I pulled the sleeping bag and blankets over her paralyzed arm and made sure her pillows felt right to her as she began reading her book. I talked about how wise it was not to stay through the worship service that late into the first night there, it was very crowded in the basement of Trinity Pines during all the singing, all the praying and then the special speaker began. It was during one of bathroom breaks that Mom said she was feeling tired and ready for bed so we simply strolled on out to the elevator. This was my first time here, I had been a bit nervous at what we were getting ourselves into....My mom's Nazarene church had announced that the ladies retreat was the last weekend of September, My mother's birthday is the first of October so this was also a celebration for her too. I said "Yes, sure thing I'll take ya." then began to wonder how it all works, the happiness my mother had was worth my instant reply, she spent that whole summer planning and dreaming of getting out into the mountains. While most everyone else said I was crazy, said I was reckless. I simply said back to them that I am strong enough to do this, that it was the right decision instantly I know it was exactly right.....When I get that feeling, that peace of mind in my delight of knowing deep into my soul that I am right where I belong. I feel such peacefulness fill my heart and mind, I have no doubts, no fears, no second guessing and no anxiety. It was a real adventure for us to attend the ladies retreat that first year, The cabin was handicap friendly, we read our books in bed head to head. I would notice how excited for the whole weekend my mother was as we were all setup and ready. I had her wheel chair and cane handy to use through out the night. I had her clothes and her leg brace set out so she can see it from her side of the bed because she wanted to make sure it was all there. I had heard the number of ladies there that weekend was over 300. The mountains were beautiful! The stars were so bright at night, the deer came up close to the lodge and the whole weekend went by quickly.
I did a lot of running out to get the car and bring back to help load up all my mom's things, I became such good friends with the ladies from her own church because they saw all my hard work sweating about to get my mom setup for every meal and every event. They were the true friends my mom hadn't realized she had. I was able to do everything in pure delight because I knew that I had been given such a gift in my strength and in my love for my mother. Our new friends saved us a place at the table and held the doors open, they brought us drinks or things we needed, they visited nicely with my mother then joke with me of how I never get to sit down myself. I didn't mind at all of course, my mother was thrilled to be there, I was thrilled she was healthy enough to be there too!
The second year was much harder, I was surprised by how much harder it was then the first year. Yet we weren't in a cabin this time we stayed in a beautiful cozy hotel room at Ashley Inn. We were by far much warmer then that first year, we were even setup with a handicap shower in helped me get my Mom ready in no time. I was delighted to see all the nice ladies again, they once again went above and beyond to help us. They were far more aware of my need for some help the second time around and I thanked God for them. I wasn't as strong, I wasn't as cheerful in my aching grief. Mom and I were able to sit away outside in the sun light and cry together.
It was a difficult year because we also had some of mom's friends staying in the hotel room with us, and I knew that they wouldn't get a moment of sleep. Of course They didn't hang around long once they realized that too, but my mother was sure happy to see them and she asked where they were all the time so that was a good distraction. I wondered if I could do all of this again, because I saw how beautiful my mother was when she sang all those christian songs of her past. I saw how she needed to be hugged by all those women and prayed over, she needed to sob with me on the balcony in our reminiscing over Derek. She needed to have fun activities, she needed to just be on her own for a bit too. I would watch her stroll along in her chair to look at the silent auction as I drank my coffee, I would stay close by yet give her a sense of being on her own. I smiled to myself thinking "Lord willing, we can do this again next year....maybe."
This was the third year, and it truly was wonderful!
I was far more prepared, we were really organized. All summer we talked about it, all summer we packed for it. All summer we enjoyed how it was all working out! My mother's 2 sisters were able to come, my heart was bursting with happiness!
My Mom was also thrilled for one of her sisters had to fly in for the weekend and it all worked out so magically perfect! It was the best time I had ever had, it was the best feeling for me to not be all alone up there. Yet I never realized that I felt alone at times looking back I can see it now how having many helpful hands make light work!
Mom's sisters were spot on in seeing my needs, my routines and my ways of getting my mom moved around. They were always right there the second I needed to carry something or go grab something. I knew on that very first night that God is so Good! The world is wonderful! Love Lives on! I am full of joy to see how happy my mom was that her sisters took her inside the lodge while I still had to go park the car far away. I use to worry about my mom just waiting for me in the cold outside evening air of the mountains, I use to run fast to get back to her side after gathering all the things she would need. We would join all the ladies and I would go grab drinks for us but this time my aunts had already took care of it. They were never afraid to touch the wheel chair, or help hold my mom in place. They knew all the little things I knew in taking such good care of her. So I had such loving support all weekend long, I had more energy because they were there. We had a great time, soaking in the hot tub which helped my mom not ache so much, we ate a peaceful lovely breakfast in the hotel dinning room. We got everything we wanted at the silent auction and spent an afternoon relaxing with ice tea and ice coffees in the Cascade drug store, telling stories and laughing! I love my Aunts, I love my mom and I will always love looking back at the past weekend. For it was the best yet! For it was perfect to see how wonderful family is!
I was walking back to the table, not rushing, not worried over how my mom was. Instead I simply walked back to the table to see Her already eating her dinner. My Aunt Kathy and My Aunt Karen were right there beside her and I smiled to myself for a moment because these wonderful women are the first ladies of my life.
Almost 40 years ago these 3 beautiful faces greeted me into this world!
and I am in awe of them.
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