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Monday, January 30, 2017


                I have always loved the drums, I even have a book on how to play the drums yet I never made the investment for actual lessons. I think that is why I LOVE Pound Class so much!
 And I have tried Tibo back in the day, got really into Zomba for awhile and still love yoga.
But it's drumming that has me so thrilled to get back into shape again, this has been a very cold and snowy winter I am ready for a bit more sunshine and a bit more movement again.....
Going to Pound Class helps me stay moving and feeling very alive after getting all warmed up!
I love moving the sticks to the music while trying to keep up with everyone else in the studio.
Drumming out frustration over politics or religion, over dramas and traumas helps me feel very strong in the end. 
I can be both playful and skillful in learning how to pound.
I can meet new people and feel so encouraged with all of us as a group making noise and dancing together.

It's simply a good time learning how to drum away the afternoon!

Sunday, January 29, 2017

Pound Class

It was the last Wednesday evening in September I sat outside with my friend Sandy waiting for Carol to join us, as we enjoyed the nice weather next the to Boise River and watch those walking the Greenbelt. It was beautiful every where I looked from around the Coiled winery.

Boise Idaho in late summer, early fall is truly breath taking as it's nickname is the "city of trees."
Sandy sighed happily saying getting out of the house to be with her "sisters." is exactly what she needed.
I told her that I saw a video on the internet that Melissa, Sandy's daughter shared about Pound Class. This was going to be my first time at it, I was very very excited! Moving drum sticks to music while stretching and dancing looked totally AWESOME!
The 3 of us sat inside getting ready, in a moment of pure beauty I catch sight of our drumming instructor and I was impressed at how strong she looked, with the most perfectly shaped arms I have ever seen! Her long hair moved with her as she began teaching all of us how to hold the sticks and how to stand.
There was something very intriguing about her confidence and kindness, I was thrilled to drum, to dance and to enjoy the music!
I was laughing at times with Sandy as we had to stop to catch our breath!
The movements, the exercise and the empowering feeling of being a "rock star." was creating such a MAGICAL night! ......and I was hooked on Pound just like that!
That night with a glass of wine, cooling down outside to the wonderful smell of the Boise river we visited, we met new ladies and chatted awhile in winery.
I loved meeting our instructor, her smiles, encouragement and jokes were truly wonderful I didn't feel intimidated, I like her instantly! 
It was even more important to me in learning something new that night, to get myself moving and stretching a bit more through the beat of music!
I LOVED it ALL that night! It was fun to meet Amanda with her sparkling beauty, with the heat in my legs and arms from pounding it out to fun songs, to laughing and sweating with Sandy and Carol! Meeting new people, trying new wines and enjoying the familiar sight of the ending summer time!
While Sandy's daughter Melissa was visiting for Christmas, we all went to Pound Class together and had such a fun workout! I told her that she was the one who first shared the video that really stuck with me and got me into Pound!
I was thrilled to enjoy my birthday yesterday at 28th Street Barre & Soul for Pound Class with Amanda.
It's fun to see how attending class regularly has helped me get better at it, at actually holding the rhythm and getting such a good lovely sister-in-law surprised me at the door of the studio and we enjoyed the class together for my 38th birthday!
And there is nothing in the world like pretending to be a drummer or feel like a rock star for my birthday!

Friday, January 27, 2017

Tour the States - Official Music Video

Since life flies by, I have been thinking about how much fun it would be to take a new adventure. I love road trips with a clean car, packed up nicely. New car tires and new break pads as the music plays while I drink my hot coffee travel cup and have a cozy sweater to wear until I get hot in the afternoon then I enjoy my tank top. Traveling can be stressful if you aren't prepared correctly, so I plan everything out for as much as I can. 
I love when I get into the mountains, when I get on the road with the landscape changing from the city line to the wilderness. To see such nature all around me, while I am cruising on through to somewhere magical and new! 
America has always been great in such beautiful land, full of all kinds of animals and rivers. 
We have grown in population to it's demise, we need to teach the next generations to have that magical awe and respect for the land and to help them see what wonders that are out there in this beautiful land!
As long as we can see what a treasure this earth is then we can keep it safe and healthy.
We can live within our means, within our resources and honor the land in the much needed respect and protection that it needs.
I love that feeling on a road trip, the gas and oil I am using to get somewhere is apart of the problem yet it brings the whole world of wonders right before my very eyes within hours!
How magical is every little things happening at the same time? How exciting it is to get out into nature, to the ocean and wide open skyline? How perfect is the night sky above the evergreen trees in natural darkness?
There is the call of the wild, the call of true strength and the importance in the survival of our human society. Once we learn how to balance everything, it's a beautiful picture of all that is living.
It's awe inspiring to see all that we are and all that we can be! 

