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Thursday, June 21, 2018

LoLa & Hauser - Moonlight Sonata

This music welcomes in the Summer solstice, there is such a beauty in spring leaving and summer arriving. The hope of those good weather days ahead and that sense of adventure too!
I truly love this time of the year, I have been spending more days with my pets out on a blanket in the warm nice sunshine, we are all together in a magical place called HOME!

The moon light is pure wonder in this sweet summer time, summer time!

Wednesday, June 13, 2018

Happy Birthday Brother

        I would often say "Wait a minuet....You did WHAT?" to my brother Derek.

He would grin back at me knowing already what I was going to say next. He would have that look of "Yup, that's my big sister, having her questions and concerns."
I would often warn him about the whole buddy system when heading out into the wild. I would constantly share everything I knew about safety first and he would always match me word for word in already knowing the risks. He would have that spark in his eye at the fun of watching me freak out for a bit. I can still remember feeling like one day he will die in the mountains........
I was never ready for such a loss in my life but I had a few thoughts of how my "mountain man" (as I called him that all the time) would one day go out into the beauty of this earth and never be seen again.

Last year I was up crying through the night in all my grief of such a severe loss for my life, it was the eve of his first birthday gone from this world.....
....and the year before that we had gone out to sushi in celebrating his 34th year. 
My memories of us laughing, of us teasing Tony or sharing our childhood memories. Derek always told good stories, we spent that night of all you can eat sushi chatting up storm of politics, of new movies we had seen and our favorite TV series. I told him how his Christmas gift had finally made sense to me in the whole world of chrome casting and he giggled happily at me. That night as I watched my brother Derek help my husband Tony find a seat while waiting for me to catch back up to them, they looked like such good friends walking side by side that I took a mental picture. That I was truly happy to us get together like that! I even said "Next year we should not eat anything all day so we can order more sushi!" The guys looked at me in surprise as they both replied "I did do that." I laughed on as Derek half hug me leaning in with his usual clever smile "See Deb, Tony and I know how to prepare for an all you can eat place."

Last year was the first year, so this is now the 2nd and I still can lay on the floor to cry........

No matter the years ahead for on this day, my brother's birthday I will mourn. and I will remember him!

I will remember how nice he looked walking casually down the street waving goodbye on that nice June night.

Happy Birthday Brother! I will always miss you!

Tuesday, June 12, 2018

From the movie "Babe."

This scene always gets me dancing and moving, I have loved this movie from the first time we rented it. My Grandparents were visiting from St. Maries Idaho and I was 16 years old. We had big bowls of popcorn that my father would request me to butter because I evenly tossed the kernels in the freshly melted and lightly salted butter slowly and carefully.
Then we would all find cozy seats in the living room to watch TV. Most often us kids would get pillows and blankets for the floor while the adults had the furniture.
This movie was very unquiet in it's story telling style and the brave pig captured our hearts. My baby brothers grew up with this movie on in the back ground all the time and we would often dance to this very clip then jump off the couch together for fun!
Lately I have been reminiscing about those days, living as a teenager in the 1990's with no internet and no cell phones. I have been realizing how drastically different it is now, while there were many of the same things back then in technology, my life on the fruit farm was like in this movie for Farmer Hogget so the words "Fax Machine." seemed like nonsense.

As I have been doing yard work today I have been singing this song.....
I live in a cozy place, in simple things that I can capture so easily with a click of my phone or some typing on my lap top. I wonder how these things could change in the future too....and yet music and songs still remain!

I can see everyone in my memory all settled in once again, watching this movie for the first time, laughing out loud or cheering on the show, I can still remember the good times...........

Thursday, June 7, 2018

Mornings with Jazzy

I have 3 old cats, I hope they can all live to 20 years old I would be delighted so that's in 8 more years, (ya never know with cats really) I love my cats so much because they kill mice, chase off birds and just purr away the day or sleep on my head. Fuzzy paws on my cheeks can wake me up in a perfect moment of peacefulness.

