!
When my cousin needed a place to stay for a night away from our Grandma when they came to town, I loved seeing him again, being friends like always.
 We were really truly adults now so this gave us the grace to look back at such a woman as our Grandma always was and talk about it more. We didn't it so personal, as we wanted to understand it more while supporting each other when we had to face her. I was so impressed by how facebook gave us more insight to each other's lives, and  I shared with him that I had stood up to our Grandma many years back face to face in person. To which she never liked me again.... 
He then explained that she really really like him but was still a handful! We laughed together having survived the same big family all those years later!

Facebook brought us all out into the open, the honesty and the family history, nothing could be avoid anymore!

When I was 30 years old at a family BBQ, Grandma spat out "I HATE facebook!" while visiting around a warm cozy firepit at my Aunt Vee's home. I didn't miss a beat with her as always in correcting her I laughed back "Well of course you do! facebook allows all of your kids to be friends without you! They all have so much more in common then they ever realized before...imagine that!" I winked at her and walked on knowing she was glaring into my back as I went...
Of course I had already corrected her rudeness a couple of times that evening so she was really disliking me! I patted her arm saying "Just say "Thank you." and don't be rude." she hissed at me in fire eyes and I nodded like a mother does to an unruly child.
When it came to my Grandma I had no room for her usual antics.

I admire facebook for bringing about that family BBQ, for having us feel closer to each other with personal profiles revealing our many hobbies and skills, it gave us more depth to each other that I truly was impressed!

Back then my best friend was a "mysterious FB user." she loved to share just enough to make everyone ask for more, which often had me calling her on the phone to talk in person the second I read on FB a cryptic message from her I was calling for more!
And she loved it, leaving the people on FB to know but not know anything about her!

There was a time when my very difficult Grandma attacked me on Facebook, rudely venting and I was taken by surprise but I wasn't left feeling "Unloved" in any way. I think that was what she trying to do so instead I retorted in the nicest direct way that left my husband so mad at the whole situation even more. 
He questioned me about it all asking "What are you a "Push over"??? Give her a piece of her own medicine!" 
I understood that he wanted to protect from being bullied, so I explained to him "I choose to be respectful first and foremost, I don't have anything to prove to her even if I made a great defense against what she is saying, she wouldn't learn what I want her to learn about healthy boundaries so it all comes down to kindness, to my honest care for her well being and not what is right or wrong. I grew up surrounded by bullies, they never win in the end......they never really go away as well. So why not be the best person I can be in facing them?" 
That moment in my facebook history was profoundly moving to all the surrounding viewers who saw how Grandma and I were communicating, how she was rudely challenging me and had been gossiping about me in such a wrong way with the rest of the family, so I also knew this was long over due, her attacks on me where so justified in her eyes. I stayed strong the whole time in facing her knowing my life won't loose it's love and joy from anything she said in the end.

Those following weeks after Grandma had attacked me online, My heart was busting forth such awe of all the support I received in the aftermath. I had reconnected to so many extended family remembers who wanted to send me a hug over handling myself very well with Grandma. I hadn't thought about everyone else reading and watching us, it surprised me and bewildered me in all these new friendships I received after such a bullying battle, I was in awe over the wonders of facebook!

   I realized during that time just how important facebook is our world, along with validation, with judgement, with misunderstandings and with history in the making we are apart of it ALL....
It's a powerful freeing society that churches fight against and the governments will want to own!
We the people come to facebook for many different reasons, it's a world entirely of it's own. We are becoming more aware of the bigger picture, the whole story brought to us through many different life stories!

Maybe this is even bigger then I can grasp, for the newest generation will not be going back to the old days of a news paper with a set agenda. 
Instead they will be leading the way for the next big thing, and no doubt joking about how long it takes to send an email!

           I sadly sighed saying "Facebook needs music playing all the time like on "Myspace", I sure miss that feature!" my husband groans back over his shoulder at me form the computer "Oh annoying that would be!"  
I frowned back at him explaining "Sharing music is insight to the soul!" He laughed while shaking his head "Well, there sure are a ton of annoying souls out there then." 
I burst out laughing at him as I put my own music on!

Friday, December 16, 2016

Jesus the Aries

Aries is the sign of a ram bursting forth with new life, Aries is the sign for those born in spring time which makes sense to see the metaphor of the ancient legends and stories behind the zodiac cycling wonders to the very bible stories almost word for word you see the same stories, you realize that religion, the bible and all the zealous followers for such faiths based on Jesus or eternal life match up exactly to the Astrology calendar....and once you know this, once you see the connections just like the matching yearly weather seasons you step back in awe of God or of the pure magic in it ALL!

