On my 10th birthday in January of 1989 I had my best friend Rebekah sleeping over. I was so thrilled in getting to use the sleeping bags on the floor in the small second bedroom of our trailer house in Meridian.
I had met Rebekah that fall at our Awanas program through Church on Wednesday nights. She had arrived late so the games had already begun, I remember seeing her at the door with a Team leader she was so scared and crying. Her long hair was up in a messy pony tail, she wore bright pink pants. I remember this moment because I thought of how I have cried when completely terrified also. Then I secretly hoped she wouldn't be put on our team because she doesn't know how to play the games yet. Winning was all I cared about at the time. In this Awanas program, Kids needed to memorize bible verses, play games and listen to a bible story. Everything was count by points the teams with the most points at the end of the night got the prize of a bag of candy bars. Now the four teams in my age group were known by colors. Green, Blue, Red and Yellow. I was a very proud Blue team member whose vendetta was against the Green team. The Green almost always won every week, I had originally started out on that team but it was a competitive group that I wasn't living up to the high standards. When asked who wanted to transfer over to the Blue Team in making the number of kids per team even. I gladly volunteered and quickly made friends with my new team. When Rebekah was sent to my team I knew I had to explain all the game rules for her so we could still collect our points. I had just finished my race around the game circle and came in second feeling so happy I slid into Rebekah with one arm on her shoulder like I had known her all my life. "Hi There, Welcome to the Coolest Team here!" She starred at me as I wait only for a second when she didn't reply I just continue on. "I am Debby, I just came in second place in our race. It looks like you are the last runner, so what you need to do when it's your turn is run around the circle faster then anyone else. Then when you get back here it's really important to go all the way around the blue bowling pin then straight in to grab the first place pin! If it's not there then go for the second and 3rd place bean bags. Don't stop even if you think you lost, just run it all the way out!" I smiled big at her bewilderment. "It's really fun to run so fast but if you need to take off your shoes it can help." I was putting back on my 80s style gray boots that had no traction. These were the days of the skinny jeans and bulky boots since I finally had both I just knew I was so cool!
Rebekah ran perfectly like I explained she came in second place too and I was beyond thrilled flying up in the air screaming. She hugged me when she returned to our team again, I declared her now one of the Cool people in Blue. The rest of the night whenever she would asked me a question I would explain in such great detail. I didn't want her to be scared anymore. I had often wished someone would have done that for me. It was so scary learning all these rules, games, points and contests, if you don't understand how they work then you feel real dumb when you mess up in front of everyone's laughter. The very next Wednesday night Rebekah had a note for me. I went away from the gatherings kids to read it. She had drawn a picture of us at Awanas, She wrote that she thought I was so cool and nice, she wanted to be my best friend. I could check yes or no at the bottom of the page. I remember like it was yesterday because no one had ever considered ME cool before. (At least not in those first 9 years of my life anyway)
Checking yes was so easy, we became inseparable. We would share our bibles, our notebooks and our stickers. She would put my hair into pig tails while I would give her a matching head band. Sometimes I would hear Rebekah say to someone "Don't mess with me I am Debby's BEST friend." We always saved each other a chair next to one another. It was the kind of friendship I really needed, a comfort away from the rest of the world.
So on our way home from picking up Rebekah for my Birthday slumber party. She leans over to me and whispered "I kissed a boy last night at church!" I was surprised because we always said boys were so gross. "What? Why?" I replied. She grin back at me "Because everyone wants a good first time kissing story." I let out a hollow of laughter exclaiming "Mom! Rebekah kissed a boy last night! isn't that funny and crazy!?" The sudden braking of the car threw us all forward and a car behind us honked loudly while passing. I was instantly embarrassed! My seat belt had been stretched out so I could move around easily, only to go slamming into the back of my moms seat. Now my sister gave me a look that said it best "YOU ARE SO STUPID." from her passenger seat. Mom was now completely hysterical and panicking. She didn't care that the car was stop in the middle of the neighborhood street. Her eyes came alive with such a deep secret fear. "WHAT!?" She squealed "What..? what on earth are you doing KISSING!? You girls are JUST KIDS this is ridiculous and terrible! I am so disappointed in you Rebekah. You can't go around just kissing boys, you should only kiss the boy you are going to marry! Not to mention you transfer germs when kissing on the mouth. Those boys at your age should be gross to you! You need to stay a little girl as long as you can! For boys will just cause you to SIN even more!! I don't know if you can be friends with Debby if you are teaching her how to kiss boys! That is just horrible. Girls will you please stop being stupid about boys? You should wonder what God thinks about you instead!" I had melted myself down the backseat like butter wanting so badly to take back my careless words and laughter. What I had thought was funny and strange really came alive in my mother to be so horrific! I was honestly scared to ask any more questions. Once mom began driving again, She said we girls need to pray more about the sin of kissing. I glanced sideways to my best friend who looked very mad. Maybe she wanted to go home now? I was hoping we could enjoy the slumber party with the comfort of candy. When Rebekah caught my shameful eye she smiled saying just to me "Well, MY MOM said it was so COOL and no big deal." I smiled and nodded relieved she was still staying the night after all. Though this moment is the important foundation in my strong fear towards boys. That would follow me steadily over those next 10 years.
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