Thursday, January 26, 2017

I walk this way for every woman

Some women do not think they are oppressed, they think they have it really good and that is true in comparison to some countries around the world. But it is because of the woman's movement and suffragettes that made this nation honestly great with the right to vote for EVERYONE,  We can't forget their battle and their bravery. We can't stop the fight to allow equal rights for EVERYONE in every situation and every story of our society in this freedom focused proud to be American country. I am also very proud to be a woman! .....always and forever very proud!

 May the circle be unbroken by and by......

Tuesday, January 24, 2017

The Life of Women

I know why I marched on Saturday and I know why I support my sisterhood in all the different women from my community. 

The life of a Woman has been a struggle for hundreds of years, we have come a long ways in standing up and fighting back, in changing our stories, in being able to have control over our own bodies, We can vote, we can own land and we can choose to get married or not. 

 I am grateful and proud to be a woman, my mother gave me her mothering qualities, her soft arms and sweet smile. My mother gave me lots to think about and learn from her own world view. I take so much more from my mother then just all of her good things, I see her struggle and her judgmental opinions as food for thought, helping me to debate back with her in better ways. My mother used to say "Women should never of been allowed to vote, it was the beginning of the end for good families to be raised, because now women think themselves better then men and don't stay home anymore! They don't cook good food for their families anymore too...all because we won the vote, we lost everything God wanted for us in being a good women."
I replied "I completely disagree, raising good families should be equal responsibility from the mother and the father, let the Dad bake up some cookies and stay home to help support his spouse if she is really good at her job." My mother gasped and shook her head at me helplessly for she could see I wasn't following in line with what women SHOULD do, what they can and can't do. I will always remember the hundreds of conversations like this I had with her.
She and I came form different generations, and I would not be put into motherhood, into a marriage that I didn't have a say for how things will go for my life.
I have such thankfulness to my mother being from the opposite side of all these issues for women, because it made me even more zealous and determined that women have equal rights with men, that everyone works TOGETHER for the same needs in their society. I perfected my arguments and set up my own platform for women's right in my teen years from having the kind of mother that I did, she and I went round and round she had more bible verses then me in our discussions. But I knew in my heart as a woman myself there was far more out there for the female gender then raising a perfect family, yet at least we should all have the choice to be who we really are.
I tip my hat and say "Thank you." from the bottom of my heart to all these brave women listed here
AND to my mother who gave me this life and kept me on my toes!
I say to her with so much love "Thank you Mamma, Thank you for helping me find the courage I now have to change our world....I will always fight on!"

Why we marched.

Monday, January 23, 2017

Sideways - The Life Of Wine

This is one of my favorite scenes, where Maya captures the romance in this clip from the movie "Sideways." 
I will always remember how fun it was to see this in the theater, It was so real life, so cleverly put together with the crazy scenes of their adventures and laughing as we watched on in relating to the fact we all have that one friend who gets us into trouble at times!
As it ends with such beauty and kindness that I love still after all these years,  for it reminded me of our wine tasting vacations, the time in my life when we own 6 copies of this film for gifts or for loaning it out.....Because we loved it so much, the vineyards are beautiful in this movie. It shares with us how Wine is magic from the grapes, the beverage of romantic sunsets, holidays and celebrations! We bring a part of history into our lives as we pour a glass to enjoy!

Sunday, January 22, 2017

Walk this way

Around the election just a couple months ago I was setting up a woman's wine class, with a display on how all the steps in wine making work together to create so many varieties and new wineries opening up all around us. We studied the map on our Snake river wineries, we did a tasting of our local wine bottles and shared in such a magical night of supportive sisterhood.

It was there that the talk came about a Woman's march in January.
I was excited to see all of us coming together to support each other, not to let some bully for our new President get to say what we woman can or can not do.
We saw this movement yesterday, nation wide it was BIG and it was AWESOME!
The constant reminder that no matter what the Government says, no matter how corrupt the politicians are. We are a society, a local community who sees the value in paying attention to our nation's federal level in a new 4 years that we follow all the activities, that we demand our state capitals and local government to respect us, to work for us. The messy chaos after the election leaves us all feeling stressed or worried about our future, I have said this quite often that we are stronger when we stand together. 
Women who love, who support and who comfort give way to stronger people in their communities.
Women who don't play games, don't bully and don't hurt others stand up for a better world, one of true beauty that the price tags in all the magazines can't sell us.
Women who know how to teach, to listen and to cry with those around them, Women who heal, who grow and who feed their families sharing in magical friendships and pure joy of all that is living, THOSE are the women who change the world!
Walking with these women and with my local community made me so proud yesterday.
I felt like it's just a small act to walk and talk, to hug and to love!
To bundle up and to stand side by side in the pouring wet snow, I was in awe that I wasn't alone, that a few months ago in getting ready for this day....I was right in how important this protesting marching was going to be! 
It was a joyful day to celebrate being a woman!
It was a gift to the new generations that says we will fight for your freedom and we will not be bullied!
The world of women is changing, it's going back to the roots in being real and honest....and to not be worried over the roots of our hair but in the quality of our character.
This is change, this is hope in that we will support each other as the wonderful mystical magic full of love ladies that we are!
Woman's march      

Friday, January 20, 2017

Every Woman

It has always been my favorite time spent in a group of women for as long as I can remember!

