Bubbles

The cold early fall evening had me out front in my yard watering and weeding. Suddenly my miniature schnauzer Oscar ran by, I shot up in alarm for he had discovered an open area to run free from the big backyard. Just as I caught him up in my arms a striped tiny kitten shot down the sidewalk with seeking cries for food. My husband Tony was being drop off at home from his law school all within a few seconds of each other as I said out loud while carrying my dog back inside "Look! A Kitten!" Tony didn't stop to pet or make eye contact with the wild thing that perched on the red brick frame by the front door. "DO NOT FEED IT, Debby I mean it. NO!" I chuckle as I saw to my own 3 dogs and 2 full grown cats needs first. My life is full of activities with these pets and chickens, so as I cooked dinner the tiny kitten cried at the open door by the screen in hopes to melt my heart. YET I stayed strong in only petting it and giving it water. That late night before bed as I look around the yard I wished it a safe and good night, hoping it had left to find a comfy home.....
The very next day was my big bbq for my parents and siblings, it rained and clouded over among such noise and activities of people seeing my home for the first time. Then this same kitten sat in the center floor of my kitchen when I walked in and smiled! "Hello again." was all I had time to say and among my many family members the kitten was instantly loved! That late late night my cousin took him home, yet that situation wasn't working out very good. My husband named the kitty "Bubbles" and as we look for a family for it, I think it will be fun to have a youngster in home again! (by the way trying to take a picture of a kitten is like trying to capture a whale in the ocean!! Almost impossible!)

The Bird Stop Coffee House

    In that first night on my own, while house sitting in Caldwell Idaho, I happily visited The Bird Stop Coffee House where my Uncle Matt and Aunt Karen have been creating a wonderful coffee shop!
    Now Caldwell looks so different from back in my first apartment days, (Over a decade ago) Back then when Perkins was the only nice restaurant in the area. I remember so clearly when the car wash building fell into the under ground hidden creek in the center of town, and I asked bewildered after discovering the natural body of water under there "Why in the hell would you want to cover OVER a natural beautiful creek to build a town???" 
So that situation began opening up the beautiful Indian Creek that had been buried under buildings and streets, changing the old abandon town to look more historic, classy and cozy now with a wide open area for that creek to breath!  It's really so Lovely!
I loved my walks on the bridge, the trails and through the old town buildings. It was both reflective and inspiring to see these changes for the better! Then I rested on the patio of The Bird Stop Coffee House with a live band playing, also getting to enjoy great conversations with my many cousins. The whole week being able to pop into the coffee shop was simply all PERFECT to me!
Caldwell is thriving in fun new little shops, family friendly activities and also a great steak house. The Bird Stop has jam sessions for everyone to try out their talents on stage, along with a hot dog stand and a variety of fun coffee beverages. I noticed how people mingled, gathered together over visiting and hugging each other, laughing and being a community! They talked about music, politics and even sometimes they got up to dance in the perfect summer sunset, all from such a coffee shop, from a family working together to make a business feel like a home! .....I liked watching it all!
        Those mornings walking in the lovely grape vines sloping down towards the creek, watching the water wheel spinning and feeling the soft green grass made coming up from the back way to The Bird Stop very peaceful. I visited with old friends I would bumped into, pet dogs passing by and laughed along side strangers over the Classic Car show with little kids saying such cute funny things! I liked seeing events like this unfold in a place I grew up!
Then when I had a moment to stop and sit I drank my hot roasted black coffee paired with a glazed croissant, My Aunt told me those croissants were her favorite too, perfect for their coffee shop! Spending so much time at the coffee shop during that week made me feel like apart of the town I once knew, getting to know more of my cousins and sitting with my Aunt were things that I really treasured! 
AND when I took a bite of the glazed croissant I was amazed at how delightful, melting in your mouth like butter it tasted!
Sooooooooooo If you ever need a good coffee place while in Caldwell Idaho, 
don't forget to swing into THE BIRD STOP COFFEE HOUSE.......It's Simply Delish!

