The Secret Lives of.........AUNTS

A week ago I embarked on a new adventure. Last Friday morning I drove up highway 95 with my auto book playing and drinking my favorite spicy tomato juice. The morning sky was vibrant and glowing with the chill of the fall season. Up North in Sandpoint was awaiting my Auntie Val, who found me on facebook and we enjoyed long phone conversations. I had promised her I would come up and visit yet all this past summer never seemed to work out as hoped. When I promise something I always follow through, this is why I never make declarative statements like "I am going to Mexico" or "I will see Paris." Because in all honesty those things are more out of my control. I would feel bad if I didn't follow through with a promise. A week ago from today I was excited and ready to give my Aunt a big strong hug! Since I come from such a big extended family...I realized there are some aunts I have never really got to visit with growing up. My Auntie Val not only wrote me back every time I wrote her during my difficult teenage years. But she lived in the same small town of St. Maries Idaho that her and my Father's Parents lived. Allowing for our big family visits to be so special to me. For Auntie Val would request from my parents to have me sleep over, feeling so comforted and special she would do my hair and play with make up. We would laugh the whole time over stories and baked cookies. We would go for ice creams and shop with lattes in hand. Her only son and I bounded  quite easily. Henry and I always stuck together when everyone else was around. He often got chewed out for bossing other kids around but I thought back then that if you are an only kid sometimes you can't help but know what is best for everyone.

So last weekend was my first visit in almost 10 years. Maybe most importantly it was my own visit without my Parents watching me, keeping me in check of who I could or couldn't talk to. 
I had a really great trip in seeing all my Aunts and my Cousins for who they are and not what was previously told to me in how I should think of them. I loved my trip in full by all the beauty, all the laughter and all the love that is and has always been there. My Father was the oldest in his family, so when I heard someone say "This is Delbert's oldest" at the Big family BBQ Saturday evening. I smiled to myself thinking just how true my Father and I are alike in some ways. The Klein Family is vibrant, vocal and energized. There are many members to these gatherings but not all of them can be heard or even noticed if by chance they were of a quieter nature. I was able to really enjoy the hugs and smiles. The stories and the memories, My Grandma was there after all. Though she has made it a point to let me know I am nothing special. There was a time as a child I idolized her and the whole experience of visiting St.Maries. Though more from the part my Father didn't spank me as much when we were there, and that there were more arms to give me the desperate hugs I craved. I now see my Grandma for the real person she keeps so guarded. She is the mirror image of my Father, that I sometimes realize my frustration should be direct to Grandma and not to my Father after all. When at the BBQ on Saturday I asked myself 

"IF THIS person had been my Mother what kind of person would I be?" I realized just then that I stood there with my arms folded thinking over this question...Oh! Dear God! I exclaimed dropping my arms quickly and wrapping them around the shoulders of my newly connected family.

My Aunts somehow had to learn how to deal with their manipulating mother, with her negative attitude and quick judgment. When she showed love, kindness and care those memories became historical. Something to cling to when the normal frustration and anger got in the way. In my eyes it isn't weakness to cry or to share how you really feel but in the presence of my Grandma I hear her frown and mumble "Grow up" under her breath. Some people never realize they can change, that it is never to late to be even a tiny bit nicer. For their pride or the way it has always been done can not dissolve into peace and joy over a fresh new start. I hugged my Grandma when I arrived at the BBQ saying "Oh it's good to see you and this weather! Isn't it so perfect for an outside fall BBQ!" She pushes her lips together in reply saying quickly "It's to Cold." I laughed while waving at her, I stated loudly "Well then GO INSIDE!" The simple truth is her negativity doesn't dampen my positive life anymore.