I loved when my Mother and her sisters gathered together in the bedrooms of my Grandparents to talk and laugh together away from the men and kids. I loved how lacy my life was a little girl in ruffles and thrills. I looked forward to my bible studies with all the ladies from my church growing up, with my girlfriends and I in slumber parties over "Anne of Green Gables." movies.
In getting ready for weddings, as we young women helped with hair, flowers and make-up. We supported each other as women in so many ways, and I carry that desire and fire in me ALWAYS.
Every woman is very important to me, even the catty bitches or game players out there....I can handle myself so much better with them knowing I have an endless sisterhood all round me in goodhearted and kind women! 
I am never alone in the female world, and I am truly grateful! 
We have so much to give to our communities and our societies, to better the world for the next generations and to be there for every newborn with the joy and love that womanhood gives us!
Every woman holds the key for a successful and happy family, every woman holds the earth within her hands and can breath magic into her life time stories!
The laughter and love, the friendship and understanding is the true value in the world of women, I find see it for myself the glory of the girls being together in unconditional love!
Every woman is able to give back to the society, to teach the children not to hate.
To save the day and change their fate!
Every woman is a powerful wild force for good or for bad, I loved how my life was blessed by ALL the women even the bitches to teach me how to live stronger and dream bigger!
To every woman I know, I am sending out loves and hugs, I am sending out my thankfulness to know you and to love you!
March On tomorrow! March on!

Wednesday, January 18, 2017

Every Day

This is a crazy time to watch almost President Trump come into office, I like what I was reading in Jon Katz blog once again, he is a profound thinker, writer and creator of his beautiful life on this earth! I will always admire him and his ideas as his blog goes and as his life unfolds I get to be a part of it in my own cozy corner in my home with my coffee cup, I can think about all these things that I agree with him about.

"I see no purpose in arguing, complaining, railing or lamenting the next four years. I want more out of life than that."

This is a crazy time for change, or for unrest....uncertainty, but then again the future is always unknown.
I live my every day life with the peace of mind that I am not stuck in this moment forever, that I hold my own world in my very own hands, so how do I want it go? How would I like it to be? 
And What is very important to me? I am the storyteller for my least for my part, I wasn't aware at the beginning and I won't know the end but for what I hold in my hands I can share!

How beautiful is the strength of all women?
How beautiful of them giving birth to a new generation always cycling through life stories!
How strong are we as a society all together? Will we be tested in the next 4 years to find out?

If we don't live in fear then we can get so much more done in our every day! No one else gets a say in how we choose to create our lives, our short time on earth.

James Blunt - Shine On (lyrics)

                               It's snowing right now, so I have to think happy thoughts of sunshine, and hope!
I am sore and cold, I am frustrated by the limitation of icy roads and how often my little car gets stuck in all this crazy snow over the last 2 months,  and I hardly want to ever leave home because of all the troubles that could happen.....

I turned to my dog Oscar saying "One morning we will wake up and it will be spring time again, I promise!"
He moans and groans, limps and cuddles with me as this cold has him very moody and very old in some ways....I love all my cats and all my dogs as I make sure each one has good foods and fresh water, with blankets right out from the dryer, nice and warm. We all survive closely together these days in hoping to see the seasons changed again soon and melt all this snow away!

My husband just said "This has been the perfect winter to study for the BAR exam, no distractions and no desire to go out."

I make a second pot of coffee and wish to see a glimpse of sun light again, I'll just sing along to "Shine on." I guess......

Monday, January 16, 2017

My Caring Cousin

It has been such a big part of my life now, having a wonderful friendship with my Cousin Trina.

She was like my "big Sister." when I was born. Since our parents came together for family dinners and events we played. We grew up very close in age, in family and in our similar interest.
 She was always teaching me about what was really going on, always give me a little gift every time we had to part. Since I lived 8 hours away, we wrote letters and sent cards, pictures and the occasional phone call. I admire her always in my childhood and relied on her help in my teenage years. 
We were always friends not just family, after her daughter was born our Papa Rudy passed away so I didn't see her for a while as motherhood kept her busy and as I learned to live in my first apartment.

The wonders of social media helps me find her again, and brings her into my world of today!

