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Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Double D's

      When I was born my parents didn't have a girl's name picked out so my father convinced my mother that simply being name "Debby" was lovely. My mother wasn't sure for awhile, she prayed for a boy everyday those 9 months even called me Derek until I pop out to explain I do protest as a girl! And really I broke all the rules for the rest of her life as she was so sure in the ways of God. I think it has been fun to be name after my mother! I wouldn't have said this 20 years ago but now I think to myself it's quite cute!
When I was a little girl visiting my big extended family in St. Maries Idaho, my loud, exciting. self assured Aunt Veta came to my rescue one day! I remember how she spoke, how she moved in to say her "2 cents" every time no matter when all her adult siblings rolled their eyes at her. She wasn't intimated, she wasn't easily hurt when she knew something it was said and explained right away. I loved this about her! As a child I watched her in awe of this life force, of this spit fire spirit she carried within her. While my own mother was usually very silent, very easily annoyed by all of her husband's family members. She would sit giving me that mothering "look", a warning of how I shouldn't adore my Aunt Veta like I clearly did!
Aunt Veta was the mother of my only 2 friends in the world cousins Trina and CallyAnn. How happy I was to be with these 3 people all at once, how I loved them and liked getting away from my own parents to learn new things from these fun ladies. It wasn't always perfect and I am not saying they were all angels or fairies but they were my own family who saw me so young, so full of questions and conversations.....I was truly starving for love. They ALL knew this, they gave me such comfort and love that helped me grow up to be who I am today!
All of my aunts would share with me now how they saw me so little and so wide eyed trusting yet controlled by parents to display perfection. I was just another D in the family to follow in line like the family of ducks in the park. While visiting my extended family I became my own person, not the other Debby in the family anymore;
Grandma Eva called out from the dinning room "Debby!" as she sat playing card games with more family members I came running from my hallway of playing with all the toys, at the very same time my mother popped out from doing the dishes in the kitchen. "YES?" Mom and I asked at the same time, the dinning room full or people laughed at us. Grandma explained she needed my mom and not me this happened all the time but when I would assume they were looking for my mother I would get in trouble for not coming when I was called, it was so confusing! Aunt Veta announced loud and clear "It's time Debby had her OWN name....She will be called "Little Dee" and then you can be your own person." Aunt Veta winked at me as I left the room feeling very proud to have a nickname. 
It was one of those memories I may share over and over again because I finally felt like I belonged in the family.
Last fall when I heard my nickname all the time, I was felt with that same feeling of belonging. The Aunts and cousins all had a retreat/reunion I was truly happy to be there, to see us all grown up and wiser. Most importantly to see us all loved as the beautiful women we are! Along side our memories with our nicknames, terms of endearment and confident smiles there is a good family connection that looking back over all the years I am proud to have been a double D!

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