To see Jesus as an Aries and to notice his personality bursting through the bible like a ram on fire with a passion and the quest for NEW life make me smile and nod, for the bible was written and organized by men, lots of very important rich controlling men whose intelligence had to sneak in the signs of the stars to be even more interesting.....
Women who protest these bible rules will change the future and the whole world in the end.
I grew up knowing all through my life that women played a bigger role in this universe then just what they were "allowed" to do by the I will be watching in awe of what's on the other side of that wall called "Christianity."  If Jesus ends up being a woman this whole time I will laugh out loud and smile even prouder because it's all so messed up out there in what people want their faith to be for them.......

Every day I am learning something new! I love being alive and trying to figure it all out for myself, yet sometimes something old is connected to that something new and I love that "Ah Ha!" feeling, I love that "What in the world?!?" feeling too! I would have to say my favorite moment is when the feeling of "Whoa, this is bigger then anything I could ever imagine."  

As a woman with a will to speak out, I know that I will never know for sure and that is the biggest question of all......I just chip away at the judgement, at the control and at the wall that is religion. 
Come spring Jesus will rise again and bring forth new life, or Aries will rise with the birth of new earth!

Thursday, December 15, 2016

Jesus the Nazarene

(Nazarene is a title applied to Jesus, who, according to the New Testament, grew up in Nazareth,[1] a town in Galilee, now in northern Israel. The word is used to translate two related terms that appear in the Greek New TestamentNazarēnos (Nazarene) and Nazōraios(Nazorean). The phrases traditionally rendered as "Jesus of Nazareth" can also be translated as "Jesus the Nazarene". 
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia)

Since I grew up in Christianity, I know it like the back of my hand!

Taking my mother to her ladies retreat in Cascade Idaho that first weekend in October this past fall made me realize this is always going to be in my blood.

The music coming from chapel in my mother's Nazarene retreat for her birthday weekend was like stepping back in time for me! I was blown away by how it had not changed in my last 30 years!?!?   

I have changed, I am not the same 7 year old girl running up and down the church circling stairwell singing "Jesus loves me this I know." to the smell of old carpet and old wood.

The good times at church, those memories of us all being together. In the praying, in the singing and most importantly in the laughing of a shared faith. All of those family members, all of those religious views coming together for the better of the family.

 I liked being reminded while at the retreat with my mother about those good times in my childhood, and she still needs to believe in the same way as back then, she still needs to feel God's love and purpose for her life especially now after her stroke, she told me that it's having his promises which gives her comfort in living paralyzed now.

I can understand how she feels, how she thinks. I admire her for not giving up in such negativity but it amazes me at the same time with everything we now know about the bible and how it was actually created, That she keeps to her original faith. Knowing about every religion in all of history manipulating the public for political use and mind control with so much guilty put upon people who want to please God....can't keep me loyal to a religion with so many mistakes and problems in it.

My mother looked so beautiful singing songs she had memorized and I liked the idea of God healing and comforting her, it was beautiful when it was focused on God's grace and God's unconditional love for her, I saw the good things among all the lies and crazy rules.....It was good to be apart of her world for a weekend.

I realized why I liked having my family all together while I was growing up and actually we could of all been from Mormonism, or the Kingdom Hall, we could of been loyal Catholics, instead we were modern day "Christians." as a kid all I cared about was being together, Jesus the Nazarene whose portrait hung off to the side of the stage at my Grandparents church was the one I prayed to and thought of as I grew up truly loving that place so familiar and friendly.

I can't go back to not knowing everything crazy and chaotic about religion, but I can enjoy remember the simple good times when it was easy for me to just taking my parents word for it and to hold hands around the dinner table in prayer in being grateful for our food and our family.

Not having the clear cut answers for my life makes it wide open for adventure and possibilities, I can sit with my Mom listening to her talk about the bible study or the worship service in such genuine delight, I am grateful for all these things to think about again and to question even more about my past and why I am so strongly happy in who I am today.....

Jesus the Nazarene will always be there stuck in time, never changing and never leaving his own huge famous photo of spiritual wonder and he will always be in those same songs full of his praises......a rather odd thing to understand, no wonder the human life is so short it gets weary of living through things on repeat!
Another 100 year from now that same story about Jesus leaves another 7 year old girl asking "Why was dying the answer to blame all of us for his suffering?"

Wednesday, December 14, 2016

A Courage Question

Lately I've been wondering if Courage and being Brave are the same thing?

