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Thursday, November 10, 2011

The Alone Parent

The American Family has changed in many ways over the many years, I think a family is made up of more then just parents and siblings. A family can be a big connected circle of extended family or loyal friends. It is a sad lonely place when a parent tells others to stay out of their lives. I have seen this unfold personally, when at a time that family should come together stronger and closer. I have been seeking such balancing and healthy relationships for my life. I have asked these questions like; What makes a person want to be an island? 
Why do we step back when someone tells us not to interfere with their parenting? For I believe that there is NO perfect parent, no one has all the answers nor suddenly do they have the full insight to lead their children without any outside help. When I think of families who keep each other close, growing up with adding more family members and not loosing connection I see a helpful circle of  people full of advice, caring and strong support. In many ways for the protection of the children there needs to be a setup of checks and balances. If an alone parent breaks down, loosing their temper or is lacking good judgement then it is the children who really suffer. Perhaps that is why parenting couples seem more rested and healthier in raising children together instead of just one person. We all need a break, a rest and a helping hand when leading others or teaching the young generations. I think that working together is the best way to give all of our kids a better start for their future. Sometimes one adult will the miss important info on a situation concerning misbehaving children that the insight or helpful advise from the other adults around can create better strategies in handing that. We really need to be aware of how important it is in asking for help or humbling ourselves to realize we are not the complete law on personal family matters. For if you keep telling those around you that you are in charge, that you are the boss and that your word is law. How no one has the right to question your authority. Then the reality is you have become the alone parent, everyone will give up and move on leaving you all alone. Those who suffer the most from this situation are the children. As they grow up wondering why life feels so lonely. I think for myself I really admire the communities like the Basque where many people came together in support for each other or had that feeling like family. Why do we set ourselves apart from each other? Why do parents tell others not to get involved in their choices for their families? I think our sense of family, community and togetherness has faded in our selfishness. When we shut the door on those around us, we really miss out on a rich, full, happy life. How can we support families and protect against such struggling alone parents? Maybe it's time to change that parenting pride to realizing how we need each other by our side!

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