Scanning

It was a magical evening, where it's late into the night while also warm outside. I had been planning my whole day for this "Get away, Girls time" with one of my most sweetest friends ever, Molly! It was downtown Boise Idaho where street lights sparkled and the outside patio musician played on their guitar. What I have always enjoyed  about this capital city is the sense of smaller communities within the large area. Taking my friend out for cocktails made me deeply reflective, grateful and all around relaxed. We walked around the downtown blocks window browsing and staying close together in the populated areas. I have always been one to scan ahead sense inside of me if we should continuing walking down that street in the midnight hour or not. I've never been afraid of approaching men with their questions once I understood why they were asking these random questions. Now I see them in all due respect, letting them know I am not their type nor am I one to play games for a free drink. Now they are not failures in my eyes for everyone is a potential friend.  I am instead choosing the depths of my relationships and what times I will stay out late or not. Scanning ahead in my life I see that this is a good time to be alive, to be heading into slowing down with gray hair one day. For I can always dance and sing no matter my age, Right now I have noticed that I can stay out late once in awhile and feel very strong in my center core to be able to handle anything that will arrive, I can be young, (but I am not that young) and I can be old, (but I am not that old)

My wise old self is scanning in this month, my youthful side is off playing around meeting up with friends knowing soon a deep change is coming maybe with my Mom, maybe with just life in general yet I know something is coming towards me like these thunder storms I need to get ready and be prepared. So I have been sitting back most evenings feeling like I've been through one hell of a summer.......now it's time to repair myself and put all of the pieces of me back together again. Scanning is exactly that, taking the time right now to stop and get ready for the next trial or trauma. Maybe because I have been through such things I am now "On guard"???
And so as I sat on the patio in that lovely clear night with my beautiful classy friend I thought to myself "This is a good time in my life to live, an age that can live with come what may..."
I'm finding this month is good for me in scanning I can relax a bit, it is teaching me how to cultivate both sides of my brain, how to be both young and old and how to heal!