Is God out There?

Is God out there? Somewhere we haven't been? Does it even matter, If He or She exist if all they do is watch? I wondered when I was younger, when I was walking through all those nature walks on my childhood farm, Is God out there watching me right now? I believed in what I was told to think, I behaved in the ways I was told where right. That somehow the earth couldn't all come together without a God who guided and controlled it all. I was told of stories over those years that were both scary and amazing! Of this idea that God would punish the wrong and honor the right. God was there like a shadow from the sky to my everyday life as a child. I didn't doubt for a second, that if he wanted me dead there was nothing I could do. As a child I believed willingly and hopefully that I was growing up right, growing up correctly according to the power of God, who controls the very air I needed to breathe.......
Yet right now I am in my 30s wondering why I still want to believe in God, of course my own personal idea of God now is much more peaceful and loving. YET I am asking myself today because I realize nothing is ever set in stone, That honestly no one can actually say for a fact that they do know who God is or where God is. A book like the bible just has stories of history and hope, or scary fear and control. With metaphors and life lessons the bible can be easily argued and faulted. Sometimes when reading it everything makes perfect sense! Then all to quickly a section pops up that is so confusing. I guess it comes down to the fact we are looking for God in that book, the Bible has been given so much power over people, I was told such an absolute truth that God is what the bible says. How scary to give a man made book even the power to know and reveal God! God can not be captured so easily nor proven to exist. I have long since refused to believe that God is so easily "boxed in". For I used to talk to him growing up especially on my nature walks and it was the hope of God that helped me live through those times. I believe it's that kind of hope which gives us faith, peace of mind and love. The other rules or ideas come from how people like to control other people. I am an adult now waking up from what I was told as a child, For now I can think for myself by asking deeper questions about where and who God is? I have come to my own personal peace, Maybe it will keep me improving and changing in the years to come. I want be to the type of person who is willing to believe in all things! I know there is a dangerous line to cross when thinking I have all the answers..... I hope I never actually stop asking these kind of questions. For I have a beautiful imagination! I only have just one life to live, and not knowing is just the beginning of reaching all the possibilities! 
I still take my nature walks, I still talk to God while letting the lavender leafs crumble through my fingers as I asked with a happy smile.....Is God a lavender lover too?