In the last 3 weeks since my mother's stroke we have spent very long hours at the hospital, of course nothing as long as my father or even my brother. Although if my sister could she would never leave, but our lives all do start to move on in our usual different directions. In times like these families don't get a paper manual to fix everything (although that would be nice) I am amazed at how wiped out I got by all of this that I was truly thankful for my fair job coming up as I develop healthy boundaries in caring for others again. I love my time with my mom she is both clever and sweet, she is determined and strong. Her recovery will no doubt amaze us all and I can see that spark in her eye as she tries. The hospital is such a big place, full of hundreds of rooms and a bathroom almost around every corner you walk! The whole building is amazingly setup for big families or quiet corners to hide away in alone. I was walking down the hallway last week thinking to myself for such a big busy place I haven't seen a single person in awhile....
Hospitals are what we choose to see, if we see the coffee shop as a rescue escape to smile and chit chat with the barista then that is what it becomes, or if we sit alone reading for the peaceful quiet then that is what a hospital is. It is no secret that I am very social person, in my first weekend here at our cottage I knew the names of my neighbors before I even met them all. I can honestly talk to anyone without any fear. I have always loved people, I love having family gatherings, BBQs and any big event! I would never say that I have enough friends. SO naturally if the hospital has no friends or family then I am more likely to dislike the place. TRULY...IT IS hard to not be surrounded all the time by hugs and loves in this lonely hospital. In the few times when we were all there together, I thought it was the most comforting. My husband promised me that if ever I am in the hospital as a patient I can have all my book clubs, chick flick friends around me as much as I wanted. He made me laugh when I really thought I was going to cry, being in the hospital one time we were sitting together watching a big family hold on to each other, coming and going in the ICU. My husband caught my eye as I admired this loving family, he whispered "Maybe they should give us some pointers on how to handle such trauma?" I replied sarcastically "Maybe like how everyone is welcomed? or how important ALL family is?" He shrugged taking my hand into his then winked at me. And I felt instantly safe again as I realized clearly that sometimes a Hospital is what you make it, so I will choose to see only love....
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