She is now a mother of 3, with a farm to run and a best friend for her husband, we can talk an easy 2 hours over the phone if we both make the time in the late evenings or early afternoons. I have been trying to go see her in person at her busy lively farm for years now.....

While my own critters and my own husband going through law school has kept me home bound when I would love to hit the road and see her beautiful face! Embracing our friendship and our strong "sisterhood." that makes me realize who I am today comes from so much she has taught me while I was growing up!
and while I enjoy connecting with her through facebook and her blog:

I know that in all these days of wishing I could run her a huge pot of my homemade soup, my extra help or my many baked goods.
I know whenever I arrive, whenever I have reached her I will be overwhelmingly grateful and I will always admire her caring kind heart that has always been there for me!
She is wise and wonderful in her farming life, she is the first animal lover I have ever met in my whole life!
Everything I am still learning about nature and the wild is made even more magical because I can chat it up with her! We have a family history that means so much to me, we have a life long friendship that I am ever so grateful to have! And we have so much in common just in general, with our lives of living side by side to all of God's creatures and nature....we support each other, encouraging each other to carry the fire of warmth and love ALWAYS! 
She is one of my most favorite people in the whole world, I love everything about her just as she is.
Our adventures began when we were just little kids, now we laugh when we remember and when we react to things happening in our society we more often then not agree or share the same common sense. It is always so much fun for me to see our family traits both good and bad in ourselves that we share with each other how we are living our lives right now!

My caring cousin Trina is one of the bravest, strongest souls I have ever met! I am left in awe of her in so many ways, I am grateful to know her and love her so much!

Whenever I see her I smile again and we talk like no time was ever lost between us!

Whenever I share about how women should support each other, how we should be there no matter what.... I think of my caring cousin Trina who called me everyday when my mother had a stroke. 
My heart is grateful to have such a loving cousin as amazing as Trina!

"I broke my knee, I broke my knee.......Almost!"

Sunday, January 15, 2017

My Amazing Aunts

I have many aunts, some really amazing and some very difficult, I like them all with a bursting heart of grateful joy to have them teach me so much about sisterhood and what it means to be a woman both in difficult situations or playful adventures!

My father's 4 sisters were the first women in my life who gave me the greatest gift of friendship and love!

And I am grateful for their guidance and their wisdom in my life! As I reconnected with them again almost a decade ago in my adulthood, my life was made so beautiful and magical by their loyal love!

    These women gave me such gifts, such joys and such wonderful friendships! I shall always be thankful and in awe of their great beauty!
My Aunt Chris, My Aunt Kaisie, My Auntie Val and My Aunt Veta (Aunt Vee)  
These are my Amazing Aunts! Women of such wisdom and grace! 
I am so glad to know them, and happy to have such love in our laughter and in our time together!

Saturday, January 14, 2017

Every Woman

 "I have the face of a peach!" I declared out loud to my roommates as we were putting on make up for a girls night out, we laughed and began to compare our 3 bodies in the mirror making fun of ourselves with laughter and with confidence.
While the 3 of us stood side by side we were one head taller then the other I was in the middle in my "roley poly" body, while one stood tall, slim with a long chin line and to my other side a smaller face with big eyes looked back at all of us with a smile.
We were so perfect in this moment, and in that moment at midnight when we ran around our backyard naked in the rain hand in hand!
With only our thong undies on I wore red pair while they had purple and black even our butts were shaped so differently as we huddled together then race around arms out giggling so much!
We were young women, and we were happy with our bodies after having made so many jokes about them and realizing our "self talk." wasn't helping us be better and happier in our bodies so we faced our fear and ran out in the rain storm that cut the power all around us!
For each of us had such a different shape body, such a different taste in clothing and hair styles but we saw how beautiful we were just as we are, as long as we reminded each other what we saw in each other.

Every woman has to find herself among the judgement of society, if you can have a sisterhood that helps support you then it can really change your own mind's eye of what is beautiful.

The roley poly woman is very endearing to the memories of a Grandma or a comforting mother, for some men it's even a sexy shape that has them smiling happily from ear to ear when embraced......but the magazines, TV commercials and actual clothing sizes don't always support the healthy, happy woman.

Once we learn how to break free from those stereotypes we can change the whole world and give our daughters of the future a better body imaged loved by all! 

My mother use to put me on a diet, or make me go on walks around the farm with her as she said "You can't get fat until you are married. You are way to young be a size 14." I smiled humorously back at my very worried mother in saying "If my husband doesn't love me for just how I am then I am not meant to be with him, chance are I am with the WRONG guy!....and Food is the best thing in the whole world I will not miss out on it." I kept laughing because ever since I was little my mother worried about my weigh for me so I didn't have to, at the same time she was an amazing cook! Apple pie was always on the shelf at home too.....
My mother sighed as if I didn't understand her advice, I realized while we walked side by side that we looked at things so differently.......that every woman has to struggle with liking herself if taking in all the other advice and judgement out there!

