As Kind Ken and I were chatting about our lives on that plane flight into Denver Colorado from Boise Idaho this past April, he was continuing on to Dallas Texas while my husband and I were going on to Orlando Florida. I was very sad to say goodbye when we landed but thrilled to have made a delightful new friend! For Ken loves his gardens and his peach trees, loves his home and neighborhood too, we really had loads of things in common! We talked about how to care for those stone fruit trees, how important bugs and bees are to the gardens....The time flew by as we flew through the sky with all those topics consuming us. I truly enjoyed all of his advice, I asked many questions and explained how I hope to have all my gardens growing in the best way possible soon.
We both asked for refills on our coffee cups and then he chuckled when we got our new coffee "You like your coffee black too, huh? Ya know most people your age have those frap-o coffees or mocha somethings...." I laughed happily nodding in agreement explaining "Oh well now I did like all those kind of drinks, even worked at Starbucks but after awhile my taste buds changed and I can't do sugar like that anymore. Bring on the black coffee for me." Ken replied thoughtfully "The less sugar you have now at your age the healthier you will be at my age." I smiled brightly in complete agreement.
Ken commented while looking out his window seat of the plane, the sunrise was purple and pink turning slowly orange right before our eyes as we continued to chat away. Ken was such a handsome older man in his 70's, I could clearly see how good looking he was in his earlier days and believed him when he explained he had many girlfriends as a bachelor, for he had a truly happy life all around! He simply just LOOKED very happy as he sat next to me.
I loved how he visited softly, thoughtfully with such good humor. We never had a silent awkward moment it was as if we had always know one another our whole lives. Ken commented while looking out his window saying "I have just one moment in my life I regret, one moment I am STILL ashamed of myself over....." I sat surprised and leaned in closer to him thoughtfully as he explained it was in the 60's when the whole civil rights events were unfolding, he was a young new school teacher at a grade school in heart of the south. His classroom was full of kids and there was this one young Indian girl lived right across the street so she could walked to his class. He was stunned, even shocked when the authorities came right into his class lesson and dragged her out. Her screaming and her fear makes him so mad now that He didn't DO anything to save her at the time. He was so mad that they came and took her out of his classroom like that! Ken sighed as he explained "I did NOTHING, I just stared at the whole thing unfolding as she cried and fought them to stay, I just kept on teaching and acting that had not JUST happened!....I ended up quitting from that school a week later but the guilt stays with me always. I SHOULD have stopped them from dragging her out like that! I COULD have said something or stood in their way to protect her...." Ken's eyes glossed over as I replied quickly back at him "But instead YOU were a hero to those other children left in the room after such a dramatic event like that! No doubt they were shook up too! So really you showed bravery in NOT bursting out crying over that child being taken or fighting with those men who took her as all those children watch on looking to you to keep them safe. You WERE very brave for the rest of your classroom! and really Moments like that teach us to remember what we can do next time. You shouldn't have shame or guilt as the teacher you stayed calm as this craziness unfolded, no doubt it was a surprise and often when we are taken by surprise we are left bewildered unsure for a few moments until we can think it through, it wasn't your fault. YOU were right where you needed to be for the rest of that class and that little girl knew by the look on your face that it was not your call, not what you agreed with. Perhaps that is why she wanted to stay with you so deeply, she knew what a good kind school teacher you were." Ken chuckled and smiled back at me in replying "I never thought about it like that, I always thought I had failed, I had frozen up in what to do next that if I could just go back now... I KNOW EXACTLY what I would have said or done. If I could go back I would have kept her in my classroom and wouldn't be afraid to fight!" I nodded with a sympathetic feeling hoping Ken didn't see himself as a coward anymore. THIS proves what I see all the time a TRUE hero never knows who they are as a hero, they never believe as the rest of the world can so clearly see it. Ken sighed after his emotional story "It's the one moment in my life I wish I could change, to protect that little girl and take a stand for what is right." I smiled back at his thoughtful face in my reply saying "It's having lived through such a moment like that which makes you aware of how it could happen again and next time you WILL be ready for it!" He laughed in agreement and was smiling again as our topics in conversation kept moving forward in a true real sense of connection. How important to remember in our failed moments we still learn how to be brave or how to change the way we handle the first time we were faced with this kind of drama. Our mistakes or lack of answers teach us to grow from that moment on......there is NO shame in life's lessons, no guilt in living through it. For what we didn't do or didn't know yesterday taught us how to change for today! We will make tomorrow perfect after all is said and done, after all we have learned from one another!
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