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Thursday, April 30, 2015

Krishna Das - By Your Grace- Jai Gurudev

Wednesday, April 29, 2015

Days of Jazmin

 It came up so suddenly that I am dog sitting this huge beautiful puppy named Jazmin, Her owner is an older woman in her sixties so this 16 month old runs circles around her. I could sense instantly that Jazmin's owner is a sad lonely lady as we met for the first time. This happens all the time when people think a brand new puppy needs to come into their lives and help them not be so lonely, however what ends up happening more time then not is that adorable puppy grows up quickly while their new owner is still struggling in deep grief or pain. Then all kinds of behavioral issues unfold in which both companions struggle with each other.....This is the story for Jazmin, she is a wild one, more wild then I can remember ever dog-sitting before. 

By the end of this week I will have done all I could to help her yet I am not sure I can ever bring her back into my home since I am truly grateful to have such a utopia here with 3 old well mannered dogs and 3 old lazy cats.....These pets of mine look discussed and betrayed by the sudden craziness of Jazmin. I won't put them through this again, I understand now just being there for people can't always work when I have to dedicate my whole life (even all night long) to training a completely crazy puppy!

My husband isn't happy with me for not realizing the depth of stress simply dog-sitting would cause.  As Jazmin howls all night long and barks at weird lights or shadows on the walls I find myself worried over the mental state of this very bored easily excited puppy? As I sleep with her on my guest bed I see a need in her to please and to be with someone always but she is just so confused. Yet she will not settled down completely, she naps for an hour maybe and only really relaxes when she is riding in the car with me.

 I am working hard to keep her balanced and worn out. We walk for miles and climb up foothills, we walk all through downtown, go by the zoo and walk even run a bit by the Boise river. Her attention isn't devoted to me, she isn't aware of nature nor really sure what to think about chasing the ball in the dog park instead she bites her leg and tail, goes crazy barking and scratching at reflections of light on the floor. When it comes to meal time the word to describe her is INSANE.  There is no calming her down at the idea of food, she wildness even bites at my hand holding her dish and as I try to work with her there is something that snaps in her and she is GONE. I find this to be the most dangerous time with her of all! 
I wish I could figure out how to not get plowed over for her food? I wonder why she is crazy maybe she is starving as a growing puppy or maybe she fears this is the only food she will ever get? As I leave her in the guestroom to eat I realize one day that bad behavior over eating so fast and desperately could grow into a huge aggression.
In fact she is very aggressive I have been training her all the while she still does what she wants to do in a puppy cute manipulating dance, she knows what she is doing while she acts clueless. Her owner said she wasn't aggressive at all but instead very skittish. What I see is however is that she might not bite you or another dog until backed into a corner but she WILL do whatever she wants. I am a bit worn out taking care of her, I couldn't imagine being 30 years older trying to keep up and I wonder if Jazmin knows  she can out run, out wit and out last her owner? I am glad to walk with her for her beauty gets many people smiling, many people admire her. I love to have a reason to climb the foothills and to help her wear out, I like petting her once she finally sits down and I hope her life story is one that ends good for all I can do is watch over her this week and learn just how important it is to match your own life style to your dog, how no matter the sadness in life one should be healthy and strong if taking on a big puppy like her or else chaos unfolds.....Nothing can save us from loneliness or heart ache, being distracted by a dog full of energy however will make you realize how important it is to be ready for young blood and new adventures to make sure you can out run and out smart your newest family member in order to stay in charge and in control. Jazmin will no doubt calm down as this week goes by, she is already more aware of my commands but my family here will not miss her when she goes home on Saturday. 
It's a good reminder of how peaceful and calm my own "pack" really is if I were to forget and dog-sit a puppy again