My Aunts;

Aunt Veta was born after my Father, She has such self confidence, a clear understanding of what she thinks and has a booming voice to convey it. She is a very strong person. Last weekend she reminded me of my sister Dana in almost every way of personality. They both are vibrant spit fire independent people, They have every right to be proud. My Aunt Veta opened up her home for my visit along with being now a Grandma herself , she takes joy in gardening, in her home and all her kids. It was Aunt Vee who named me "Little Dee" and I was so touched that she saw so clearly all those years ago the need in me to be different from my own Mother. Since everyone called my Mom "Debby" I would answer at the same time. Finally Veta said "This girl should have her OWN name! Who really wants to share the same name anyway?" She asked me making one of her cute slanted smiles that said "How ridiculous is that?" So from that day on I was "Little Dee" thanks to my protective Aunt Veta. Once when the family went through a scary time I remember how Aunt Veta held me and her daughter Cally close as we cried. I will always remember in awe how Veta stood up to my Father with no problem and that she didn't take shit from anyone. 

Aunt Chris was the 3rd in line of the Klein family, She was also the first Aunt to contact me a few years ago via facebook. She lives in Portland and through all the years of Klein family drama has been a bit more protected through that distance. I loved my visit with her a year ago when I flew in to meet face to face and to be able to have an actual hug. I believe in the positive way of  facebook bringing about a connection that when visiting in personal makes it feel like no time has passed between kindred spirits. My Aunt Chris is a good listener and she thinks about things before just speaking. When her husband Steve said she is the most giving, loving, gracious person he has ever known I could see it so true. Her friendship has become so naturally apart of my everyday life. I couldn't imagine not having such a sweet Aunt like her in my life. She remembers me when I was just a baby, when she thought there is no way this little girl should suffer so many spankings so young. I know it was her hope, her love that as a child I enjoyed sitting on her lap playing with her gold cross necklace by the fire. When I grew up watching her and my Mom argue, I often felt helpless in reconciling the situation. Then the day came when my mother declared we weren't visiting Aunt Chris in Portland anymore for she is a Liberal. I laugh at this memory for being a liberal myself  I still don't understand why the hostility? Now being around my Aunt Chris makes me feel so relaxed and so happy. How did I get so blessed with such amazing women in my life?

Aunt Kaisie was born after the twins boys. My Uncles that look almost identical Randy and Rudy. My Aunt Kaisie has beautiful red hair just like my own father. She use to babysit us little kids when she lived in Boise for awhile. Aunt Kaisie always brought my sister Dana a packet of grape bubble gum. We all got to enjoy it but for Dana and my Aunt Kaisie it was a special bond. Kaisie's laughter and her confidence reminded me very much of my Father. Over last weekend's visit I saw the same common sense that my father always had also in her. They have the same smile and that refreshing no nonsense way in visiting. I truly adore my Aunt Kaisie with her strong friendships she maintains in her family, the fact that she can be sensitive and strong at the very same time made me feel so hopeful in my own life. I often let myself over worry about things and get so emotionally tangled up in my fears but Aunt Kaisie simply stated "Everything will work out and it will be okay." Just made me smile so big and feel so happy when leaving her place. She was a happy presence at the BBQ, She listens and shares in the conversations with a twinkle in her eye and a hearty laugh that made me so happy to have such an Aunt as her!

Auntie Val was almost timeless in appearance, when I opened my hotel door to hug her I honestly couldn't believe she hadn't change or even aged in the last 9 or so years since last we met. Dinner was a perfect event in a quiet corner we laughed and talked like we always ate together. I loved learning of her new life in Sandpoint, listening to how much she is loved by her Hubby. It really was amazing to see how she has grown into herself more. How she as the baby of the family was making her own way through life, realizing how she could focus on her married life more letting the past rest in peace, I am proud of her and I will always encourage her not to be afraid to stand up for herself. She is also passionate in her faith, and in her religion. I understand how she feels. I can relate to having once that same passion, I think it's important to note that a friendship like hers isn't based on faith but of love. I love her just the way she is and know I can share myself in what may help her as she has always been there to help me. My Auntie Val can smile big and laugh just as much as I can! She said with such love "I was afraid you would forget about me, after your parents disowned me, then Trina and Cally moved away...But Mom said "They will never forget their Auntie Val."

I stop to hug my sweet teary eyed Auntie Val, saying "I have NEVER forgotten you! I love you!" 

I knew this trip was much more then just a weekend get away, this was closer for my heart and soul.