Mixed Bag Goodbye

Yesterday at the Hy Park street Fair I was able to stop by the Mixed Bag Bazaar booth. The ladies have closed the doors of their shop down the road from where I live and I have been most sadden to see it end! That was one of my most favorite places to shop this last winter and now that my money has taken a turn for the lesser amount I feel like their going out of business sales were very hard to pass up! So lately I have been reflective in how just the last 12 months nothing stays the same. How my new friends will stay in touch but the places we see or go to will not be the same for long. Every few years relationships shift and souls grow up to move on but I like looking back to those delights in the simple calm moments of my life! The smell of sage and of lavender, of old books and fabric softener, along side miss matched furniture and sparkling jewelry, dishes and hand crafted art works. The sales clerks becoming my friends and hugging me on every visit, while talking those cold winter's afternoons away! We were full of our life stories to share and liked seeing how a community needs such stores as that once again! I will miss them at Mixed Bag and I will remember what perfect timing in going shopping there was for me! JUST when I needed a place I could walk to, a place I could step out of my own home for that amazing fresh air and warm sun light!

The Story of Home

It's not a secret that I love being HOME, that I am a really happy homemaker and could get lost in hours of house work with such delight and joy! Coming home after a week of house sitting had me rather annoyed....No one really see a messy house like I do nor find it so important to keep trash cans clean or sinks empty...BUT then again that is the story I tell myself. So maybe in what I think is the proper way of my home to be, isn't for everyone's standards therefore I can only control my own ways in how I live with a magical touch to envision loveliness and lavender everywhere!! I am very proud of my home as I live there, it's JUST the way I can create! In whatever home I occupy I will be this way, I will have these chores and ideas inside of me. For I love the peacefulness, the safety and most importantly the coziness in my own story of home!
The first weekend I was gone my husband called me saying how much he missed me, those laundry fairies and the lady who picks up his study everyday wasn't coming by! I always laugh when he makes these jokes, For I am on top of cleaning if it's in front of me to do! 
One evening Tony said "I woke up this morning with only one pair of socks left in the drawer and now tonight the drawer is full of fresh clean socks! It's like magic!" I smirked back at him"OH yes...just like magic, funny how that works!" 
After this past week with me not home, he sees once again the warmth disappear and house become dirty again....
At least I can feel like a fairy when I return to break down cob webs and gather up the trash. For my husband loves a clean home with food cooking in the oven, with a glass of red wine and chocolate during his favorite TV shows. He gets up or lays down saying the place is finally feeling like home again and I can hang my wand up with a sparkling wink and proud smile for where ever I live my home will be FULL of such goodness, of such love!

The Story of Him

When I first met my husband, I was very guarded to say the least....I was focused on all the opinions of others and all the fears in making a mistake for choosing a boyfriend with liberal views. My conservative backyard under high stress and true drama had me looking to change and grow! Meeting my husband was both refreshing and relaxing all at once. Even though I kept a very strong opinion on the dating world, along with the high standards I didn't like to be anything but truly honest in what I thought or did.
When Tony explained to me later on in our relationship that when he first saw me, he wondered what makes this girl so happy and so carefree? He soon realized I was purposely looking for the happiness and purposely wanting a good carefree life among the craziness. We created this kind of life with the help of each other in our friendship and in our love....and then that movie I mentioned yesterday "The story of Us" took over our main discussion time for awhile. I was amazed at how Tony hated the movie, he explained it was because his own parents were going through a very similar situation and I thought if anything the movie should help him see how his parents felt. The movie allowed for change without judgement or hope instead of fear. Shortly after that movie, our discussions about it and ALL Tony was going through he decided to brake up with me. Now I had been through quite a dramatic storm already with my own parents in having a boyfriend of a different faith and life style. So I was left a bit shocked on my own after he departed, THEN that movie really stayed with me on a new emotional level. It gave me a perspective on relationships that I hadn't thought about and it gave me a deep understanding on how important it is to face these issues or events in our lives right away, things that bug us or upset us can grow like weeds until the real relationship isn't seen anymore. I will never forget how I thought about that event of Tony saying if all of  life ends in a heart break then he doesn't want me to suffer like that......It gave me a great deal to think over at the time. For suddenly I sensed without Tony in my life I was now just simply myself. I felt such comfort by the understanding that either way with or without him I was STILL myself! It amazed me even a bit more to think how our happiness and belonging does not come from other people but of ourselves within the core of our own souls. So when I saw Tony again after that break up I ran up to hug him with ease for he will always be my friend no matter what! He then quickly asked me to be his girlfriend again, I chuckled at how over that weekend apart I had been balancing myself again in my soul searching knowing exactly what to say with a confident grin;
"I don't play those kind of games."   
His eyes grew wide with surprise then he broke out into full on laughter, I sat there with a frown as to why what I had just said was so funny to him? He responded quickly back "Oh I know! That is WHY I love you so much!" So then I kissed him!
I look back now over our years and can see how good it is to always be real, to simply be accepting to who we are as growing, learning individuals. The story of my husband, is that he came from a family that grew into 2 more parents and married me with his handsome smile saying "The story of Us is entirely our own to create!"  
and YES It IS!  
I really love the story of Tony!