Sunday, April 26, 2015

Days of Gratitude

Whenever my mother comes to stay with me, I feel more organized and ready for her stay. For each time she comes here to sleep in my adorable guest room full of rainbow colors and simple decor I am setup with things I learned I needed from her last stay. In my guest room while she is here I have a bright pink lamp, a green dresser with all her stuff on it beside her bed and on the right hand side where she can lay there reaching for a Kleenex or a sip of water. She has a baggie of celery sticks that help her from coughing so much as she chews them. In my guest room for her stay I have a tall fan on her bedside with 3 of 4 pillows all around to lift up and support hr paralyzed side. The fact that it's only 5 steps to bathroom is also very nice as we trek there several times a night. I keep my own personal stock of all the items she would ever need in my guest room closet, I wash all her dirty clothes through the day so she is never without and doesn't need to pack so much in the end. The fact she changes 3 or 4 times a day is all about how much she has sweated or traveled around. When I am with her I'm very grateful to have all these comforts for her, to have a long couch out in our living room for her to watch TV or read her book while my cats and dogs nap on her legs and feet. I am not far away in my kitchen cooking while she talks to me, I can easily roll her dinner table right up to her from the same couch and change her positions very naturally. As I space out each and every meal with setting her up right away with a salad or a fruit plate I cook away some kind of protein, usually I plan out a dish of fish or shrimp since my father doesn't like it and would never serve that in their home. Each late night has a fun berry dessert with yogurt or no sugar whip cream. I am all about making healthy foods for her because when she eats out she isn't concerned with that. I am truly grateful that I am strong and I am happy enough to help her. I can take her places and steady her balance in the shower. Wanting her to have as much comfort and fun as possible. It can feel tiring in the middle of the night as she gets so restless and vocal. I try to reason with her about sleeping in a bit longer as the gray morning walk to the bathroom has her excited to start her days in Boise. I can sleep at the drop of a hat when she is here, when I get her settled into the couch on a warm afternoon then she dozes off, I flop onto my messy bed or sleep directly below her on the living room floor. When she sleeps 4 hours straight I am THRILLED, I feel like I have renewed energy for her demands and activities once again. It's not easy to keep up on good sleep when my mother is around but I am grateful to understand how important and vital such sleep IS. These are the days of Gratitude when I can give my mother a good time, a healthy focus and a listening ear to all her sufferings.  I wish this had never happen to her, I wish she never had a stroke and I wish I had never known such trauma, but I can't change the past simply wishing it all back the way it once was, even though we weren't as close as we are now I still would of preferred her body whole and well, our time together maybe a few hours or maybe a few moments of argument back then. I remember it well, for she was always on the move, the run and the stress in her life to get it all done. Sitting over tea was a waste of her day back in her old self, now this week we sat for 3 hours at a coffee shop downtown sharing in all her memories and planning to make this summer a fun one for her too. I pushed her wheel chair downtown among old buildings and bright sunshine as she said "I use to go here, go shopping with my mother when I was a teenager! Back then this was the main street of traffic and it only took us an afternoon to see every shop in we would need a week to see all these stores again like that." I laughed out loud explaining "I wouldn't even try, you can get me into one or 2 shops then I would say time to sit down for lunch and walk through the city park now." My Mother replied "How are you going to find good deals if you don't look for them everyday?" I pushed on as she shared more old memories of her life thinking to myself that the best deal in life I am ever going to find is to enjoy my time on this earth, to enjoy my time with my mother and simply be grateful to be outside and grateful to be alive!

Thursday, April 23, 2015

Earth Day

Now I know I'm always saying that EVERYDAY is Earth Day for us living in such a BEAUTIFUL planet, but I also thought it was funny in this week of  the Earth day celebration I was covered in dirt from head to toe almost every night as the sun light disappeared :-)
Having my mother stay with me while my strong hard working brother Davey helped me get all my yard projects done has been truly successful and now the place looks so good for the soon to arrived Summer time! Happy Earth Day indeed for I've seen a lot of it lately and I LOVED every minuet too <3

