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Thursday, December 15, 2016

Jesus the Nazarene

(Nazarene is a title applied to Jesus, who, according to the New Testament, grew up in Nazareth,[1] a town in Galilee, now in northern Israel. The word is used to translate two related terms that appear in the Greek New TestamentNazarēnos (Nazarene) and Nazōraios(Nazorean). The phrases traditionally rendered as "Jesus of Nazareth" can also be translated as "Jesus the Nazarene". 
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia)

Since I grew up in Christianity, I know it like the back of my hand!

Taking my mother to her ladies retreat in Cascade Idaho that first weekend in October this past fall made me realize this is always going to be in my blood.

The music coming from chapel in my mother's Nazarene retreat for her birthday weekend was like stepping back in time for me! I was blown away by how it had not changed in my last 30 years!?!?   

I have changed, I am not the same 7 year old girl running up and down the church circling stairwell singing "Jesus loves me this I know." to the smell of old carpet and old wood.

The good times at church, those memories of us all being together. In the praying, in the singing and most importantly in the laughing of a shared faith. All of those family members, all of those religious views coming together for the better of the family.

 I liked being reminded while at the retreat with my mother about those good times in my childhood, and she still needs to believe in the same way as back then, she still needs to feel God's love and purpose for her life especially now after her stroke, she told me that it's having his promises which gives her comfort in living paralyzed now.

I can understand how she feels, how she thinks. I admire her for not giving up in such negativity but it amazes me at the same time with everything we now know about the bible and how it was actually created, That she keeps to her original faith. Knowing about every religion in all of history manipulating the public for political use and mind control with so much guilty put upon people who want to please God....can't keep me loyal to a religion with so many mistakes and problems in it.

My mother looked so beautiful singing songs she had memorized and I liked the idea of God healing and comforting her, it was beautiful when it was focused on God's grace and God's unconditional love for her, I saw the good things among all the lies and crazy rules.....It was good to be apart of her world for a weekend.

I realized why I liked having my family all together while I was growing up and actually we could of all been from Mormonism, or the Kingdom Hall, we could of been loyal Catholics, instead we were modern day "Christians." as a kid all I cared about was being together, Jesus the Nazarene whose portrait hung off to the side of the stage at my Grandparents church was the one I prayed to and thought of as I grew up truly loving that place so familiar and friendly.

I can't go back to not knowing everything crazy and chaotic about religion, but I can enjoy remember the simple good times when it was easy for me to just taking my parents word for it and to hold hands around the dinner table in prayer in being grateful for our food and our family.

Not having the clear cut answers for my life makes it wide open for adventure and possibilities, I can sit with my Mom listening to her talk about the bible study or the worship service in such genuine delight, I am grateful for all these things to think about again and to question even more about my past and why I am so strongly happy in who I am today.....

Jesus the Nazarene will always be there stuck in time, never changing and never leaving his own huge famous photo of spiritual wonder and he will always be in those same songs full of his praises......a rather odd thing to understand, no wonder the human life is so short it gets weary of living through things on repeat!
Another 100 year from now that same story about Jesus leaves another 7 year old girl asking "Why was dying the answer to blame all of us for his suffering?"

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