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Sunday, March 6, 2011

Such Arms As These

Now I love being married to such a sensitive thoughtful man! He would stop his life, his job, his time to come help me with whatever I may need. I am always amazed at how much he wants to be with me! He is naturally thoughtful and I often think I am so lucky to share my life with him! 

When We had just moved into our one bedroom condo in Boise that summer of '04, Our little community of condos was mostly of quiet elderly neighbors. The neighbor directly across the hall from us was a Grandma and I only knew her first name, Linda. She was shy, I made conversation with her easy as we got our mail at the same times. My condo's sliding glass door looked out into big healthy lilac brushes, I would read out there on a blanket in the sun light waving at Linda. It was important to me to know my neighbors. At least to know them but not bug them. On this certain summer evening I sat on the big fluffy navy blue couch in my freshly cleaned condo. My sliding glass door was open to the summer's fresh air that I love so  much! I was reading as dinner was cooling in the kitchen, I had cooked salmon and pasta. I also liked the smell of the open bottle of wine while it aired through the small place. Tony shot through the front door grabbing his folding chair we kept by the door for him. "Hi Babe." I said glancing up from my book to catch an odd look on Tony's face, he had said nothing. His eyes saw me but he wasn't really aware, he was lost in other thoughts I could tell instantly. I sat up now alarmed as the door closed behind him. " What the hell was that?!" I asked myself shooting up from the couch and dropping my book as I slipped on my shoes. I ran outside looking for Tony just sensing something was so wrong! I called out for him a couple of times but had no reply, I was becoming frighten as I noticed our car was parked but Tony was gone! " What was with his look?"  I wondered as I ran fast all around the condo buildings just as I reached the other side by the mail box I saw Tony opening his folding chair by our neighbor Linda as she laid flat on the ground. "Oh my god!" My heart was racing but I purposely slowed it down as I realized Tony had gotten her the chair. Linda was a very big woman, her grand kids ran around calling her "Grandma, Grandma."all the time. I knew as the Grandma in our condos. My voice was even and strong "Hey there Linda Lady, what happened?" I asked casually as if this happened everyday, like we found our neighbors laying on their backs all bloody and hurt before. She worried "Oh Dear! I didn't mean to scare you guys! I think my knee went out on me....I don't know I just woke up....OH DEAR He is so frighten!" Then She cried out as she tried to move, I quickly bent down next to her "Don't move Honey! Something could be broken...If it hurts to bad then don't move." I knew she saw how Tony was all white, he hadn't spoken a single word. He stared with shock and horror as he leaned up against the folded out chair. I smiled at Linda warmly as if she had nothing to be embarrassed about. She groaned and said "I would like to get up in that chair, I think I am just bruised." Tony stood there worrying over his own balance with his cerebral palsy. He wasn't sure how to help while he was also very panicked. I motioned to him to smile and try to relax his expression. He tried but he still wasn't speaking AT ALL....Linda chuckled "Poor Tony he looks so worried, I am sorry to be such a bother!" I chuckled right back at her in reply "Tony is just worrying about you and you are NOT a bother! You fell down for goodness sake! You deserve a helping hand." Linda had streaks of blood across her face and I leaned down next to Linda holding her shaky hand explaining . "When the knee goes out on a really hot day like today you need to just take it slow. I will get you in the chair then I will go get you some water okay?" I was both confident and calm. I was realizing she must be needing some water right away! She gasped as I reach down around her to help her get up "NO! I will BRAKE YOUR BACK!" She warned so I stopped and step back giggling at her. "It's okay, if you just let me, I can carry you over to the chair." I said this like I did this sort of thing ALL the time. Linda protested again "YOU are just a tiny thing! You will end up hurting yourself!" I smiled that she would call ME "A tiny thing"  for all of my life I have NEVER been tiny! My big bulky thick arms stood out like a sore thumb in my youth, my hips were always wide and squared. My face often revealed an extra chin line during the winters. TINY was not a word I would ever use to describe myself. Tony spoke finally with a nervous laugh at Linda referring to me "She is one of the strongest people I have ever known! She has carried ME around before!" Linda looked surprised at Tony who held onto the chair as I swept in and picked Linda up. I used my legs bracing myself with such strength that burned up through my arms as I felt like I was never letting her go. She was bewildered at how far from the ground she went and I slowly set her back down in the chair. I was proud of myself to succeed and to have her catch her breath sitting up in the chair. We would take her to the hospital where her family members met up there. After we headed home I told Tony that next time he needs to let me know when he needs help somehow, a situation like that is scary but it's important to not panic. Tony sighed as he explained he had never seen such a thing, a person laying on the ground! His biggest fear was he thought she could be dead! Then he couldn't think straight after that thought. He relaxed next to me saying "Thank God I have YOU in my life!" I giggled as I thought about the years before when I hated my big fat arms, I was the only one who looked like a female "He-man". I realized now, that these crazy strong arms of mine actually came in handy for something:-) 

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