The Story of Us

If I could only suggest one movie for those "Soon-to-be-married." it would be without a doubt this movie, 
"The STORY of US" 
When I saw this in the theater, I laughed and cried thinking to myself "Finally, a movie that shows a relationship in an honest way! Not only honest but very real and true!"
This movie was full of great moments, of a life time lived together and a family built around the real world. At the tiem my own marriage was approaching as I twirled and gusted leaving that theater after this movie was over! Oh how I remember dancing ahead of Tony talking about the great message of the film! I truly loved everything about it maybe more importantly I liked how reflective it was! A person's life can be capture or summed up so quickly in fact when you get to stop and look back!
I wouldn't change a thing I said that night about loving the movie, even now a decade later....My fiance' Tony stated how he hated it, how he thought it was just to much, over the top, for it was way to real and honest.He would never want to watch it again life is already depressing enough. He then mention maybe we shouldn't get married if that movie shows how it really is....I was surprised while I took from the movie real love and hope, honesty in struggling but a deeper meaning to life then just some wedding vows, or personal promises. Life isn't clear cut no matter who you live with or who you are. Then I realized He had the right to share how differently he saw this world then from me, it made me chuckle how so different Tony and I are or always will be.....that we are living in our own Story of US. It made me love the movie all the more and think about how important it is to never give up in being as real and honest as you can be with your partner! There is no one perfect love, no one perfect way to look at issues or even like the same movies. It's not about who wins or looses, who is right or wrong. It's just a full life of stories, of struggles and of smiles! What we choose to see or believe from it all can make us complete or simply send us on out into our own ways of being......Perhaps what I loved about this movie is I felt like Bruce Willis when he explains how he had this idea of marriage or a real love story then it changes....Then what I thought after watching the movie was it changes into something even bigger then only about 2 people! Live with Love always and never lie to yourself, Life will always find it's way!

  

Magical Moments

   This chilled morning had me and 4 dogs huddled together over the car heater and as I grabbed coffee from my cousin Mitch, in this small town of Caldwell I was thinking how sad it will be to leave, going back to my spot in Boise is really where my home is, yet being on my own has been truly peaceful!
The Nampa dog park is the best in the whole treasure valley!  I always spend a few hours here when I get to make it over! Oscar knows and loves the place well, We all made our way up the hill then I sit up there taking in the whole park below as Oscar runs laps fast and excited clear across the grounds like a dog so free and happy! He always watches for me from across that distance and I call out to him for being such a wonderful dog, people laugh as they walk by realizing that dog way out there is mine. When he runs ears back at full force I wish I could capture that beauty and strength forever!
Minnie had never been here before so she found it wonderful with her tongue out and nearby shade to rest in, her world is always a happy, good place to be! I love how calm and careless she is! her goofiness and her beautiful brown eyes have me falling in-love with her every new day!
Small sweet Sidda did her best to keep up with me when I ran or changed locations, she slept a bit in the sunshine in my arms, she isn't big into meeting new dogs and seems to soak up the sun light more then the others! Her tiny paws were muddy always but I like that kind of print on my clothes for I smile when she skips off to roll in more mud! Edison, or my Eddie as i call him isn't as chilled out as I would like but he watches my every move and command. We didn't have any kids at the park so I wasn't worried about him getting worked up and nipping. Old age has him groaning and moaning more but I have always been calm and focused on him. He trusts me completely, he liked stretching out in the green grass with me on the hill side watching the rest of OUR pack roam! My heart is where ever my dogs are, my life is completely beautiful for it too!
I think 4 different personalities in these dogs make for really good laughter and happy smiles! A perfect start to the day!

