The phone call

I was staying a whole week at my Grandparents so each day was amazing and I took important notes of all the things I was learning, I was 9 years old. Grandma loved her ice cream bars at night while watching TV, Papa sliced his cheese and salami while reading the newspaper. I found my own time very special as I colored or drew while laying on the floor. 
   It was on one of these peaceful quiet evenings when the phone rang and Grandma told me to get on the other line in the study to talk to my Mother. I will never forget this phone conversation, Mom's voice sounded far away as she talked to me, I tried not to be impatient or bored but I listened thinking how grateful I was to not be home right then. Mom asked "Do you miss me?" I said without thinking "Nope, I am having a good time! today we had ice cream cones while we picked out some fun Disney movies to watch! Then tonight Grandma said we will have microwave popcorn soon!" I waited as Mom sighed replying back "Well, don't get to spoiled then you won't be nice anymore, and I miss you." I chuckled saying honestly without thinking "You can take all the time you need in coming back for me." When I hanged up after Mom reminded me to be good, (Being GOOD was the most important message my parents ever gave me as a kid, it meant don't do anything to embarrass THEM or I would pay for it in some kind of pain.) I always wanted to be GOOD, if not perfect But I seemed to get myself into some troubled situation all the time. Life lessons often come about with a few mistakes...Sooo When I hung up the phone I turned to face a very angered Grandma. She had her hands on her hips as she scolded me quickly, I was caught by surprised and bewildered as she yelled out "THAT WAS RUDE! THAT WAS SO VERY RUDE!!! HOW DARE YOU! You should have said you missed your mother!!! You have NOW hurt her feelings!" I stood completely unsure of what to say or do next, Grandma yelling wasn't a new thing to watch or hear, BUT she had been very nice all week, so this moment made me realize I had done something very wrong (Once again)  "How did all this happen?" I asked myself as Grandma spatted and squawked then she sat me down in the dinning room table until I had written a letter of nice things to my mother and my father. I sat there for at least an hour with nothing to think of to write as I worried over my parents, what if Grandma tells them how mad she is at me right now? will I have to go home early? Would Dad get his commonly used leather belt? I didn't stop to think I should just call my mom back and lie saying that I DID miss her and make everything good again instantly. "How do I write to someone I honesty don't trust?" I asked myself starring up at the glass crystal dinning room chandelier. With the blank paper in front of me, I didn't know how to spell very well, I couldn't read much either. I was realizing being on my own just how much I lacked in my education. Being Home schooled I suppose this was the norm for most kids, At least I hoped I wasn't the only slow learning child out there? "Why don't I miss my mother? Everyone misses their parents? But I honestly don't, I can't lie... God would be so mad at me! Right, I mean he would mad if I lied? But now Grandma is mad, and I didn't LIE?!? What did I do wrong?" I finally wrote 3 lines that I thought where very clever and maybe a little white lie after all God hopefully understands I am in trouble here for telling the TRUTH, In fact THAT actually ALWAYS happened to me! I told the truth most of my whole life and people (even my parents) got very mad at me for it! I finally realized the truth isn't what people want to hear and so I began to learn how to keep others around me happy by lying.....

Der Momy

I love U, I mis U and I cant wate to Cee U!  

 After I wrote a matching one for my father, I felt better I didn't want my Grandma to think of me as a rude kid. I worked a bit harder to get her to be nice again. She was glaring at me through out my hour punishment sitting at the dinning room table. Then she mailed of my letter the next day. I was hoping to talk my Grandparents into staying all summer long, going home to my easily angered parents was suddenly making me panic. My father worked all the time, he demanded coming home to a quiet home so he could veg in front of the TV the rest of the night. My mother was afraid if we kids watched to much TV then Satan himself would take our sinful souls, in fact I knew so many things about Satan by the time I was 9 years old that I was picturing a red colored man with horns running about the Forrest in his evil laughter. I hoped he didn't get me for lying so much! 

That phone call with my mother while Grandma listened, made me realize that I couldn't just be myself, I was surprised to realize how honesty wasn't a guarantee to have God's approval or protection. So as I walked around I said out loud over and over again "I love you! I miss you! I can't wait to see you!" I began to wonder if I could create a poem that rhymes like that, if I could learn to write and find a hidden place where truth could set me FREE!