It's an interesting thing to think about as we live in a crazy weird world, or maybe I am the crazy weird person and the world is the normal one?
I suppose I have always lived to the beat of my own drum, as I grow older that drumming sounds louder then usual and maybe it's the quiet earth of freshly added snow that makes me feel oddly out of place?
Jon Katz just wrote a bit on Courage in this LINK.
 My home is so lovely with snow surrounding it right now and I decorated with lights this year that pop out and welcome you in the early darkness of the days in crazy cold winter.
I am feeling like my new word for the new year should be Courage.
and I am not sure why.......This past year's word was Joy! and it helped me through some crazy moments as I counted it all Joy!
The journey ahead will need courage, I have been enjoying each word I choose to celebrate over the last 3 or 4 years now.
Looking back I see how the word applied and helped keep me focus on such things to work on in my self.
I know I have said "That I am the romance, I am the love in living my life as I go along, where as no one else can be responsible for those things in my life except for me."

Now I think courage is needed next.

It takes courage to face the future, to be real and authentic. To master myself in who I am aside from what everyone else may say or do....
It takes courage to tell the rest of the story, to say what is clearly on the mind while knowing how to not be hurtful or selfish.
I have been thinking about courage and the care it takes to control it too.
A winter's night thought to think about I guess....a new year to focus on some new things in myself too.

"Courage is not bowing to what others think, but bowing to what I think. I need to look in my mirror every morning and respect the face that I see. Right and wrong is a matter for the individual, not the mob." -Jon Katz

Sunday, December 11, 2016

Christmas to do!

I truly love the Holiday season!

Every year I have a system of my favorite traditions to
faithfully follow;

Watch "Elf" when first decorating my home with Christmas decor.
Watch "Love Actually." while baking holiday goodies.
Watch "A Muppet's Christmas Carol." and sing along once a week.
Watch "Home Alone." on a lazy weekend.
Watch the traditional "Christmas Carol" on Christmas eve.
Watch "It's A Wonderful Life." ALL the time!

Decorate home.
Walk through the Festival of Trees.
Enjoy The Garden a Glow.
Drive around looking at Christmas lights displays in lovely fun homes.
Order a Holiday coffee drink and walk around downtown.
Go out to a nice dinner all dressed up.
Sit by the fire where ever possible.
Drink Mulled wine while it snows outside.
Go no where after it snows for weeks!

Cut snowflakes out.
Make Christmas cards.
Write personal letters to far away family.
Sing along to Christmas music.

Read books.
Take Naps.
stay in Pajamas all day.
Cook all kinds of  comfort food dishes.
Walk the dogs in short spurts and cuddle in the evening under Christmas blankets.
Make Hot toddies and yummy soups in bone broth.

I also like to deep clean and organize everything while it's cold outside.

I can't stand the early dark days of winter so I hang clear Christmas lights all over my home for help to deal in the shadow gray days.

I use peppermint essential oil on all my new winter bedding.

I love holiday scented candles to burn while I'm home with smells of cinnamon and evergreen trees.

If it snows good and deep, then I make a snowman and a snow angel, while rolling around with my dog Oscar who loves to play in the snow just not stay out long too.

I call to chat with my friends or my aunts for a long cozy conversation.

I make gifts in baskets with little goodies along with coffee or a wine bottle to be at the ready.

I enjoy all kinds of arts and crafts time during the holiday season and I always love thinking up new and fun things to do for celebrating Christmas!


Saturday, December 10, 2016

The Stars are Shining Brightly!

                    The February evening was so clear and so vastly beautiful that it took my breath away so I stood a moment to look at it from the top of the mountain, I held still in my skis and stocking cap grasping in the colors of orange and purple my mind sparked by the feeling of wonder and of God's pure magic before my very eyes as I was 17 years old now, "It's dinner time!!! WoooooHooo! I can go see my mom now, she'll have a crock pot of yumminess and she won't think I am wasting time in the Lodge. Oh to be warm again too!" I push off the clear wide open mountain side and swung down into the ski trails on my way against the sunset and against the bitter cold flying in my face, everything I wore was miss matched and given to me for the protection against the white fluffy snow! I never cared about my clothes expect that they would keep me warm and I always packed a bag of replacements less I got wet or freezing cold in the whole day there from 10am to 10pm  for my mother believed "...In getting your money's worth." 