Stillness

It came to my attention the other day as I walked in the quiet park of such morning glow that I really love stillness. I have felt overwhelmed in many things changing these last few weeks, maybe even months to be honest! So it proves I really love still and quiet moments like those! I don't like a day filled with things to do or a set list already.....

     I feel like time is pushing up against my back saying "go! Go! GO!" and I want to put my hands up saying "No,Stop! and be still you crazy time!" I was explaining to someone about how busy my life has become right now and they replied How good it is to stay busy...People are funny to think this way! For I DO NOT agree at ALL! Stillness is my soul's food and my happiness!! How can you keep that away by being busy and justifying such business as a good thing???  I will never quite get it, nor will I want to! Give me peace and calmness before you give me a schedule to maintain! Good grief life isn't meant to be one job after another, our lives were meant for so much more and yet not everyone looks for that deeper thing in their time....I stand still in my own backyard look up at the sky and think to myself "This is my time to just breath and BE!" Thank you Stillness and peace of mind to care over my life! I stay young because I will not rush through time, I will be busy there is no avoiding this completely and I have responsibilities to care over. Yet I have never been lazy as well....just relaxed in completing my chores, projects and capturing time along life's path. I will never be one to like appointments and days gone with every hour planned out! The other morning I got to the mall before it opened and drank a pumpkin spice latte from my old coffee shop, I loved the stillness of the place so different and quiet. I walked the whole outline window shopping and leaving before society crowded me in! How magical was that beverage and peaceful was my mind?!? I need to do things in those kind of calm moments when I can find them more often and remind myself that stillness teaches me the great things about who I am even more!
So don't be afraid to be alone with yourself in the stillness of time!

Steak

The first night in Caldwell for this week of dog-sitting, I knew while I watered the gardens and played in the fenced in backyard with the dogs. Surrounded by peacefulness and beauty of the valley below, I knew that tonight I was kicking it up downtown at the best the steak house and saloon! Taking in the sunset at my uncle's coffee shop full of his kids to befriend. It ended up being far better of a night as I walked the park and thought about these soft warm evenings changing into the fall once again.
The bar in the basement of Indian Creek steak house is one of my favorite places to hang out for the bartender is a true cowboy, years of stories with his graying handle bar mustache. I sat happily by the country music screen reading fun facts of the musicians as they played while I ate. I like doing things on my own all the time! I meet more people then ever before if I am alone out in the world, I am not distracted with my focus on the person I am with. I like deciding suddenly I want to take a walk with no objections or voting on what to do next. I am not complaining being around someone is just as enjoyable as being all alone is what I  am trying to convey. In Caldwell I fall into memory lane for this is where I came from mostly, I like being inspired to write and share my stories while walking out on my own in the sunset of the end of day. 

As that 16oz steak came I ate happily on my own, visiting with my friends, the owners, then sometimes laughing at the over heard jokes from the lively group at the bar. I took in my gin and tonic slowly as the whole steak disappear perfectly in my tummy! Lately I have been seeing old friends who step back in awe at how skinny I am right now and I forget that I have really changed in the last 2 years. I meant it fully with joy and hope for everyone else when I say "It's eating steak and bacon everyday, honestly it is! Truly a WONDERFUL diet and now well my perfect lifestyle!" If people ask me then I will tell them with pride, how I have become healthier....for I love to eat STEAK all the time! It's a great taste in life with such easy delight to be made well again! I sat there lost in thoughts and songs, peaceful with an empty plate and my happy smile in that saloon singing along to an old country song when the bartender exclaimed in awe at me "WOW, How did a little gal like you eat all of that steak??" I laughed back and said "Easy! It was really GOOD and I was looking forward to it all day while working in the gardens!" Thinking to myself that it was also funny to be called "A little gal" even when I was a little girl I was never called that....amazing how gluten keeps us chubby and struggling so much, when really all we need to live is a perfect grilled steak!