Saturday, April 18, 2015

Stuff in Spring Cleaning

When it comes spring cleaning I wonder HOW did I get all this STUFF?
I love deep cleaning, getting my step stool and sweeping down the ceilings to wiping the walls to scrubbing the floor boards to mopping the floor. In each room there are bugs in the light fixture and in the floor vents I am always amazed at how much work cleaning is. How can I cook dinner when dusting 3 book shelves and each book? No wonder a place as huge as  "Downton Abby" had a person for every section of the home or else it would all fall apart!
My love for "The story of Stuff." has changed my life over the last decade and I am by far much happier in having more time for myself to delight in good fun things more then when I was younger working all the time to buy into that idea of "success".
The story of stuff will always be there so I have learned by saying "NO, I don't need that." or "my time using that is now over." I keep my home cozy and clean in an easy way, no storage fees or wasted time moving boxes from one room to another feeling overwhelmed or stressed out. I only own the items I actually use and every year for spring I clean out my home from winter hibernation in awe of all things gathered here.
Time to take charge of the social system in hounding us to buy their stuff, the whole system could be fixed if we put an end to money in politics and put money into our communities for a better quality of life. I love a fresh cleaned out home, AND I would love a fresh clean government too! So here's to "spring cleaning." out there :-)

Wednesday, April 15, 2015


Slowly in this new spring season I am noticing all kinds of flowers and blossoming trees, as I drive around day after day to get my husband to his classes and his office sometimes my elderly neighbor Bernice rides with me, especially if we are running to the store. (The only kind of shopping we like is the food and home store NOT the mall or any big department store.) Bernice exclaimed "Downtown Boise sure has changed since I stopped driving, not that I came down here much before it's just so different I am not sure where we are, I'm glad YOU are driving!" I chuckled back explaining where we were as the car moved on back up the hill to our homes and our quiet calm good life once again. Bernice exclaimed "Look at all these flowering trees, they are just so beautiful!" I told her we should plan on doing a picnic this summer and she can get out down by the river again. She suddenly remembered that's where her childhood farm was at least 80 some years ago before this area grew in like this. I sighed to myself thinking how it's always something about the past that makes me wish I was born then as she describes her kind father and beautiful landscape.....It's funny how fast our minds take us back in time, how our memories give us insight to the things we are dealing with today. Bernice has so many stories even some I have heard a few times over but I always love listening to them again for how else will I remember everything she is teaching me? When Bernice returned home after her back surgery and recovery in the summer of 2011 I lived next door and could go help her put her socks and shoes on every morning this is how our friendship began, every night I would take them off then help her to bed so she healed properly and recovered slowly from a walker to a cane to now walking just fine again. We go grocery shopping every couple of weeks and I can find her pretty easy after I run through my own list then I help hold all her coupons, I help her get to the check out and she always buys her dog a toy or treat. This winter she asked me to come clean for her once a week as she wears out quickly anymore. I truly LOVE cleaning like this, I love organizing and creating a place for everything to fit nicely and even stage it a bit for a cozy classy look! Sometimes she had big projects for me to work on all afternoon like storage or the pantry, these kind of days leave me dirty from head to toe but I sure enjoy the finished look! 
Slowly in this new spring season I am excitedly waiting for it to warm up more so we can garden together, Bernice who knows so much about gardening, about birds and trees. She still buys flowers and pots to fill her patio chair with color and beauty! And no matter what I am doing she  reminds me to sit awhile for a break and a nice long conversation over ice water or hot tea, I sure do love her friendship! I love how right now her whole yard is blooming and how much our friendship has grown over these last few years!

I am in complete AWE of where I live and how nice, how friendly my neighborhood is as I zip up my sweater to walk down the sidewalk happily thinking "These are "the Good old days" RIGHT HERE and NOW, I really do love my life, my home, my pets and of neighbors."