And I was made wiser for it too, example:
"Mom? Mom? I'm so hungry I could eat a whole cow! It takes tons of energy to ski and stay up right! I fell going down the bunny hill and knock over 3 kids...I felt so bad, I bet I looked just like a bowling ball knocking down human pins! I HATE skiing, I hate it....and I hurt all over from being cold."
My mother set out a sandwich for me as she frowned explaining "Well, give it should hurry and eat so that you don't miss your 1pm lesson. A ski teacher could help you learn how to stop." I shrugged back and eat as quickly as I could then burped really loud with a smile I know my mom would protest and not find it as funny as I did "Debby, ladies don't burp like that!" I replied "It's better then farting." I laugh and my mother shushes me looking around as if someone would over hear me. I explain in my know-it-all 14 year old way "IF I don't learn anything at this lesson then I am NOT skiing anymore! I am a danger to everyone out there!" My Mom put my hat on and said "You have to get your money's worth! Now go...don't waste any more time, your loosing time that you could be out skiing!"  I mumble back still giggling when I burped again that grape soda with lunch was not a good choice for hydration! My mother always stayed in the lodge from all those years with her long table setup in a home away from home feeling. She fed us kids as we all filtered in and out for the long cold day, always reminding us as we warmed up a bit that we still needed to get out on the slopes in order to get our money's worth.
Then there was the "Buddy system." as my siblings had lots of friends their own age to ski beside, I on the other hand was very limited in my choices and in a promise that I made my Grandpa "Don't be reckless or go to fast, promise me that you will be very careful." I said in alarming new awarenes that I promise him. I skied very very careful, no one liked waiting for me at the beginning. I was wobbly and easily uncertain as one ski got stuck up right and the other slide down creating a body wedge and me saying "oh dear, oh dear, oh dear...what to do? what to do?" I would hold very still yet my whole body would moved on it's own being pulled against the wide open mountain slope.
 "Have I said today that I HATE skiing yet?" My mother would chuckle and pour me soup as I updated her every time on the latest mistakes I had made on the ski runs. Sometimes she would laugh and sometimes she would worry warning me and trying to help me not hate it so much, I kept at from 14 to 19 but I never really found myself craving it. My mother's number one question every morning as I head out  "Whose your Buddy today Debby?" I would groan back "I don't want a buddy! can I just ski alone???" My mother's alarming face would burst out as she set up our corner table by the heat vent were she hung wet gloves and hats all the time "No, It's way to dangerous out there to ski alone! Come back in from your lesson and I'll find someone for you to ski with." I would leave her saying "Oh Great......everyone you pick looks at me like I'm the mentally challenged kid who needs a pat on the head. and then they talk slowly to me like I'm to stupid to understand how to ski!"  I sighed helplessly always struggling to keep up in class, always falling in oddly weird shaped ways and even once getting stuck in a tree trunk! 
The buddy system was the most annoying of all my mother's rules, and I learned to skirt around it carefully. I would usually bring a new friend from my training class to meet my mother with a big smile I would share "Here's my buddy for today!" She would nod proudly and I would pretend that person stayed with me when I saw her again. One time I came in for dinner and didn't want to leave this made my mother so upset that I was loosing hours of skiing I soon learned to leave out after dinner and try to ski in the cold wet dark only to check in my rentals and sit reading a magazine in other building away from my mom until a quarter to 10pm then popping in to help her clean up without her getting upset at me.
Don't get me wrong, skiing was fun under all the right conditions, I tried always to follow every rule my mother made too.....but sometimes I had to be alone, I had to get warm and stay away from everyone in order to have peace of mind.
The winter I had turned 17, I had all of this to ski by myself without worrying and alarming my mother. She knew I was sticking to the green slopes on the map, I very rarely branch out to a blue level snowy slope so she began to trust me on my own.
Then the night skiing was my favorite after a full tummy of warm foods, I would see the clear stars like magical sparks in the sky above me.
As I kissed my baby brother's cheek and put on my gloves I said to my mom "It's sooooooo PERFECT outside right now, clear warm sky, snow is all fluffy no ice and the stars are very very bright! It's like pure magic out there! I am going to try the Lu Lu again." My mother nodded while glancing down at her map and marking it.....this way if I never returned she would know where to send the rescuers.
It was a perfect night I always loved riding the ski lift up into the tree tops, dangling there by myself in my own thoughts and wonders.....I didn't wear a stocking cap that night because it was almost warm, this was the end of the season and I felt so comfortable in less clothing and my long hair flying wild and free.
It surprised me just how good I was gliding down the slope, in record time I made it back up the lift and in that perfect nice night I went over 12 times one right after another, 
"Talk about getting my money's worth!?!?!" I thought proudly.
It was the best skiing I had ever done in my life, I was so naturally relaxed and free to move about whenever I wanted, with no force "buddy" or no slushy rain on my head. I felt happy, I felt strong and most importantly I felt like I would never ski this good again.

