I am remembering a conversation with my mother a few weeks ago as we sat in her hospital room watching the TV. The "Dr. Phil" was on and I was amazed that I had never watched it before, when we can only sit around sometimes the TV's annoying noises are a good distraction. This episode was about a woman who was told she was a problem child so they didn't take her seriously when she said she was being abused. I shook my head sadly saying "No matter how untrustworthy a person could seem, the right thing is to stand next to them in full support even if they are lying to you. For your actions are honoring, even if it later turns out to be false..." I sighed annoyingly at this story I can think of my own situations and stories of other people I knew who couldn't find any help when they were hurt. It is more common then I realize of how people assume someone is lying instead of fully trusting or supporting that victim. THIS has always angered me, when I was a teenager, I first noticed this attitude people gave off, I heard how people would judge or proclaim "They are always lying, so it's probably another lie." I would wonder to myself "But WHAT IF they are not lying right now? what should I do? Isn't it more important to protect them or stand by them no matter what?"
My mother replied at the TV and my comment with her own memory of a friend who went on a weekend trip with a guy and came back pregnant. I listened as my mom explained this friend of hers had everyone telling her friend how to live or what to do now that her husband had died. So she left town during this mourning time with a guy friend. While she was gone everyone freaked out telling my mom she was having an affair. Yet my mother stood up for her friend not believing all the gossip. I patted my mother's arm while listening saying "GOOD for YOU Mom! She needed your support when everyone else was driving her crazy.....but wait a minuet...you said that her husband had died right? Soooo it wasn't an affair, She was just having a romantic get away then." Mom rolled her eyes so cutely from her hospital bed with the TV in the background as she replied "But my friend came back pregnant! so she WAS sleeping with the man...and after I told everyone that she wasn't. It made me look like a fool, so you can't always believe what people tell you...." I sighed gently as I explained "From her sorrow of her dead husband comes the new joy in having a baby, there is nothing wrong with that. A new life no matter how it happened should be celebrated! We can't keep people from lying to us, we can only be true in knowing what is the right thing to do.....and it is not to judge her but to be there always strong and supportive in carrying the fire of love." I smiled at my mom saying "YOU were never a fool, you trusted and loved your friend when she needed that the most. What she choose to do with your friendship is her own choice and all you can do is stand your ground in full on love and honest support." Mom smiled back at me saying "When you put it like that it makes sense, I just was shocked she did what everyone was saying she was doing!" I asked thoughtfully again realizing this was nice to chat honestly with my mom, since her stroke she has a very open way about her. "Why does it matter?" I asked "For she wasn't married anymore and her loneliness was her own personal life story. Not for anyone else to know about, why would everyone be sitting around thinking on these things in her own personal life? It's very odd to me.....I don't see anything worth arguing, it all makes perfect sense to me. I bet you got so worn out by such gossiping people around you! It sure sounds like she did!" I chuckled shaking my head thinking if I bet could anything on who EVERYONE was,it's some church family my mom attended that had this kind of gossip, judgment and scandals going on ALL the time. Most people do not want to be made a fool, but trusting, supporting and loving a person even if they are lying to your face doesn't make you the fool. For you are right where you are meant to be, truly loving unconditionally!