Be there for ALL women in every size! and change the story about what society says is how a woman should look!

Friday, January 13, 2017

Every Issue

It is crazy to have a new President who says horrible things about women and threatens our freedoms. I am hoping for the best with Trump but I am not holding my breath as well, I know he is more likable then even I can understand, but I also know that he can not change our reproductive rights, our sexual safety and our equal pay rights in our careers. 

Women have been fighting for their right to vote and hold office, to have the proper medical care and maternity paid leave. It's a complicated world for a woman who wants to be a mother and an entrepreneur, who wants equal rights, equal respect. 

You can read the platform for this march coming up on Saturday January 21, 2017.

Here is the link to read about it more ; 
Women March on Washington and around the nation.

Thursday, January 12, 2017

Every Woman

                    This is a powerful year of women supporting each other, of being there for real depths of love and friendship! I am in awe of all my new friends and also of all my old friends, because each and every woman is teaching me something about what it means to be the best I can be.

In my Gaia Circle, in my Book Club and in my sisterhood, I see all kinds of AMAZING women! My heart is bursting forth such gratefulness and joy, these women support each other in kindness, and in love.

I am in awe of every hug I get and every tear I share with these women, we are of all ages, we are of great strength and great understanding of joy in being there for each other.

There is a different world out there where women are mean to each other, where they judge and compete with each other and hold grudges against each other but I do not socialize with those women any more. I am free from that kind of world of women, I always have been but now I take an even bigger step against them....They are welcomed in my presence only if they behave, only if they are kind too. Once they aren't I simply walk away from them after sharing a better way to live with each other....they may not take it to heart, but at least I learned valuable issues from them and their negativity.

If women who were easily jealous, easily rude and mean changed their heart after seeing how good it is to have true soulful sisters then I would welcome them with open arms! I would be wise in knowing they could pull some old drama they have lived by their whole life but I wouldn't keep them from learning a new way to live.

Friendship takes work sometimes, learning that every woman has her own stories and her own fears helps me listen even better to what I can do in holding their trust and encouraging their best self to come forward.

I have been this way since I was a little girl with a mother who played every game in the book on using her womanhood for personal gain. I will always remember when I told my mother "Just say what you really want. It's easier on those around you to know exactly what you are thinking when you just say it as it is."
I was a very direct 15 year old, I am sure she grew so annoyed at me because I didn't take her advice on becoming a woman in all things.

As I grow older my world of women is so full WONDERFUL souls! I am ever so grateful and in awe that even my mother and I are such good friends now!

Being Kind goes such a long ways in making a new friend so easily, in keeping the old friends for life! As women we are called to help each other in all things from child birth to pushing the wheel chairs around, this is the life force I get to enjoy! I get to be there for the most magical women of my life time!

New generations can have a better future, a better sisterhood that endears us all to such a wonderful lasting friendship!  The world is made even more beautiful with courageously caring women and I know so many of them personally <3

Sunday, January 8, 2017

Feeling Funerals

              It will always be part of life, death.

It will always surprise us when it happens to someone we know and love.
It will always remind us that our own death is down the road too.
Feeling out funerals, knowing when to speak or when to listen, feeling the hugs and the tears. Supporting each other in true honest real love and loyalty, such as in family or with your best friend.

Feeling out the dramas, the unresolved issues and the history of everything in moments of being together in suffering such a great loss, is all apart of death and leaving the living behind to deal with the aftermath.

I remember being 22 and 23 when my grandparents passed away, in the ceremonies I learned new things about them because just like with myself they had layers of hobbies, interests and adventures before I was ever born to pay attention to them, this got me thinking about all humans in their different roles they are taking on. As the end of their lives come about they have so much more depth, so much more emotional facts to their history then just when I would hang out with them.

I remember realizing that it takes practice and patience to listen to another person share about their life, to be there for them is learn more about them. To face whatever struggle they have with compassion and calmness is what I learned so very young in my life. 

My first funeral to attend that I can really remember, was when I was 15 years old when my mentally challenged Great Uncle passed away. I realized how I could of done more for him, just by sitting with him chatting about nothing would of been nice. I felt a huge sense of responsibility suddenly by his death....He was hidden from society on our farm and I could of been a better friend I think looking back, it was the beginning for me to realize how short our lives are.
AND that Life isn't always about just ourselves, like being so "busy" or distracted in doing whatever we want....
That process changed me so profoundly seeing how this family member died cut off from the world and I didn't really ever know him at all.
It was deeply sad for me in wondering what can I do better next time someone is dying?
So in some ways that experience made me wiser and more aware how all lives will come to a end, so how we treat each other right now matters greatly. In other ways I was freaked out about death and going to hell I spent hours and hours in prayer at the age of 15 hoping to avoid the eternal damnation that my church or my parents talked about.

