The Dude

I was 14 years old, when my first baby brother Daren was born and it was such an amazing day in my life! Daren's nickname was "Dude", I loved calling out at a fast food joint to get Daren's attention saying "Hey Dude, It's time to go." His little chubby toddler legs would kick out down the slide as he calls back "Kayyy, I'm comin'.." Then people around would chuckle and smile because he was truly adorable. And the fact that He knew he was THE DUDE. When Daren was just a baby I carried around my own pacifier so that when he fused and our mother wasn't around to feed him I could slip him that pacifier to keep him calmed down. I had to be sneaky because our mother said she hated pacifiers and threw them all away. She explained that is was Lying to the baby giving them a fake nipple. Of course I totally disagreed, I consider a pacifier like a pause button to keep the baby from crying instantly. So often when baby Daren was screaming his head off because he was hungry I would hunt our mother down impatiently telling her to stop whatever she was doing to feed him. She often chuckled at me and shook her head saying that babies don't always get what they want that is how they get spoiled. So from my early teenager years I had lesson after lesson on what it means to be a parent and how important it is to be a Good parent. My parents gave me so much information that I was able to know very clearly what NOT to do more often then anything. I am actually very relieved to not be a parent now in my life, yet I feel I already am in my heart when I think of the days with the Dude. After his diaper was changed or he got a bath I would say "High Five! You are good to go!" he would jump up slapping my hands then sticking up his thumbs saying "Duuuuuude!" I would brake out into a little dance with him jumping around me laughing. What I wanted the most my little brother was that he could have a better quality of life. That he could be whatever he wanted to be as long as he was happy! So when I made him giggle or laugh I felt like everything in this crazy world was going to be already after all. I even hoped he had much nicer parents then I did when I was his age. I wanted to believe everything beautiful and wonderful would fill his life forever! With his soft blond hair and big blue eyes, he would look up at me as I would make a funny face then he would copy me and we would laugh! Among the toy box of beanie babies and coloring books, he and I would hang out on the floor coloring and talking for hours. We went everywhere together, I knew those days would fly by and one day he would be all grown up. It was fun to create big bubble baths for him and read to him before bed, but whenever he was going to get spanked by anyone in the house his little legs went into a full on run to find me. He KNEW that I would save him from such a punishment! I was very much like a mama bear, but I was also happy to just be his fun silly sister. It is really hard on a family to bring babies into them after they have been established awhile. Most people don't talk about just how hard it really is, In my childhood society it was very common to have many kids in a family or be old parents still giving birth. I don't completely understand it and maybe that is something I could learn more about. If my brother Daren hadn't been born I wouldn't have been "saved" from such a life. I know how it feels to be a mother without all the physical pain. But I was really lucky to have my baby brother teach me most importantly about compassion and the unnecessary guidelines in discipline. He was that rare joy in my life that both grounded me and gave me hope for our future. I love my Dude brother! I know he will have a good life!