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Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Grim, Is The Name of the Reaper

Death comes like a fast wind, or on a stormy night. Or maybe death comes with the sun light? How do we know when death walks by? Do we see the dark shadow?
Grim doesn't sound like he would very many friends actually....Grim, is the name of the reaper. I know I wouldn't want His job!
Yet Death touches each of us at a different moment in this shared time. The world spins with the living and the dying. The dying disappearing and the living pushing out the end of their own time.
My neighbor died a week ago, Art Mayor. This old man was always wandering around the condo gardens from his red brick home on the other side of our lilacs. He made fun of me one spring afternoon when it was my 3rd trip out to cut the lilacs. "Don't they sink?' He asked me and I laughed "I don't think so! I love the unique smell." And on that very first summer night in our condo, with all the bedroom windows open and boxes everywhere, Tony and I flopped down on the bed exhausted from moving. The sudden loud hacking noise from Art's smoke filled lungs made Tony and I burst out laughing into our bed pillows, while rolling into each other to not be overheard giggling, Art hacked for a good 5 minuets every night for the rest of his life another 7 years from that moment. One night a few years ago I got alarmed it was about 11pm and there was no hacking sound of our neighbor. "Did Art die?" I worried, I had gotten use to his schedule of sounds. I always liked Art, he was very a happy neighbor. He liked all kinds of jokes and always seemed to be laughing over something. He also never wore a shirt and his wild gray hair stood up at the sides. I could tell instantly if he didn't have his teeth in, for as I was gardening he would come up across the yard with a cigarette talking to me and I would have to stop to focus on what he had just said. Art was also the one to tell me I had my very first tomato growing that first summer, I hugged him and jumped up and down squealing! He thought I was odd, but said he loved growing tomatoes too. The hours we chatted and walked about the condos talking about gardening was always fun. He had his own set of dog stories too, whenever he bent down to pet Oscar he would share one. When it came to always being home Art and I usually were, In his garage he watch those old western movies with the door up waving at me as I drove in from the park with Oscar. Art was also the one to tell me when the Humane society truck was driving around (they took our soon-to-be cat Tinker Belle). Good neighbors are actually hard to find, but visiting last night with Janet about her husband Art made me happy to be apart of this little condo community. Janet is a good grounds keeper, she is not someone to mess with and I fortunately never had to face her over any issue. She and I have join each other in facing other neighbors or to find out what is going on in our shared yards. I also like telling her all I know and see around the place, she loved her husband and they were such a funny couple. She said last night that it is good to have neighbors, We told her we would miss Art too. I knew I had felt Grim walking around this place, he was walking among the lilac bushes and left a path in the winter's yard the very day that Art died. This was before I even knew, I just Felt it.
Death doesn't scare me, doesn't confuse me or even threaten me. I can feel death like an icy cold rain drop, or a foggy mist shadowing out the sunshine. Death can also sparkle among the morning light or on those starry nights. I am not morbid, Gothic or even spiritual. I just respect death, and Grim needs our utmost respect.
God and Grim walk hand in hand, side by side (At least that is how I picture it). There isn't a battle of "good vs. evil" or even that popular "us vs. them". Death comes to us ALL, For it is as natural as being born only at birth it is the beginning of life stories. The end of life stories don't always inspire others like they should. We are always trying to grasp death as we go on living once we have seen him. Grim will sometimes take the time to look the still alive right in the eye, The first time I saw him I was startled, now I just tip my hat in honor. To try and capture him or to stop him, can only come from the other power out there. We like to call this other power...God. Why does death get tossed aside when the living seek out God? Maybe they are even the very same thing. No one, I do mean NO ONE can answer this for me. I am happy to just keep asking such things and keep on living, I will die someday. I know when that moment comes I will be ready, I might even be ready right now? I will not be afraid because I see how everything is connected. If only I could come back and share what I  learned on those travels of death then I would!  
(No doubt that would be my best blog EVER too) Since I know I can't, it is more comforting to me in my unanswered questions. Not knowing exactly what death is or where our soul will go helps me make up my own ideas. With my beautiful imagination I can create my own happy ending!! I can capture my own hope in my own strength! When I die, I will die on my own. This is much more magical to me then to be told ahead of time what death is like. In a religious system people want an absolute, an escape to somehow save themselves from death and unknown after life.....since I, having been raised in that system, realized that no one actually knows anything at all! I have been able to be brave in ways I didn't know possible! Death is still a mystery even in the bible, though faith is also mentioned, Faith gives peace of mind. I have my own faith too! I know death can not be fooled, nor be changed or stopped. I can not say for sure that there is a place called "Heaven". That there is even anything after death for no one knows.....maybe you could choose to be a fairy or an angel after you die? These kind of stories are nice to wonder hope that when Grim knocks on our door we can be brave. We can still have hope in the next journey we take, I think it is important to be ready, to not be afraid, to know some questions can't be answered. The only truth is you are never really all alone as you die....
God and Grim are your friends too!

1 comment:

  1. Awesome! Good writing Debby. Yes we always have hope, and that's a great thing. Hope springs eternal.