With that dark sky above me bursting forth such big bright stars, I sat looking up at them in awe while I rode on the ski lift every time, then in wonder of my powerful self I hit the slope with my wide open arms and small little turns!
   This was a magical night to me! For I knew I would never ever forget it!  As I smoothly glided into place as if I intended to do so!
 I thought to myself "I have arrived! This is it! I can ski!?!?"

When I saw my mother again at closing time I was vibrantly excited about how many times I took on the Lu Lu and succeeded! 
She smiled proudly back at me saying "See, practice makes perfect!" I added with a knowing smile while helping her load up the car ".....AND I sure got my money's worth tonight!" 

Chris LeDoux- The Call Of The Wild

Some songs are just so powerful for words! And yet it's the words of the song that give ya such a feeling of awe and inner strength!

Friday, December 9, 2016

The Danish Girl

Last November a movie was release to theaters that blew me away in magical Beauty!
 It was so well done, so classy and amazing! That I think it's one of the most important films of all time!

And so in my favorite theater here in Boise, my husband took me on a real date night to The Flicks and he didn't complain once for the whole night even though he hates crowds and hates movie theaters.
I was in awe of such an incredible story shared sitting beside my husband who I hadn't been on much of date since he started law school, now that he had graduated and it was like he saw me for the first time again.
I was rather not use to him actually paying attention to me again so that night at the movies I kept looking over my shoulder as I saw him smiling towards me while I thought he saw some one he knew only to feel silly he was just happy to see me!
After this BEAUTIFUL movie about the true love in Friendship, I was delight that my husband bought some wine and we sat in the lobby by the fireplace to discuss this powerful story.

It was truly a magical night to share how much we have missed each other in struggling and trying to survive his law school years.....when he said he was so sorry, I burst into happy tears because that was all I need to hear....and just like this movie I saw ourselves in the very familiar story of one partner trying to find themselves and be honest in who they really are while the other holds steady on in hopes it can get better one the end, we are forever changed and never to return to the beginning of our life stories but we are stronger, wiser and more aware of how limited our time is on this earth, just like in this movie that I love so much, the only thing that last is honest friendship.

As winter's cold dark night had us talking and laughing again together like we had so long ago in another time and place, I said that this movie was one THE most profound story of true love!

My husband said thoughtfully and kindly as we sat warming up by the crackling fire glow  how usually he thinks stories like these can be obnoxious, but this film was so breath taking and powerful that he could watch it again, which usually he never thinks that about most movies.

A monumental moment in our lives to delight in being out together and both truly impressed by "The Danish Girl."  and the freedom in a whole new life ahead of us! 

Thursday, December 8, 2016

Bless Us All

My Favorite Movie List

It's always fun to think of my favorite things, I also love asking people what their favorite things are too, although such a question annoys my husband because he says that you can not limit your interest or your entertainment so quickly......

             I for one love thinking about my favorite things because they reveal what kind of person I am or what I feel is very important to me.

I really love making list of my favorite colors, movies and places.

These movies are the ones I watch over and over again:

Disney's "Brave"  (2012)
"Saved!" (2004)
"Lions For Lambs." (2007)
Disney's "Finding Nemo." (2003)
ALL of the Harry Potters (2001-2011)
"Steel Magnolias." (1989)
"A River Runs Through it." (1992)
"Babe." (1995)
"Tree of Life." (2011)
"Fried Green Tomatoes." (1991)
"The Secret Lives of Bees." (2008)
"Mamma Mia." (2008)
"Ironed Jawed Angels." (2004)
"The Last Castle." (2001)
"Sense and Sensibility." (1995)
"Anne of Green Gables." (1985)
"Groundhog Day." (1993)
"The Color Purple." (1985)
"Spy Game." (2001)
"The Journey of Natty Gann." (1985)
"Jurassic Park." (1993)
"The Help." (2011)
"Office space." (1999)
"Best in Show." (2000)
"Alice in Wonderland." (2010)
"Burn After Reading." (2008)
"The Great Gatsby." (1974 and 2013)
"The Danish Girl." (2015)

I'm sure there will always be more favorites that I forgot about or I will add to my list as I go.....but I see a trend of drama, heartfelt, soulful movies along with some clever comedy in making me so happy to know what I like so I don't waste my time with the wrong sort of movies or stories :-)