Tuesday, April 14, 2015

Finding the Sun


Yesterday I planted garden seeds wondering to myself "Is this going to grow in Full sun?" Because after all these seasons later finding the sunshine is how I've spent most of my time observing the outside world under my care.
Yesterday I saw worms, spiders, bugs of all kinds as I dug down into the soil. It comes together everyday looking better then the day before....I have a vision of walking pathways with colorful flowers greeting you along the way while also growing veggies and edible things in among that much needed sunshine! I am living in a house almost to big for me, almost to much for me to keep up on but outside is where I truly thrive!
My cats and dogs find soft grass or warm rugs to nap while I clean up around all the trees. It's been fun to live here, to share my guest room in entertaining and listen to great stories around the fire pit glow. The fact we are only a couple of minuets from the growing downtown with such a country side neighborhood full of  history and huge yards makes me proud to know it all so well!
Yesterday I turned on the water hose and gave all my fruit trees a drink, life will never slow down but we can choose to stop being so busy in order to see it unfold. The sun shine right now feels so warm and bright coming through the naked trees as they start to find their leaves. I love early flowers, cold crop veggies and no real big weeds yet.....finding the sun shine makes being outside, being a gardener even more wondrous!
My home has been an adventure taking on a different look here and there, I love spring cleaning it all this time of the year, knowing where every little thing is and what I still need to fix. With life always on the move, with cats that nap on my lap or dogs that sleep under the messy bedding I think over in awe how wonderful it is that we can all be together, we can all safely sit outside or simply go find the sun in our wonderful life!
Yesterday I thought over all my blessings, over all my delights as I hope to see it all soon grow more with that sparkling sun!

Sunday, April 12, 2015

Changing Times

This has been a busy week for me that I have to step back and actually taste the coffee......How wonderful is the future? For I am living IN the future already as I take my Mom out to lunch, garden my backyard, clean out the garage, take my neighbor shopping, get the dogs groomed and the cats fed their wet canned much needed nutrition....My life is in full force of activities and I am not complaining, I'm just reflective over the last 2 days of deep cleaning my husband's Mother's home. It surprised me greatly when they decided to sell and move from their huge home on the golf course, a home they had built as their retirement plan but it takes strong focus and constant gas to get out of the neighborhood just to find a grocery store even then it's very crazy to drive slowly getting onto Eagle road so when they are 80 years old I would be terrified of such a place. Changing times like this make me so happy because it really does get better in the future! Every home we live in plays a role into our life style and our income. 
As I cleaned the empty place I happily said goodbye to those old memories in these walls, even my dog Oscar never liked that huge space because we were not use to such high ceilings, whenever we headed home my husband Tony would laugh "Poor Oscar, you could tell he didn't like all that noise it echos off the walls and he kept looking down the hall like he was so scared." I giggled at the time of such change. 
Everyone has a different life story, Everyone has a different view on what it means to be successful or happy, my mother-in-law Jo Anne loved her new huge home for the perfect time in her life. A time she shared with friends and family because she had the actual space for as many as she would like over. I will always miss her patio home days when 6 people sat around the table peacefully and we felt like a real family back then, this huge home was much colder and hard to socialize in a personal way for me so as I wiped it down I wondered "Will we ever go back to being a family again once they move out?" Or maybe we are all older and wiser now with no time to pretend? It either will be good to start new family traditions or it will constantly be changing? Therefore I have to let it be, not what I WISH it was or what it had been but instead I need to let it be as it really is......My idea of family is defiantly different then from my husband and yet he likes that I am so dedicated to my idea even after all these grows, changes and dies off so quickly that any connection or memory of it become my most favorite part of life!  These are the parents and the people whom teach us what is important in life as we grow up and I am overwhelming grateful for even the hard distant times we go through with these people.
My father taught me even though it's not my "job" if something needs fixed then go fix it don't wait for help or for someone else to do it for you.
My mother taught me even though you do everything right or perfect it can all change so cherish each breath of life.
My father-in-law taught me that to joke around and laugh keeps you young.
and his wife taught me that being apart of a "Sisterhood" runs deeper then blood.
My mother-in-law taught me that to know yourself is very important no matter what, because it's easy to get distracted by other people's judgement if you aren't sure yet.
and her husband taught me it's best to stay out of the way of any family drama and simply enjoy a nice cigar.
Everyone has had or have parents with some kind of wisdom or tips they share from their own life stories, it can't be made so easy that to pick just one thing but I like everything about all the family in my life and I have learned sooooo much with adding more parents to my life after I got married. I like how different everyone is, the world is by far much bigger for me in seeing all these lives come and go. The truth is that maybe people chose to live in the same house for 50 years or maybe they chose to move around every 5, but it's not the home that makes the person who they are it is how their guest feel when they come calling. I feel grateful to say good bye to such a huge home, because that is how I felt in that place simply lost from one bathroom to the next looking for where all the people went....