Logical

This Logical song will explain it perfectly! I think it's a clever song in wondering who are we after all is asked from us? Whenever I try to "fit in" I'm usually left to realize that I stick out like a sore thumb, so it's not a bad thing to me just an honest way to see myself! THEN I get lost in singing along to this song and feel instantly better! Have a Happy Sunday sing-a-long also!

Mrs. Doubtfire

The movie "Mrs. Doubtfire" came out when I was around 14 years old and my Grandma Norma took me to see it as a luncheon out. It was so nice to be on my own with her in the theater like that! I rarely if ever saw a movie like that in a public setting. I think that is why it was such an important moment and memory in my life! The movie wasn't exactly what Grandma thought it would be and she said that often through out those uncomfortable "modern moments" of the film. Robin Williams can be blunt as well as extremely funny. He isn't bothered by the rules as he often makes fun of them, people gasp and step back when he makes his voices to talk about sex or body parts. I can see why my Grandma wasn't thrilled over this film in the end but for me I think it changed my life and I truly love it! So lately this movie came back into my memory as I have just finished my first week as a Nanny. I inspire to be as classy as Mrs. Doubtfire in that perfect dinning room table scene, it's not hard to be nanny if you like kids and can treat them with respect. I have never had a problem in visiting with children and I love being a homemaker this made the job truly delightful!

 Looking back from when I saw movie I learned about divorce thinking it was such a sad situation, yet I wondered about life and love changing over time for people in that way.  I decided while watching it that staying together just for the kids makes life even more sad, with missed opportunities, it's rather a tricky topic for everyone, and each story is personal to themselves. I think divorce is misunderstood way to often, judged to quickly by those who have never dealt with it and should never be seen as a failure. I think it's more like grabbing a new book to read when the other one has ended...Life is like that never actually ending but full of life lessons, some love stories can keep up and some just get laid to rest. This movie taught me that, helped me stop worrying or judging the topic so strictly.

 When my Grandma said to me as we left the theater where we had just seen "Mrs. Doubtfire" I wiped a few tears from my eyes feeling new emotions in myself. She walked one arm in mine as we were about the same height at the time, She was always short and cute saying as we walked "Well now that was a waste of time and money, I feel so depressed." I chuckled and nodded thinking silently to myself that I wished during the movie that my own parents would get a divorce, since they were so clearly unhappy just like that. Imagine how peaceful Mom would keep our home? How my father would only come around at Christmas times in his favorite holiday then we would only remember him as happy and good. Yet here I am almost 20 years later from seeing that movie and it never happened to my parents, this ideal divorce I was thinking would be nice. My understanding now is that my mother's judgement, her words spoken to me have lasted in my mind more then any emotional explosion my father had....there would have not been a perfect happy family either way it went I can see that now. THIS is the real issue with divorce or not divorced families, friendship should always come first before being related or sharing the same blood. Friendships WILL out last or create new families!

My favorite part of this movie after re-watching over the years, is the last line Mrs. Doubtfire says about Love in his new Tv show;

"There are all sorts of different families, Katie. Some families have one mommy, some families have one daddy, or two families. And some children live with their uncle or aunt. Some live with their grandparents, and some children live with foster parents. And some live in separate homes, in separate neighborhoods, in different areas of the country - and they may not see each other for days, or weeks, months... even years at a time. But if there's love, dear... those are the ties that bind, and you'll have a family in your heart, forever. All my love to you, poppet, you're going to be all right... bye-bye." 

And Know....

