It's been hard facing each morning now since Sidda passed away, I hurt just thinking of her. Because her sweetness and cuddles were my favorite part in waking up!
It's been hard moving on without her and as I stayed in a hotel last night in Twin Falls Idaho after a busy fun day with Benny's kids, I realized that I would of worried a bit for Sidda not having me by her face in the morning, where she would look at me with her big brown eyes and adorable loving cute face.
I am never going to be a world traveler because I love my animals so much more.
I struggle to even leave home when it's for fun or for family vacations because of all my love for my cats and now one dog....
Life is best lived with many critters cuddling up in bed, I miss that.
I struggle when I hear my husband say "We're not getting any more dogs, we're going to travel more and have fun." I cringe because having the pets WAS the fun in my life and all felt perfect in my care over them....
When Sidda died suddenly I realized it's the sudden deaths that always trip me up so much, I struggle far more with them then in a planning and a preparing for death.
She would of been 16 years old this month and I know animals never live as long as we do but I sure wasn't ready.
Minnie's death was a preparation that I felt very honorable, Sidda's death was my strongest hour, for I knew if I cried she would worry about me so I waited until she was gone to really let my shock out. I have lived through my deepest fear of going to the vet's and they don't let me bring my pet home....
Time is like an hour glass glued to the table so I have to take these changes in deep breaths. I wake up now so early and get right up because staying in bed makes me sad for I look for Sidda, I am feeling like my lazy hazy days of summer are gone right with the sweetest little dog ever!
I liked road tripping over to Twin Falls this weekend seeing my friends and getting to know more about their lives as they reach the teen years. It was reminding me of the time I drove that same way with 3 dogs in the backseat of blankets and pillows. Oscar in his adorable schnauzer hair cut turned into a therapy dog the moment he saw my best friend's father in his hospital bed in their home, Benny laughed so much at how Oscar knew what to do. While her kids made him a little nervous they usually went to hug and cuddle on Minnie. It was cute to see how Minnie loved the kids, and the food they would drop too, then she would lay under the table or the coffee table when we sat visiting into the nights. I carried around a small dog bed for Sidda as she was the tiniest dog and I didn't want her getting stepped on or confused so I put her bed by me everywhere through the whole weekend. Then at bed time all 3 dogs piled into the guestroom with me and I thought this was the best adventure I have ever taken! My best friend loved having me visit that she didn't mind if I brought all my dogs so I felt truly happy to be able to see her and to keep my dogs right with me.
As I drove out on Friday I had so many good memories from my 3 dogs in the backseat when we drove out there for that time...Our fun friends weekend of knitting while all the Harry Potters movies played on.
I am so grateful I had such an awesome friend like Benny, who like me just as I am with 3 dogs in tow!
It's been hard moving on without her and as I stayed in a hotel last night in Twin Falls Idaho after a busy fun day with Benny's kids, I realized that I would of worried a bit for Sidda not having me by her face in the morning, where she would look at me with her big brown eyes and adorable loving cute face.
I am never going to be a world traveler because I love my animals so much more.
I struggle to even leave home when it's for fun or for family vacations because of all my love for my cats and now one dog....
Life is best lived with many critters cuddling up in bed, I miss that.
I struggle when I hear my husband say "We're not getting any more dogs, we're going to travel more and have fun." I cringe because having the pets WAS the fun in my life and all felt perfect in my care over them....
When Sidda died suddenly I realized it's the sudden deaths that always trip me up so much, I struggle far more with them then in a planning and a preparing for death.
She would of been 16 years old this month and I know animals never live as long as we do but I sure wasn't ready.
Minnie's death was a preparation that I felt very honorable, Sidda's death was my strongest hour, for I knew if I cried she would worry about me so I waited until she was gone to really let my shock out. I have lived through my deepest fear of going to the vet's and they don't let me bring my pet home....
Time is like an hour glass glued to the table so I have to take these changes in deep breaths. I wake up now so early and get right up because staying in bed makes me sad for I look for Sidda, I am feeling like my lazy hazy days of summer are gone right with the sweetest little dog ever!
I liked road tripping over to Twin Falls this weekend seeing my friends and getting to know more about their lives as they reach the teen years. It was reminding me of the time I drove that same way with 3 dogs in the backseat of blankets and pillows. Oscar in his adorable schnauzer hair cut turned into a therapy dog the moment he saw my best friend's father in his hospital bed in their home, Benny laughed so much at how Oscar knew what to do. While her kids made him a little nervous they usually went to hug and cuddle on Minnie. It was cute to see how Minnie loved the kids, and the food they would drop too, then she would lay under the table or the coffee table when we sat visiting into the nights. I carried around a small dog bed for Sidda as she was the tiniest dog and I didn't want her getting stepped on or confused so I put her bed by me everywhere through the whole weekend. Then at bed time all 3 dogs piled into the guestroom with me and I thought this was the best adventure I have ever taken! My best friend loved having me visit that she didn't mind if I brought all my dogs so I felt truly happy to be able to see her and to keep my dogs right with me.
As I drove out on Friday I had so many good memories from my 3 dogs in the backseat when we drove out there for that time...Our fun friends weekend of knitting while all the Harry Potters movies played on.
I am so grateful I had such an awesome friend like Benny, who like me just as I am with 3 dogs in tow!
No comments:
Post a Comment