Now I may of shared this before but it's still so very good, his advice has always been encouraging to me. I think the truth about time is so very important to always remember and fight for the freedom we all need to find!
When I think of one of my most favorite movies, I always think of "Cloudburst." When I need to be reminded of my life before such sadness and sudden changes then I sing "Ain't Life sweet." because it reminds me of where I come from and how I got here. When I look back at my 38 years I smile knowing it all tells a story and gives a strength in who I am that I am left so very proud and so very grateful. When I watch this movie over and over again I laugh and I cry, I think about how important true love is and how important it is to make the world a better place! When I tip my hat to this life I will still be singing to myself "Ain't Life Sweet....when you know what you are doin'.....Ain't Life sweet when you're not afraid to care."
This is one of my most favorite scene of the whole show, and it's one I have thought about a lot in this year actually. If I could just stand still for a moment I can feel myself reacting to this life right now without my brother Derek here anymore in much the same way as David. ......Perhaps like I watching this show all over again because it reminds me that I am not alone in how I feel and what I am facing for the future. Derek was suppose to BE the future, he was young and he was good. I guess we all need to scream now and then!
It's as if I am transported back through time whenever I watch an episode of "6 feet under."
I will always remember being so young back then doing dishes and dusting my book shelf of my very first home in my very first year married living so happily ever after really.........
While I cooked up a colorful stir fry on the stove to the noise of HBO always playing on our small TV. It was free in the apartment we rented so I never turned it off as I spent whole afternoons in the kitchen trying new recipes and baking cookies.
The very sound of the theme song for "6 Feet Under." my attention would be captured and I would zoom into focus on the new story line, for the characters I knew and loved as if they were from my own family!
These were the early years of my 24th and 25th year that I thought everyone should be watching this show! I talked about it so much that most people rolled their eyes but I saw something in this idea of facing death that I felt was a MUST KNOW.
We should ALL face the fact we are ALL going to die but we don't need religion, we don't need to waste time hiding or judging each other since we are all equally going to die we should equally talk about death from this show and see the importance of actually living a brave and wise life!
"6 Feet Under." has a certain style that I loved so much when watching on how we have our mind's eye conversation going on that no one can see but this show reveals that part of us all in a real captivating and shocking way!
I was hooked on the very first episode "The Pilot." it won me over instantly. I laughed so much over how we all want to say what we are really thinking but instead stay quite or in a social norm where no one really sees how we really feel.
Over the 14 or 15 years now this drama series has played a huge part in my life as I make references and just sit thinking about it.....When my best friend died suddenly I pictured her in a sun hat sipping a Margarita whenever she came to chat with me as she said that she has all the time in the world now to relax, I got this idea from "6 Feet Under."
It helped me smile in my sadness and in my constant slamming up the brick wall. I can't call her on the phone 3 times a day like I use to.....I can't chat online or see all her facebook pictures anymore. I can't split a pitcher of beer with her like we use once a week when she was my neighbor.
None of us get out alive, none of us can hide. So after the first season of "6 Feet Under." I was profoundly changed and knew I needed to face death in the bravest way possible, which was living a great life full of love, not distracted by God or by people's ideas of God.
In death I see peace, pure and simple peace.
I also scream at the top of my lungs consumed by rage in facing death for it ends the story that I was following, the story I knew so well!
Just like in this great show I see how important it is to talk about it fully honest and fully real!
Be your best self always,
Be your own truth and own strength,
Be your own honesty and be brave,
Be your breath and thought,
Be yourself. always and forever just be yourself when facing time as it leads right to death.
Let everyone else worry about what happens after you die, it was never in your hands to begin with.
Let the pain and loss, let the hurt and heart break just happen as you face the stone wall which claims everyone you will ever loved.
I have seen this wall time and again, always coming back to remembering the famous episode of "6 Feet Under."
Maybe one day I will know what's on the other side of that solid wall maybe then I'll get to be the one who yells out freely;
Last year I went to buy a Christmas tree after I had completely forgotten about setting one up the day after Thanksgiving when I was happily setting out all my other decor.
It shocked me that a 4 foot tree was 45 dollars!?!?
So I shopped around and it was 35 to 55 dollars in buying a real tree.
And since I only had 30 bucks in cash I put that towards Christmas goodies instead.
Then I went home thinking hard about how I could get my Christmas tree so I made a tree shape out of clothes hangers and wrapped Christmas lights around it.
I hooked it up into the window along side all of my other Christmas decor.
My husband Tony though it was pure genius!
He was very impressed as looking on from the road it looked like a tree in our living room window.
Of course, It was NOT the same thing to me as I sat starring at the triangle lights hanging in the window and only when I put the curtain down did look like a Christmas tree to me. Yet the fact that it was a hard winter, and I didn't have much money made my creative mind spark!
Now a year later in a new home I knew that I wanted a new tree, something to really look at and enjoy.....
Over the last couple of weeks I have been on a quest to find a Christmas tree under 50 bucks ever since one guy told me there was a tree shortage I have been thinking if my tree was fake then I could set it up right after Thanksgiving and it would be easier for me to handle on my own.
So I woke up the other morning to a note from my husband Tony who said he got me a Christmas tree and I was thrilled!
Putting this great tree together was a real puzzle, but I loved getting it all setup!
Ever since I saw the Harry Potter themed Christmas tree at the Festival of Trees last month I thought that I should do a Fantastic Beasts theme for my new tree in our new home?
I realize it'll take time of course to build up the decor if I do that....so maybe I'll just leave the tree as it is?
Yet I have learned over the years to not rush into anything, especially as I step back in admiration over the perfect looking new tree!
Here is Max Keiser once again, I love this guy! And I will always remember when I first heard of bitcoin back in 2009, I smiled saying "Well now, ...finally, Here it is! Our financial revolution! It's about time...." Of course back then I knew that we weren't rich enough to invest yet I still loved the whole new concept. Bitcoin is full of possibilities from what I could see and I spent many hours reading all about it as well, Good luck out there even now if you do get the chance to be apart of this movement!
Yesterday morning over coffee My husband said to me "You are a very smart person, you should give yourself more credit and more of a challenge to learn about this technology world that you always try to avoid." I choked on my coffee in my chuckling back at him shaking my head. For we had been discussing bitcoin of course so I defended myself with a big knowingly smile I explained to him "Well, it's a peaceful life to just knit and drink coffee with no technology no noise, and actually I have Max Keiser just a click away for all of that!" then we laughed at my cleverness.
While life happens sometimes all at once, the noise of everything takes my breath away at times.... I stand still for as long as I can. I cry for as much as I want. I laugh loudly whenever it's possible. I get it. I know it, for Nothing not a single dollar bill can give us back our youth or our time, it's just up to us in our choices for what is important. I'll hope to choose for what makes me smile and tip my hat towards a good life, well lived. I understand it in myself very clearly on what I count as success, so while not everyone will agree or feel at peace as I do for my simple life. I am proud of every single breath I have taken, every adventure I have enjoyed.
I now stand still to say "Slow down world. Slow down for it will always be there, something to do and something to see. Be still in the perfect second of time."
In our life stories we are learning as we live, as we are. It's important to never forget we are all on the same road of life together....... which means we should drive very carefully, ALWAYS.