Our Roommate

I completely understand why everyone keeps asking how is living in our new place with a roommate going, a rather odd situation to move into a place with a young man already established upstairs. I never really was concerned but I live in my own world also....Maybe I am not a good judge of such things. The first night our roommate returned home after we had moved in, I was wide awake listening to the moments in the dark house at One am, my 3 dogs didn't make a sound! They just laid into me a bit more closer snoring, knowing I was watching over them. My husband Tony suddenly spatted out "What in the World, the hell is wrong with these dogs?!?" JUST as I whispered at the very same moment "Good doggies!" I was very proud there was no alarm barking or actions from them, Tony now sat straight up explaining "WE COULD HAVE BEEN KILLED IN OUR SLEEP! Bad Doogies! Bad! WAKE UP and Bark for shit's sake!" I was giggling at his panic, I sat up to pet each sleeping pup.....
THIS is how different we are, I look at the silence of the dogs on that first night with our roommate getting home as a triumph of good dog behavior while Tony felt it was wrong. He said our dogs should be growling or warning us someone was IN our home. Although He has come a long ways in over the last 2 months trying to understand our roommate or not taking things so personal, my husband has never had a roommate before. A fact that was clear to me right away, so I have had a few conversations and discussions on the kind of rules in having a roommate.
Every so often I think it's odd, having a roommate who doesn't talk much or hang out with us, I like clear cut conversations and honesty so when I get a vibe that I'm the only one talking or sharing the week's events I remind myself that we are all different peoples around here. To me when I leave home for a while it's important everyone knows my plans, our roommate is more of the disappear with no goodbye chat then pops back in at random. I am trying not to compare my mannerisms, for I know exactly how I am. Like in house cleaning I am my own person, comfortable no matter what to just clean!! and I will not change my ways now for whoever I live with, a clean home IS my home. I own it, I will not wait on anyone else to do the work for me, I don't take it personal if the dishes are not mine to wash or the bathrooms need touch ups. I love my homemaking self, it's not that bad sharing a home when I am the type of person to care over people, never ignore them unless of course they WANT to be ignored. My wonder at having a roommate is more in how can I talk honestly without being misunderstood or left to guess at how I sounded? When my roommate was cuddling with his girlfriend on the couch one evening I tried not to invade their space as I quickly raced outside meeting my husband already there, He saw me looking for something to do in my awkwardness saying out loud from the lawn chair "I shall think of this home as student housing..." Then I laughed so hard shaking my head at our new place. Adjustments, challenges or understandings are all apart of life, now in our new home we are making everything work out just fine. YET I'm always ready for THAT look each person gives me when they ask "SO how is living with the roommate?" The looks make me chuckle in my reply, I always answer in the same way each time as well, "He's never really around, he's not much for chatting so for all I know everything is just fine..." How funny it is, for unless actually spoken to directly trying to figure people out or ever knowing they might be mad at me isn't something I worry over, it's just the way I am again in my own world until given more knowledge to work with. So unless anything changes the story of our roommate is; that he's a young man who lives here but also has a kind, sweet girlfriend who he is with more, and it's quite naturally a good setup all around! At least so far that is what I know:-}

The Fair 2012

        Every year I get ready with ice coffee and my I.D. badge! I love that moment when I first smell kettle corn and roasted almonds! When people ask for my advice, and I feel all special inside, even though I am not really all that important at the fair.....I think this was the best year so far in organization and good times, My co-workers are great friends by now, my time in learning everything helps me not need my boss so much for answers. I like that first day walking through every square inch of the setup, of the rides coming alive in lights and the awesome fact there are no crowds yet.....The Fair never gets old even if we do!
My job is all over the place everyday in doing things and being with people! I can setup a game or wash dishes after a taste test. I can sit at the table adding scores or act out the contest for participates! 
One summer evening the purple hazy sky had me out in the middle of it all cheering on people to play instant cash family friendly games! I looked out at the surrounding mountains thinking how wonderful it is to be alive! As the Fair unfolded I took it all in everyday! My job is truly full of awesomeness and wonderful people!