My husband asked in alarm "Why are you crying?" as I drove us home to our cozy condo. I sighed wiping my wet cheeks realizing I couldn't hold them back anymore"Because now we'll never see them again, I know they are all so excited about their new mansion but I realize now just how they will be working full time, ALL the time in order to keep up on it, so we'll never meet up with them again not just for a drink because they won't have much time anymore. The fact is that I am sad over how times are really changing and we are clearly all growing apart.....maybe we were never that close to begin with but for me it was better back in their smaller home." My husband chuckled shaking "I'll never understand why you like "family time" so much, you are so cute and caring. But I think it's healthy to move on and keep changing with the times, they get to live the life they want and when I am their age I'll be doing the same, maybe not living in such a big space but maybe I'll be living in whole other country ya never know what motivates people in their middle life crisis and don't ya say it all the time? "Nothing last forever." so don't cry over the past thinking it's better then future when you have no idea how it all turn out in the end." I nodded back reflectively explaining "I just wish we could keep all the people we love within arms reach and fill our days with socializing memories of simply being together more." My hubby nodded saying back thoughtfully as I wiped my eyes "It's not the home, it's not the house that creates those things it's who you choose to have a relationship with."

I drove off with the golf course in my rear view mirror proud of leaving such a cleaned new home for the new buyer and knowing it all had something to teach me as I went, something I might not quite get right now but I am so happy to see it move on and to remember this year of the Brave and the New stories ahead!


Saturday, April 4, 2015

Easter Eggs

     The beautiful green grass grew across the golf course way out into the Boise river out lined by tall trees. The small slope up to my mother-in-law's huge house was where I was when she said "Debby can you go hide all of these Easter eggs for the kids? I have things to do in the kitchen." I beamed while setting down my cup of coffee exclaiming "Of course! I love this kind of thing!" The colorful plastic eggs full of money, candy and small toys were set all over the backyard that run down into the sidewalk. This neighborhood was big and new so the landscape was easy to reach the top of baby trees and bushes I ran around happily to setup the egg hunt.  
An hour later the twin girls Kasey and Avery were squealing and getting ready as I half hugged their brother Alex chatting with them on carrying their baskets. It was a fun late morning, the adults drank mimosas and ate omelets on the patio table while the race was on for the hidden and clearly seen rainbow colored eggs. Holidays are made far more magical with kids running around and laughing! I cheered them on, danced around and then sat on the floor in the living room counting their eggs and excitedly seeing what all was inside each colorful container! Being like a kid is far more fun to me now as an Adult for I have no fear in truly gleefully enjoying the colorful magical holiday! These kids are my husband's cousins born after he grew up of course and they are always such good kids, as the four of us sat on the floor together I noticed how kind they are to each other in sharing all their Easter eggs without being told to do this, how they celebrated with each other in their prizes instead of getting jealous or upset. I realized how our parents treat us when we are born is how we react as children. If you live in fear or chaos as I had as a small child then a simple Easter egg hunt turns badly, I remember a huge field covered in eggs my Father said "Go for the big ones, that's where the GOOD prizes are." my mother was telling my sister the same thing but I so little in understanding as soon as the race was on I went for the first egg I saw only to get trampled on with my Father yelling crazily after me to get up I was soooooo terrified when I finally found my feet again, I found my sister hitting a strange kid for taking her basket and the pure craziness of this memory makes me smile proudly over how nice and calm these kids were, One day soon I thought they will grow up, they will be teenagers not so interested in giggling over Easter eggs like this and exclaiming "LOOK! WOW! a whole dollar was in this egg!" we all zoom in to see "WOW!" we all exclaim and smile at the true magic I was able to hide all around outside on such a lovely spring day!

