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Saturday, October 23, 2010

The BBQ of the year

A week ago from today my Aunt Veta had a great warm fire pit going on the grounds of her beautiful home in Sandpoint Idaho. I had spent the morning with my other Aunt Valorie over coffee with a hearty breakfast. She showed me her beautiful home in those Autumn colors, with the wet nose hugs from her dogs I took it all in with such refreshing excitement. Once at the BBQ I was surprised, I was amazed by all the people! My Cousin Trina and I have been close again and in our last phone conversation she said when I visit we will have a BBQ. "WOW!" was what both Val and I said when we arrived to all the vehicles. I enjoy all sizes of groups, in this was a moment I was so touched. My Cousin Trina has the sweetest Hubby Kyle who cooked all the food and kept the BBQ going. Their 2 kids Hannah and Harvey were on my mind when I (following my Aunt Kaisie's foot steps) gave them bubble gum too:-) I think it was one of those evenings I will always remember with such a smile. When my Aunt Nancy hugged me among all the other greetings, I was amazed at how long it has been since I have seen her. Now I knew she had always been close to my mother so I hadn't even once thought she would actually come by to say hi. I was moved very deeply, how special an act like this truly is. I realize I never really allowed myself to trust her simply because my mother adored her. How funny to understand now that our parents can control even our choices of friends? My Uncle Rudy is married to my Aunt Nancy, He also has the kindest smile. They were always apart of my parents time as I grew up. Even though one time I remember being thankful to Aunt Nancy saying that even though I was 15 years old I didn't have to go to bed at 7pm just because her younger children were. She said she understood I was older, I always thought that was very nice of her. But my Father eager to get rid of us, he sent us to bed just the same. Also when I was 15  I had saved up my money to take my first airplane ride up north. To spend a week with my Grandparents, I had to really fight with my parents about staying with Auntie Val also, because she and I wrote each other all the time. We were very close! My parents wanted me to stay with Uncle Rudy and Aunt Nancy. So naturally I would just put my guard up when around them. They also kept my parents informed about me that week. When I got home I tried to share some of my stories about my vacation. My parents told me to shut up, for they already knew everything from my Uncle Rudy. It was a moment that really hurt me, that really made me both sad and mad. Now last Saturday I wondered how much about them do I not know only because of that memory? That grudge I held on to? How amazing it was to see them along with their newly married daughter Rebekah. They are whole other side to the family, I would like very much to know more. My Aunt Chris recently told me that I would like them, and I trust her judgment. 
In this BBQ visit I felt so loved by having such a big family, with the laughter to share. I left thinking about how no matter the years, Family just has that great rich history.
At my cousin Henry's house Sunday, I enjoyed my final night of this trip to northern Idaho in Moscow. I got to meet his sweet Husband Alex. I got to cuddle with their pets, talk about their lives and learn more about them. My Auntie Val said the night before that she is so proud of her son and all he went through. She said with tears just how much she loves him. I was so happy, so proud to see him again. Over dinner at their place I watched Henry come alive with sharing jokes and telling stories just like he always did as a child. I laughed so hard thinking this is simply wonderful to see him so loved by Alex and so happy in his own place! After this whole trip I ended up making new friends, having these great new memories and a deeper understanding in how everyone is now. When I drove through St. Maries on that Sunday afternoon, this was the town I was born in. From back in 1979 to now 2010 I can see the places are still there but I have changed. I have seen that simple pure thing called LOVE preform miracles, heal the anger and humble the heart. 
The song on the radio played in the background while I drove slowly through town, lost in my own thoughts "..Did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there?"

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