Moving On...

Dana handed me a cigarette while my hands were still a bit shaky, "So let me get this straight, YOU were thrown out of the house today because you had a fight with Dad and now you are disowned?" She lit hers first as she spoke. I loved that calming smell of smoke as we sat on the steps of her deck out in the wide open country side. I had desperately needed a hug from her, and she was more then willing to give me one. At first she listened to my situation and my recount of that big fight. Dana yelled out "I'm going right up there to give them a piece of my mind, of all the CRAZY things to do! especially to YOU!?! It's not like you ever gave them much of a fight before?!?" I chuckled as I sat there smoking watching my sister move around. I didn't react as quickly, I just sat there thinking to myself about what all this means for my life. Dana sighed "Well I'll be damn! I thought YOU were always going to be the perfect follower to our parents, because you did what was right or you were to friggin' scared to stand up for yourself ...like EVER!" I nodded sitting next to my sister talking about our family drama helped me relax again, there is a comfort in knowing you both can relate in some way to what was happening. Although SHE was forbidden to even pop over for a visit and I saw how badly she was treated by far worse then ever I was. Dana said thoughtfully "Sooooo IF I had done EVERYTHING they asked of me growing up, then I would STILL be sitting here smoking all rejected!?! Shhhhhit! I am so glad I got out of there when I did then!" I laughed now as I realized that it was all truly ironic. I was so grateful to have that break with my sister, It was true, I had done everything my parents wanted until I stopped going to church. It had been like jumping through hoops for a stage dog to win some kind of favor.....and sadly despite all that I had done for what I had hoped was right, STILL it blew up in my face! I ended up not having parents in my life just like my sister. AND she understood at that moment she hadn't made the wrong choice running away from home, I admired her courage and her own freedom to be real. Sitting next to her on that afternoon as I leaned my head against her shoulder while we finished our cigarettes. Dana smiled back at me saying "I bet it sure feels good to be free!" I chuckled and nodded in agreement. It was time that I was moving on.....