Friday, April 3, 2015

Live Freely with these steps!

Thursday, April 2, 2015

Easter Sunday

I remember it well for I was 15 years old, my beloved girls were talking about it and our whole church was decorating for it! Easter Sunday in Christianity is like a bomb going off in pastel colors and buckets full of lilies!
I remember it well this plan to have a sun rise service of worship starting at 7am instead of the usual 10am for my high school classroom. Since my mother knew how much I wanted to go she sent my father to take me, while she stay home with my baby brother and the other siblings until the usual 11am celebration of Easter. I asked my mom "Why can't I get a ride with Tiffany? She is going AND she is driving now....Then Dad can stay home too." My Mom frowned "No, It's dangerous to be in a car with a new driver, you can't ride with Tiffany until she has been driving for at least 2 years." I groaned over how OLD I would be by then and I worried over having to sit next to my father in public since his mood swings were so unpredictable I worried a lot back then.
7am we were the first 2 people sitting out in the wide open flied behind our church, for we had helped the youth pastor set up the cold metal fold up chairs and waited. I was in my new floral print dress with a lacy petticoat underneath feeling so excited to see my friends soon!
I had been arguing with my mother all winter long over wanting to wear my new white dress shoes, the ones I had bought back in the fall on sale with a tiny heel to them. For I was a REAL teenager now wearing  adult like looking shoes! But my mother forbid me to ever leave with them on because they were white and the color white isn't worn until Easter Sunday......I guess everyone but ME thought that. I argued "Why is that? Who said? It's cold and gray and dark all the time in winter so why not brighten up the season wearing new white shoes?" My Mom would causally be breast feeding whenever I caught her attention so she never had much interest in explaining things to me for very long and now that I was 15 years old I would hear her said "Stop TRYING to be difficult just because you think you should, you think that is what teenagers DO." I sarcastically reply "I just want to know WHY we do what we do....if you want a real teenager to challenge you just go talk to DANA." She would chuckle and shake her head as if I was being cute while tossing the fat baby into my arms and getting ready for church herself. I knew my mother was scared of everything back then, especially having 2 head strong girls who were nothing alike, not ever.
The 7am turned into 7:30am as people started showing up my father mumbled towards me "Why say 7am if no one will show up? THESE are YOUR friends remember that." I nodded trying to ignore him without pissing him off. I hugged the girls all dressed in floral new dresses and bright white shoes too. Tiffany had REAL heels just like her mother always wore and I admired them so much of course! We sat there in a row of four, for our Sunday school class room was nicely connected and intimate like this, I felt so safe, so happy and so loved by those girls in those very really years of womanhood.
We sat facing the west so that the morning sunlight would not blind us as we sang and study the bible passage of Jesus rising from the dead. By the end of that day we would cover such a story over and over again until we had it memorized. My beloved friends parents sat all around us, yet it was that moment in prayer we four girls locked arms and hands in 4 different spring dresses and in four different colored sweaters welcoming in Easter Sunday!
I sat between my father and my theatrical friend Tiffany while Rebekah leaned in on her other side and Jennifer jumped up to play her violin. I remember that day most of all because of the chilly cold and wet grass as the rays of sunshine shot through east warming us all up slowly.  Tiffany gasped in after Jennifer's music ended "This is the most beautiful morning of my life! Jesus has risen just like this sunlight! We have hope again!" she grabbed my arm closer to her as I smiled back whispering  "And I LIVE for such hope as that everyday!" The girls all laughed together as they leaned into each other while my father just rolled his eyes and I knew it was a magical morning to never forget!