When my best friend's father passed away, she and I talked for a long time about how ridiculous funerals can get. People throw themselves out there in crazy ugly crying or they act like the person who die was a saint. a god or a superhero....these are the common  theatrics of funerals and while you are sad, while you are hurting being aware that everyone processes differently helps in dealing with the crazies.
She told me that this is the part she hates so much trying to put a ceremony together that reflected the real person in death not just all the expectations of their family members still living.  
It's a tricky situation, I know for all my funeral stories and for all my observing people under such stress or grief, they cling to a belief system or a certain idea of who the person was to them in desperation or in bullying which makes any common sense fly right out the window!

I also understand most people have good intentions, but they are very uncomfortable or awkwardly rude in a funeral ceremony, I tried to keep in mind this could be their first time attending something like this......?
 Just as I had to learn my own pathway through honoring the dead, they too will learn as they go.  I do better in my raw grief if I can remember to not take it personal, living with grace in such a time as death's hurting sting is also very important to me from all my own suffering.

There will always be more to the person we lay to rest, more then even the funeral director can share in one hour's ceremony. 
There will always be drama among the living, the ones who want to control everything and the ones who have given up completely.
The balancing I have learned about when it comes to putting a funeral together or showing up for support in one, is that I have to evaluate my own reactions, base my coping/caring steps carefully from what I first FEEL when arriving to the suffering scene of sadness.....(Feeling is the key to having good guidance in what to do.)
There is no one rule book fits all in order to help out or deal with death. I think that I am getting better with every one I have to attend, but it's never ever easier and it's never ever perfectly staged.

Life is always moving forward, every one sees through their own eyes about right and wrong so I have learned feeling out what they request of me is all I can do.

Being still and knowing my breath will one day end too helps me hug a crying soul beside me as my own tears soak up around my neck. Our final "Goodbyes." to those we love, to those we were so close to and to those we want to see again but can't, death teaches us how to really live in the end.

Death teaches us to sit with those not here for much longer, and just listen.

Death teaches us that it is not all about ourselves in the end....

Death teaches us to not fear being alive and to have the courage to take on a new adventure! To choose to be brave since our time is very very limited after all.

Death teaches us how we don't have all the answers to what will happen to us after that so we take it on faith while we still breath and think about it some more.

Life and death are the biggest teachers for our heart, mind and souls......for however it should go, I can only try to feel my way through it and do my best!

Saturday, January 7, 2017

Iron Jawed Angels - Parade In Washington

Thursday, January 5, 2017

Get ready for the Women!

              It's happening this month here in my own city of Boise, Our ladies marching to the Capitol.

Because we will not allow a New president take away our rights as women.

We will not be bullied or live in fear of the future!

WE will walk together, stand together and support each other as the strong sisterhood society that we are!

Read all about this Marching Event coming up this month, so for here in Boise Idaho I have a personal group going with me on Saturday, January 21, 2017. Come along with us if you want!

My home will be the place to share in more coffee and bundle up for this inspirational event as we travel together to be apart of history and unity!

With a new President like Donald Trump, whose distasteful behavior towards women has us alarmed and annoyed, we will be brave and be smart in standing up against him if we have to.....Hopefully after this marching of the women he will take notice of us not allowing him to take away our rights.

With courage I see how this kind of empowerment creates a better future for all!

Get ready for the Women!

Wednesday, January 4, 2017

Sting - Fields of gold

......Or for today "Fields of SNOW." with recorded breaking inches covering the ground I am not going out today at all and all my pets seem happier for it too <3

I love this song, reminds me of singing it to myself while driving to work in cold windy lightly snowy days, on my way to Mack's fruit stand at the age of 19. Even though it was winter we stayed open in the garage like building selling bananas, eggs and milk. With rows of can goods, 50 pound bags of potatoes and rice I loved my 8 to 5 job in visiting with local customers and lifting 25 pounds in pinto beans into their trucks!
Simply by listening to this song again I am taken back to my favorite hard working job! 

as I walk in fields of memories today.......

Tuesday, January 3, 2017


It's a new year so naturally I have to share Jon Katz's blog Bedlam Farm.
   His shares how people react to him saying "Happy New year!" and I have experienced more fear from people then ever before, Trump is going shake up the nation, and while I won't ignore his next 4 years, I also won't let him steal my sunshine. He is a rich old man who has nothing in common with me. and I have realized that since everything is fleeting, this to shall pass. 
What will be left is cause for concern. I will stand strong in my awareness, in my joy and peace of mind.....this year's word for me is Courage, I say with a big smile "Bring it on."