They are all 3 very sweet and very cuddly in their own personalities, The black cat Lewis lets me hold him and kiss him all over while I feed him chopped chicken, he gets the most infections so he is usually on medication. Tinker lets me hug her and carry her in short spurts, she was our first rescue kitten now she will be 12 years old. Tinker always purrs at night when she lays between me and my husband, she hates to share attention with the other cats but she is never mean to them, so now these 3 cats have been together 6 years this July.
Actually Jazzy came to me in 2013, one of the most loving lazy and sweetly always happy cats in the whole world!
Her big fluffy gray stripe colors make her a BEAUTIFUL cat and she is always purring the moment you pick her up, which makes her so sweet for everyone!
I love having my first cup of coffee in these nice mornings with her on my patio against the warm lovely sunshine. My life is full of such loves in all these pets, in our simple quiet life!
I am ever so grateful that Jazzy came into my home devoted to my dogs and loving to my cats, she never tried to ever pick a fight, never tried to dominate. She simply came in and ran beside the dogs outside, smelling them as they did her. She simply went right over and licked my big black cat on the nose he was shocked at first then fell head over heels in love with her!
They are always together napping, cleaning and cuddling each other. I admire how Jazzy as a grown cat of 4 or 5 years old would be so easy going in a new home!
She likes to hide in wait of Tinker walking by then pop out to make Tinker freak out, as Tinker shoots away hissing and annoyed Jazzy lays right down with what looks like a smile. It is almost like they have these 3 personalities that they enjoy being different of each other yet in the world of cats they all want the same things. I love my big backyard for them to be safer then ever before!
I love all the fruit trees that they climb up on and all the cat mint they eat! My mornings with Jazzy are so important to me! a coffee, a blanket as the sun warms everything up with Jazzy on my lap!
It is PERFECT! Truly a PURRFECT way to live for me!

As my brother Derek went to sit down beside me he stopped to ask "Is this a new cat?" I laughed "Yup! Cousin Ryan helped me volunteer at an animal rescue so after we walked some dogs they gave us this cat for free! She's so AMAZING." Derek kept trying to sit down but Jazzy wasn't moving or even aware much of his shadow as we sat on the patio that evening. I explained "She won't move even if you sit directly on her, she'll just purr in happiness that you are touching her. These pets don't know anything about sudden danger around's an oasis of peace." He stopped to look at me with a smirk "So they aren't very smart is that what you are saying?" I grabbed Jazzy up and he sat down then seconds later Jazzy was in his lap as he giggled back "I didn't invite you over, I'm not a cat person." I smiled big at my brother explaining "She will change your mind, there is no cat in the whole world more full of love then her!" And so Derek just let her stay there all through the evening on his lap as we chatted away together......

Wednesday, June 6, 2018

The Hollies- He ain't heavy, He's my brother

There is such beauty in June that it so often takes my breath away!
There is such a sense of hope for the summer time ahead and the beginning of everything growing that gives such a comfort to being alive.....
There is always going to be something so deeply special to me for my love of June! That bitter-sweet reality of living and dying will always be apart of me.
I am grateful to see another summer season ahead, to think of all the good I can do with these early mornings and warm days ahead!
I am inspired and I am intent on creating such beauty every where I go!
Living here in my brother's home, gives me such tears of loss and longing to talk again with him as I fix things and plant flowers all around here.
................THE ROAD IS LONG with a many winding turn.......
    (and I still live here, I'm strong enough to do my best!)  

Tuesday, June 5, 2018

Derek's Cherry Trees


I walk around every day to admire and love my backyard, I worry over how to care for my fruit trees. Pulling weeding and trimming back suckers, my fruit trees were once my brother Derek's fruit trees. He loved them and he cared for them so I find some of his tools and sprays. I think about how I can honor him in creating a beautiful cozy home. 

My family comes over for the holidays and I know he would be smiling over that. Our mother stays with me for a weekend at a time, we have the handicap set up to make her stay comfortable and nice. My father knows so much about fruit tree care as well so I have much to learn as he explained last time I had a blight to fight on the peach tree. Over mother's day my father was telling Tony how to care for the cherry, apple and peach trees as Tony was watching the hamburgers on the grill and Tony explained "I have no idea what you are saying, Debby handles all the outside stuff." I laughed so much as I realized it has always been this way, I love and adore nature, I sit outside to eat or drink my coffee every single nice day I can get! 
To just BE outside is wonderful and every morning even in the winter time I open all my windows just for that clean fresh air to run through my home and my lungs!
My brother Derek shared his harvest fruits while talking about his new home with me, so that now as I live here I feel closer to him.
I whisper to it all growing up around me in the warm morning sun shine "Come Alive!" For I am dreaming with my eyes wide open!

It will all get done, it will all get there, and truly look AMAZING as I plant flowers and setup my gardens along side those fruit trees.

Along side Derek's Cherry trees.......

Sunday, June 3, 2018

Allman Brothers Band - "Midnight Rider"

As the moon shines so bright at the midnight hour, as the world mostly sleeps on, the simple fact that I will always miss my brother Derek comes back to me again and again. 
For this is June, I love this month so much but I also know how sad it is too..... (in 10 days he would of been 36 years old)
I miss him so!
He is now the midnight mountain man who shots across the sky with stars above like a wave of his hand back down to the rest of us and I'm left to admire his time here on earth.
I think of him so!