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Thursday, December 22, 2016

Facing Facebook

It's always fascinating to me how many times a year Facebook can change.

How many formats it can upload, upgrade and upend my regularly schedule life style steps.

Back when I first joined I really loved how easy it was to get online, to see all my friends listed with the updated status report. 
I liked how easy it was to respond and to connect while on  facebook, then I realized my relationships with my extended family was no longer one sided, for I grow up mailing out long thick letters and hoping they will respond soon, like in the next month.

It was instant admiration and adoring connections! 

Growing up in a big family my Grandma loved to be the family gossip queen, she would come for a visit with the latest family dramas. I ate it all up, every word and every situation my Grandma gave me! 
She controlled how all of her children saw each other, and how they took sides in arguments and personal battles. 
It was very clear to me that I never really knew all these people in my life until Facebook came out into the world!

We were all able to reconnected online, this open doors to our family history unlike anything ever before! When friendships grew from our shared past, the "whole story" was finally known! and I ate it all up in true magic and wonder of how good facebook is for us all!
When my cousin needed a place to stay for a night away from our Grandma when they came to town, I loved seeing him again, being friends like always.
 We were really truly adults now so this gave us the grace to look back at such a woman as our Grandma always was and talk about it more. We didn't it so personal, as we wanted to understand it more while supporting each other when we had to face her. I was so impressed by how facebook gave us more insight to each other's lives, and  I shared with him that I had stood up to our Grandma many years back face to face in person. To which she never liked me again.... 
He then explained that she really really like him but was still a handful! We laughed together having survived the same big family all those years later!

Facebook brought us all out into the open, the honesty and the family history, nothing could be avoid anymore!

When I was 30 years old at a family BBQ, Grandma spat out "I HATE facebook!" while visiting around a warm cozy firepit at my Aunt Vee's home. I didn't miss a beat with her as always in correcting her I laughed back "Well of course you do! facebook allows all of your kids to be friends without you! They all have so much more in common then they ever realized before...imagine that!" I winked at her and walked on knowing she was glaring into my back as I went...
Of course I had already corrected her rudeness a couple of times that evening so she was really disliking me! I patted her arm saying "Just say "Thank you." and don't be rude." she hissed at me in fire eyes and I nodded like a mother does to an unruly child.
When it came to my Grandma I had no room for her usual antics.

I admire facebook for bringing about that family BBQ, for having us feel closer to each other with personal profiles revealing our many hobbies and skills, it gave us more depth to each other that I truly was impressed!

Back then my best friend was a "mysterious FB user." she loved to share just enough to make everyone ask for more, which often had me calling her on the phone to talk in person the second I read on FB a cryptic message from her I was calling for more!
And she loved it, leaving the people on FB to know but not know anything about her!

There was a time when my very difficult Grandma attacked me on Facebook, rudely venting and I was taken by surprise but I wasn't left feeling "Unloved" in any way. I think that was what she trying to do so instead I retorted in the nicest direct way that left my husband so mad at the whole situation even more. 
He questioned me about it all asking "What are you a "Push over"??? Give her a piece of her own medicine!" 
I understood that he wanted to protect from being bullied, so I explained to him "I choose to be respectful first and foremost, I don't have anything to prove to her even if I made a great defense against what she is saying, she wouldn't learn what I want her to learn about healthy boundaries so it all comes down to kindness, to my honest care for her well being and not what is right or wrong. I grew up surrounded by bullies, they never win in the end......they never really go away as well. So why not be the best person I can be in facing them?" 
That moment in my facebook history was profoundly moving to all the surrounding viewers who saw how Grandma and I were communicating, how she was rudely challenging me and had been gossiping about me in such a wrong way with the rest of the family, so I also knew this was long over due, her attacks on me where so justified in her eyes. I stayed strong the whole time in facing her knowing my life won't loose it's love and joy from anything she said in the end.

Those following weeks after Grandma had attacked me online, My heart was busting forth such awe of all the support I received in the aftermath. I had reconnected to so many extended family remembers who wanted to send me a hug over handling myself very well with Grandma. I hadn't thought about everyone else reading and watching us, it surprised me and bewildered me in all these new friendships I received after such a bullying battle, I was in awe over the wonders of facebook!

   I realized during that time just how important facebook is our world, along with validation, with judgement, with misunderstandings and with history in the making we are apart of it ALL....
It's a powerful freeing society that churches fight against and the governments will want to own!
We the people come to facebook for many different reasons, it's a world entirely of it's own. We are becoming more aware of the bigger picture, the whole story brought to us through many different life stories!

Maybe this is even bigger then I can grasp, for the newest generation will not be going back to the old days of a news paper with a set agenda. 
Instead they will be leading the way for the next big thing, and no doubt joking about how long it takes to send an email!

           I sadly sighed saying "Facebook needs music playing all the time like on "Myspace", I sure miss that feature!" my husband groans back over his shoulder at me form the computer "Oh annoying that would be!"  
I frowned back at him explaining "Sharing music is insight to the soul!" He laughed while shaking his head "Well, there sure are a ton of annoying souls out there then." 
I burst out laughing at him as I put my own music on!

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