My courage is here, my love for my life and how I see the world through my eyes is here shinning brightly with hope that the future still holds so many new life lessons for me.

It takes courage to live the best life possible, to not allow other people to bully you or try to control you.

It takes courage to speak honestly and say the nicest things possible, because the fear in people is that by saying "I love you, I love you, I love you." You become vulnerable, but NOT when you have courage, you know that love is a powerful word like a magic shield that once you embrace love hate simply bounces off and can't find you in the fray!

2017 begins with courage in this thick snow fall outside today,
with the fuzzy blankets as cats nap in-between the dogs,
as my husband studies for the Bar exam,
while I reflective over my life in awe and in such gratefulness.
I am done with being "busy" in my life, for that keeps me away from the most important things to me. 
it's time that I become Courageous in facing "time." with the proper respect as fleeting as it actually is.

Bring it on! I have all the time in the world to live in this new year! 

Monday, January 2, 2017

The "Cool Kids."

        It was back when I was 8 years old, (almost 30 years ago) I was going to Sunday school class in a big mega church that my parents always said was "non-denominational." 

I had noticed a group of girls who always sat together in their best looking dresses and pink colored bibles. I suddenly wanted a pink bible too and ask my mother all the time for one.
It was clear to me these girls were "cool." without anyone explaining it me.
And I wanted to be their friend so I tried to be "likable" in doing everything they asked me, like "Debby go get the glue for us." during craft time, "Debby give this note to that boy." on the playground. I brought them candy as gifts, I made note cards and gave them any little things I had like pages of stickers or new markers in hope to be their friend. They made fun of other kids, and I did too even though I felt so ashamed to do so afterwords I prayed a hundreds over for God to forgive me. Yet I had to learn young what being "cool" and "Not cool" was.....I felt so not cool because I was home-schooled and all these girls went to the same church for their school so they were a strong click.
My father was watching one Sunday as I shared how nice it was to have new friends, how I was truly so happy then they called for me and I ran off to do their bidding. He waited till we were walking alone to explain "Those little girls are very mean, they are just using you." I looked over my shoulder at them knowing they were having a slumber party I wasn't invited to and I felt hurt, left out and so not cool anymore. My father asked in his usual frowning face "Do you WANT to be a mean person too? Because they think that's what being "cool." is?" I replied "No, I don't like how I feel when we call kids fat or dumb." His eye grew wide in alarm as he demanded "Are YOU calling kids names with them!?!? You should be ashamed of yourself!" I burst into tears of course fearing his wrath in my honesty, but learning a life long lesson that I don't want to be one of the "cool kids after all.
it took many years after that to realize everyone has their own idea of what "being cool" is, My mother shared "That girl is so cool, why can't you befriends with her???" I chuckle and tilt my head listening to my mother whose constant push into the "Cool Kids" group made me the weirdest person in my protest.

When I was 10 years old I felt so lonely, maybe that first decade of my life I really was lonely, friends came and went through my parents I never had a say of who I wanted to play with.

I just had to make the best of it, my lasting friends were also my cousins. So I would ask them what does being "cool" mean to them, it was never about being mean to others.

 It was a constant battle with my mother who saw outside requirements to what she thought was "cool" if I told her they were mean to me, she would say "That's because you make yourself a target. You act like you don't belong with them, or you say weird things instead of trying to fit in, it takes work to make new friends and to act like they do...then you would eventually be accepted."   
I protested "They don't like to go for walks in nature, they don't play games or draw.....they mostly talk about boys or new movies and go shopping." My mother explained "They are just being girls, they don't let the boys know that they like them and they don't get dirty. They are the coolest kids I know!"  I found myself in so many awkward social moments where my mother demanded me to stay with the other kids and try to be a friend. I often found my own way out of the group, took a long walk outside or colored in my coloring books. I still like to play, to go on adventures and get muddy so most of my friends ended up being much younger then me!

My mother was always pushy about who I should be friends with, as I grew older I grew bolder in telling her straight up "No. they are not my friends, they are YOUR friends."  

It was also humorists to me in being a new friend home to my mother, for she tired to hide her clear cut judgement and disapproval. 
I would always defend my friends and explain to her who they were and how grateful I was to have them in my life. 
My mother would say "If only you were friends with "so and so" then you could get invited up to the cabin or maybe get their "hand-me-down" clothes?" I would laugh at how silly that was to me, then see how important it was to her in making friends who had some time of perk. 