Tiffany sat across from me at the restraunt 20 years later saying "Where did we LIVE that everything was so magical back then? I feel like it's so hard to find now that kind of wonder in the world." I chuckled nodding back explaining "WE chose to see the wonder and awe of God for ourselves, we didn't have a choice so we made the best of it together, WE were beloved girlfriends and supported each other fully......yet as things changed as we grew up WE still carried the fire and wonder inside of us. God may or may not be, but WE were REAL and our friendship was REAL at least to me....." Tiffany cried leaning into me "How did I keep such a good friend as you all these years?" I chuckled back handing her my napkin feeling so reflective by her side again "Because WE chose to stay close, we are never in control of the world but we are in control of who we trust and love, I would of been a very jaded teenager if you hadn't been in my life full of imagination and magic!" Tiff laughed out loud now wiping her eyes exclaiming "Well then, Here's to having Hope again in our lives!"

Wednesday, April 1, 2015


While I pushed my mother through the store strolling along with her wheelchair and chit chatting like always, she had me stop suddenly "How much are these?" she asked I moved around reading the prices on those computer screens. She said "Pick some out for you and your sister, I'll put them in your Easter Baskets." I laughed shaking my head over how it will never end. It will always be from one holiday to the next that my mother wants to go shopping and finds gifts for her grown children. Even the grand kids will be teenagers still getting gifts from my mother because that is her hobby, her traditions and her way of life.
I get discourage sometimes trying to keep her from spending to much, knowing that in every penny saved my father would be proud of me or at least thankful that I am not a shopaholic as well. It's my mother's focus to go out and spend his hard working money in order to get back at him for always being at work. In which no one wins through such a battle, NOT spending all his money would allow him to finally take a day off and simply be at home with her like she really wants.......yet when I explained this to her a year before her stroke she freaked out on me and got so upset saying "I'm not going to wait around for him to finally stop working all the time! I'm going to have FUN with his money instead!" I chuckled shaking my head knowing exactly why she felt that way, then after her stroke she filled her shopping cart with anything and everything she saw or wanted that was a true moment of things have all changed in her as my father even showed up to help us not spend 300 dollars on clothes that clearly didn't fit her to begin with.....LIFE is an adventure for us all, my father is always running the numbers in his head, always feeling panicked to get back to work or stay on his phone until he has his jobs under control. He gets annoyed and worn out dealing with my mother now as we reach 4 years since her brain trauma. 
My Mom insisted "Pick some hand towels,I like this one." I handle through the Easter towels reading "Hello Spring!" stitched into the fabric. I smiled explaining "I am always saying this! It's such a fun exciting time of the year to get back into spring." My mother nodded then dug through her purse for coupons, I helped her out with my extra hands thinking to myself how different her life is from mine in that I never like using coupons, never like hanging out in the mall or never like walking through each aisle of a store all afternoon long. 
My Mom and I ate lunch together again, enjoying the warmer weather and planning on how to decorate the gifts baskets when we got back home. She explained "I just don't want to run out of time in getting these done, I feel so frustrated when Easter arrives and I don't have everything PERFECT." I chuckled replying "You say the same thing a about Christmas, doesn't it get expensive year after year?" Mom replied "I told your Dad to sell some land for extra money." I choked on my water glass and explained back "Just for Easter Baskets???" She giggled explaining "Noooooo, for traveling and well, everything I want to do!" I shook my head at her saying "If you saved your money for only one holiday celebration then you would have some for doing the fun things you would like." She shared "When I was normal I went to the stores whenever I wanted and bought stuff on sale all year long! AND I got some really great deals and good stuff too! But now I never know when I will be in the store again so I better buy it right now or I'll be kicking myself later for not grabbing it when I could!" I nodded drinking my ice water listening feeling a bit worn out by her shopping hobby. "Maybe our next shopping trip could be at garden center and we could plant some flowers around your cottage?" I suggested quickly Mom frowned shrugging "I guess, it's hard for me with just one hand to garden anymore." I pipped up "I would help you of course." realizing as we talked just why we were stuck in going shopping every time I came to see her...because she didn't struggle with her parallelization when strolling along all the holiday displays! It made sense now with me as I've been trying change our habits together.
I kindly said to my mom "We'll sit outside more now the weather is nicer and I want to take you to the Botanical Gardens where we could stroll through so many garden wonders!" Mom smiled "That could be fun maybe!" I laughed at her sweet honesty, HELLO SPRING!