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Friday, November 18, 2011

The Shop-a-holic

It is amazing to me how I look forward to shopping when I can take my mother with me. If you had asked me a year ago I would have said I hate shopping like that, all day long with my mom in and out of sale racks....but now I find it peaceful. I push her wheel chair through the mall with such easy calm happiness. Thinking to myself "Wow this is actually FUN and i am happy she can do these things again!" I grew up with a Shop-a-Holic mother. I have very clear memories of K-mart with blue light special going off and my mom pushing her cart with me sitting inside racing towards that light! How we shopped all day long, craft stores, fabric stores and that Shopko's grand opening of chaos....In fact my mother LOVED grand openings of new stores she went with such energy even with 3 small kids at the time. As I grew up with other homeschooling families we all went shopping together, places like Can food Warehouse, Fred Meyers or Costco. It took me a long time to realize there was far more to do with our time in our days that didn't include shopping. I would save my money for trips to spend while shopping with cousins, Aunts and grandparents. I used to think no one could out shop my Grandma Norma, she LOVED that world of sparkling things and new clothes, then one day my mother proved me wrong that woman wasn't going to stop until I said "I am DONE, I can't shop anymore I need a coffee and I need to sit down!" She looked at me surprised in her reply "When I was your age I could shop from 8am to 10pm with only a cherry coke...You're to young to want to stop NOW." I would sigh shaking my head, I didn't get it this crazy shopping passion. Sitting in a coffee shop in the mall with Christmas decor all around was far more enjoyable to me then seeing a 70% off sale sign.....When Mom would sit with me as I took a brake I could see she was awkward in this calm moment. She was loosing minuets of shopping of scoring that great deal out there. My Mother had a hobby it was being a shop-a-holic, that excitement and high from buying something was her outlet from homemaking and being a mother. I remember one night a couple of years ago in the Boise mall my mother and I were sharing a Cinnamon roll as I also drank my coffee, My back hurt, my feet hurt and my head hurt from having arrived there close to 10am that day now it was almost 9pm....."Mom I can't shop anymore it's late the mall will close soon anyway I need to get home...." Mom sighed sadly with her fork in hand as she replied "I miss my mom and sisters in those good old days when we wouldn't stop shopping until we had seen every store....some times getting home at 11pm even." She chuckled at her memories. I thought to myself in the moment I would have NEVER survived it! I would wonder why mom wasn't wanting to go home, why she was acting panicked while shopping like her life was passing her a great deal was being missed out there. That night in the mall with just the 2 of us visiting and as my mother shared how she misses shopping like those good old days. I knew I would never get it, never be apart of that kind of passion.....Give me a quiet book store or the park then I will share with you my joy in those places. Maybe because my childhood was spent swinging on clothes racks or sitting on the dirty floor of a dressing room, 
I simply don't like shopping in the same way my mother does. Now after her stroke shopping is the one place that makes her feel normal again...I will push her wheel chair happily for her to have that connection to her old self again with no complaint:-)

"Debby! what ARE you doing?" My mother exclaimed at me inside the shinny Kohls store. This was just this past spring, I had drove across town to meet up with her while she was shopping with coupons for her favorite store Kohls. I stopped walking holding the clothes I was going to try on looking at my mom with a questioning look "What?" I asked. Her eyes were huge as she looked over my clothes, "These aren't on sale, they are the new spring line up!?!" I chuckled realizing I didn't waste any time finding what I needed or liked. "Well it IS spring right now so I want to wear the right clothes for the season...." Mom sighed shaking her head at me "You will be paying full price then! Come look at these sales racks..." I thought to myself how I had been here 45 minutes already my time limit was running out. I liked getting in to get the things on my list as easy as that first rack of clothing. Even at full price Kohls isn't expensive, so I wasn't worried. My mother watched over me worriedly like I had gone crazy, I tried not get annoyed by all the clutter on the sale racks but it wasn't easy, when that rainy day broke out into sun light I knew I had to get outside instantly! I give shopping a couple of hours of my time but not at the cost of the sun light or fresh air! My Mom said "You use to like shopping when you were a kid, even when you were a teenager you use to beg to go to the mall....Oh those were the good old days." I smiled thoughtfully at my mother and nodded she continued "If I lived where YOU do I would shop every single day and get some really good deals! It's not that far for you to drive like it is for me" I replied "I have everything I need....what I can't get enough of is the outside world those beautiful long walks in the park are the real deal." My mother chuckled rolling her eyes and sat with me for a moment longer at the coffee shop.....

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