For me in having a friend was about kindness and trust, stability and support, I often daydreamed about having a life long friend when I was 10 years old. 
I would even be sitting at a table full of kids my own age feeling completely alone. Even though my mother always kept my hair perfectly, had my clothes matching, kept my whole outward appearance clean and sharp. I still struggled with the "Cool Kids." they would make fun of me very easily, I would fight back by being very different from them which left my mother bewildered over what to do with me!
When I was 15 the whole thing about "being cool or not" click in me, like a new found faith I was no longer lonely with just myself, I had 3 strong great friends whose love and kindness was a true gift.  I liked being on my own, or with them, and that growing feeling of welcoming to any new person into my life was THE best feeling of all!
 I suddenly had more friends then I could ever imagine, I liked introducing myself to any new person that came to our events.
I was truly happy in finding myself, that strong sense of self and support to the new awkward person.

One time when I was pushing the stroller of my baby brother up to my mother during our roller skating monthly event, where other home schooled families came together. I saw a new family checking in and I exclaimed to my mother "Oh look new people! I'm going over to say HI!" She grabbed my arm in true horror whispering to me "No, don't do that! They look dirty and out of place. Do not go over there!" She glanced all around as if embarrassed by me, and I stood frozen in alarm by her outburst, I stood quiet and stunned suddenly realizing that she lived in a completely different world then I did. She had a different set of her own friends that she had to worry about, she wanted to always be seen as if she had it all together perfectly. 
I will always remember looking back at that new family and noticing that they were poorly dressed it was rather a surprise to me, for some reason I had not noticed that about them at all.
So I left my mother and didn't go see the new people right away, I found my beloved friend Tiffany and asked her what I should do because my mother was very upset at me.  Tiffany laughed when I told her the whole story, I always like how smart she was in understanding my mother better for me, she explained "Your mother is afraid you'll invite them to sit with her or come to lunch afterwords like you always do with new people, putting her in an awkward situation. Whenever you meet and greet people you burst out with sharing to much information so maybe she just wants to be left alone. It's not your fault but you are an energy entirely of your own so you don't see all these levels in how our society works, in your mind we are all equal, it's sweet but not true."
I sat dumbfounded and embarrassed in that moment, I suddenly realized that my mother had grown up in public school and had to work hard to be "cool" by her standards. 
Tiffany got me back to roller skating leaning into me saying "There are lots of ways to say hi or introduce yourself with out putting your mom into a bad situation. Just look at our group of misfit kids, You are our cheer leader and devoted friend, they like giving you high fives and knowing you are there for them. So don't take it personal that your mother is so different from you. I am sure she is proud of you even if she doesn't know how to say it right now." 
I will always remember that moment, the joy I felt in realizing my group of friends were so "cool" to me.

Then the month I was about to turn 16 years old,  I discovered my outgoing friendliness got me into a bind.  For I was helping a guy 12 years older then me, I didn't think anything of it as being odd or more then just being friends. But it was Tiffany who said "Oh Your Mother is so excited that you "met someone" with lots of money, who can provide for you and help raise your kids." 
I choked and coughed in alarm and in pure panic. I exclaimed "WHAT!?!?" Oh NO! No, no, no, no, THAT is NOT what is going here! I just don't like to see anyone abandon or left to struggle socially! I am not in-love or even wanting to get married!?!?! Wait, so what did you hear my mom say???...Good grief, Is she finally getting to do her "arrange marriage" idea after all??? She's always talking about it, because she thinks that since her and God are so close, he would guide her steps in finding my sister and I perfect husbands. My father wouldn't allow it thank goodness,and every time she tries to explain all the benefits of this system, my sister and I look at each other in the corner of our eyes in pure annoyance." Tiffany nodded and laughed even more as she explained "Your Mother could be wishing that her parents had setup an arranged marriage for her so now she wants that for you." I fell forward into my lap groaning my helplessness next to my very wise friend. I dramatically asked her "How did this ALL happened???"
Tiff smiled and patted my head "Because you are way to nice to everyone, so they misunderstand your intentions."

Shortly after that chat with Tiffany I found myself in a family dinner that my mother had setup with his mother, I sat there answering such questions like "How many kids do you want?", "Are you happy at church?", "Do you think you will still want to work after you are married?", "What does the ideal life look like for you?", "What does God's will mean to you?" as these questions all came at me, I felt like this was a great opportunity to share my almost 16 year old self to everyone without being rude, without being rebellious. (My mother despised rebelliousness) and so I didn't want to embarrass her that night with our 2 families facing each other across the table. 
My honest direct confident replies to every question and my clever way in being friendly and confident helped me face everyone in a charming way while I still stood up for myself without causing problems. 
My father who sat far away watching with his arms folded the whole time turned from frowning into a big smile as he quietly listened to me, this is why I remember this event so well because after we left he said that he was proud of me, that I handle myself very nicely.

I look back realizing that was a turning point for me, I was so happy over how my father was proud! It gave me a new strength in myself, and while my mother would say "That could of been you..." I would say back in clear understanding "Nope. Not at all."

Sometimes being "cool" has nothing do with what other people think, and there is always going to be someone cooler then you so why not just be?