Monday, July 18, 2011
The World has Changed.......
This morning I fell to the floor in deep sob as my cell phone fell from my sleepy hand, I let out such a loud cry that my pets zoomed in upon me......my mother had a stroke and in a split second my world had changed. It is one thing to say that such things could happened, it is a living nightmare when it actually does. Bravery, whatever that is actually...It keeps us strong and sometimes keeps us blocked from the feeling of actual fear. Maybe it isn't such a good thing to be brave all the time? For when you feel it that sudden fear, it hits you hard in the very pit of your soul. When I finally saw my mother and took her beautiful hand with her perfectly painted finger nail polished into my own shaky hand, I heard a voice inside me say "The world has changed...." I think there is power in prayer, with all the other family around us and group prayers I can FEEL such a powerful force here......we won't give her up with out a fight and God knows......There is a stronger power at hand when we join in!
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Oh Debby, my prayers are going out to you! Mine are joing everybody elses and its a communal petition! It's hard to be brave, and sometimes bravery isn't what is needed at all. Sometimes we just need to let ourselves feel everything there is to feel, even when it's scary or difficult! Blessings!!!
ReplyDeleteI can't stop thinking how all the specific effort you made to connect with your mom, over the past year is such grace. You were willing to love, forgive and grow.
ReplyDeleteYou are GRACE personified.