Hanging On

I wish I was a real fortune teller, (Not just on Halloween) Then I could see the days ahead better for my family, for my mother and for my father. Going through these changes a stroke brings about it, is hard on anyone, not to mention extremely hard on my family. Because my mother was the center of the world for my younger brothers. She was the perfect babysitter for her grand kids for my sister and the homemaking wife that kept good foods cooking for my father. She is now getting better everyday even if she gets frustrated and tired. I think my mom will go through a huge range of emotions and moods before even ever leaving the hospital. THAT is the part of hanging on I want to write about tonight. Since I was gone working the fair the last couple of weeks I purposely stepped back to look at my family, my mom and my own emotional pains. I can honestly say that it is amazing how quickly my mother is getting better and making a difference in her aftermath of this stroke. I meant it when I wrote I am so proud of her, she lives now almost fearless not wanting to be in pain but wanting to get back to doing everything in her life. She wants to teach my younger brothers how to cook and care for themselves, she wants to learn to use a walker to get around her gardens and she wants to go shopping in stores that are big enough for her wheel chair. I think she is amazing to have these game plans and these desires. With something to work towards she can get there and be proud when she makes it! What I do notice is the painful struggles of my family members who are staying with her and caring for her around the clock. She is still in the hospital, still doing work on her paralyzed side but it has taken a tole on the rest of the family not just my mother in her own painful struggles. I know that it is important to take care myself, to stay healthy and be strong before I visit my mother or else I am not any good for her. I can't make other people do the same for themselves, (especially in my stubborn family) But I have been thinking that hanging on to my own self-respect, my own health and happiness is the key to helping out when it's needed, IF it's even needed....In fact hanging on might be more important then letting go. OR maybe you need the right balance of both to live life either way?