To Be Nice...

It is easy to get wiped out hanging out at the hospital everyday, all day or all night......Most people I talk with often raise their eyes in surprise when I say what my hours have been or what the family is doing in rotating schedules at the hospital. It is diffidently not normal.....what we are doing, but I know my mother likes seeing her family around. My father is working out his job around his life at the hospital, with the help of us kids he can step out without doubting our mother's care. Then the night shifts switch back and forth between my brother Derek and our dad. With my 3 younger brothers rotating each day so one of them just hang out in mom's room. My sister is on top of everything, with her own time for her kids and her college classes she still hang out at the hospital almost full time. I know eventually everyone will calm down and get into a better setup of taking care of themselves along the way....but for right now it seems crazy to an outsider looking in. "You guys really shouldn't live here like this, trust the nurses and the hospital to help your mom then get some actual good long rest!" were the wise words of my neighbor in the hospital hallway and I chuckled nodding for I had heard this many times before from many other caring, loving people who have gone through the whole family member in the hospital thing before. I have to explain this is the first for my family so we will figure this out as we go along. I have begun to stop worrying over my father's food or sleep I trust him to care for himself and my constant asking or trying to hand him some ready food just annoys him....I realized yesterday that we are coming up on 3 weeks almost, and I am truly wiped out! I love how my mother is progressing but I can see clearly she needs some time on her own in her own bed for her own peace of mind and rest. Today her surgery went good, they put her head all back together again and now she will be able to really heal and get moving again. We will need to be ready full of love, compassion and encouragement for her in these next weeks and months ahead. I also hope she gives her own self personal grace to take her time and not be quickly frustrated. Yet whatever her reactions or emotions are I understand how important it is for her to feel them and let them wash over her until she heals. Truly her journey will be her own and from the inside out she will work on all of this. I guess what I want to know is to be nice, (As my mother used to reminds us all to be) should we smoother her or let her have some room to grow on her own?