Birthday BBQ

           

As I grow older I noticed that I can setup for a family BBQ quite quickly, I really love having everyone over as much as possible.

Yesterday 25 years ago my first baby brother was born. Our Daren, the Dude.

On that day I have many memories, one particular of Mom grabbing on to the wall in sudden pain as I was roller skating with my friends then I saw her face from across the skating ring. I flew to her side in alarm these nine months had taught my 14 year old self everything about being pregnant. I was asking her as I rolled up "Are you okay?" She blunted out "Don't touch me I am in labor!" then I exclaimed "WHAT!?!?!?!"

She took a deep breath saying back at my terrified face "Don't cause a scene, I am getting a ride over to the birthing center now. Tell your brother and sister to meet out front all together you'll get dropped off there when skating is over." I asked her in a sudden rush of tears "Are you in pain?" she smiled with a chuckle at me saying "This isn't my first time, I know what I am doing. Don't worry." 
Yet I did worry, in fact I was shaking when Rebekah and Tiffany skated back up to me as I began sobbing in fear, the 3 of us teenage girls did a prayer circle in the far corner of the roller dome. We talked about all the risks my mother was facing and all the unknown concerns ahead in this day, 25 years ago.

When our father dropped the 3 of us at home he grabbed mom's prepared suit case that she showed me everything she would need on the day she gave birth and why. I knew all the dangers my mother and new sibling were in so I never stopped praying for her!

 Since I was full of anxiety once we were home again I began washing dishes in the kitchen then I had an idea, with music blaring through the house that afternoon I decide to go above and beyond from my normal chores. I realized in a few hours a newborn baby will arrive so I better get the whole house spotless and germ less. I dance and sung while vacuuming and I took each room starting in the back of the home and deep cleaned it, this meant replacing light bulbs, sweeping down cob webs and wiping walls down to the very floor board and wiping that as well. I vacuumed out the windows and every corner of our house that day.  I scrubbed both bathrooms with an inch of it's life! I folded every piece of clothing away and I baked brownies to give the fresh clean place a cozy smell. I made a wild flower vase for the kitchen table and while every window was open the sun was bright and warm, fall was truly spectacular on the farm that day! 25 years ago!

Dana and Derek both finished up the outside projects for Dad and we all waited in the kitchen with brownies and milk. It was becoming evening when our phone rang, I answered in the way we had been trained to do so "Kleins, this is Debby?" My father sounded happy as he shared "It's a Boy! Your Mom is fine too, it got a little scary but everything is good now. Tell your brother and sister that Daren Joshua is here! oh and I already called your Grandparents they will be down to bring you into town." I hung up the phone jumping up and down with Dana and Derek. 
I was thanking God fully, I was overwhelmed with wanting to tell the whole world so I made some calls to my friends and to my family. The joy was truly overwhelming and everything was ready at home for this new chapter in our lives, 25 years ago yesterday.....

Having a baby on my hip from that day on has made me one of the most wisest motherly women who never had any kids of her own. I have an awareness of children and of babies that is there only because of the day Daren was born. I knew that I was no longer living for myself to survive, I was living to make sure he would survive. I wanted him to have a far better life then I had.
I was delighted by how much happiness he brought into our home, I was always going to be in awe of this day, 25 years ago.

Cousin Henry turned to me saying "You guys never call him by his actual name. I have been here all weekend and never once heard anyone say "Hey Daren!" you all say "Hey Dude!" I laughed at his observation for it was true. Baby Doug was only 1 year old so his nick name wasn't yet known but Daren's adorable toddler years was full of "Hey Little Dude." I would teach him how to high five then stick his little thumb up saying "DUDE!" all together, he was a very happy child to have older sibling who loved playing with him or taking him along into the toy store at the mall giving out mother a break from us all. 
I was devoted to these baby brothers of mine as I called them my pride and joy! I look back on how the day Daren was born my whole world changed forever, all of my knowledge of pregnant women helped me stay very smart and very guarded over my own sexuality. My teen years were full of responsibilities that made me appreciate time in general. Nothing stay this way forever, when young parents feel trapped, feel depressed or feel like they don't have a life of their own as babies grow up into noisy children that become clever adults, I advise from my own personal experience "Cherish it all for in the blink of an eye 25 years will have gone by!"

I called up the slide tunnel of McDonald's "Hey Dude! It's time to go!" for we had been rolling down hot wheels back and forth to each other since I was 18 years old I couldn't join him up in the playful tower. He called down "But I don't want to go!" I asked him "You don't want to walk with me through the toy section of the store? Mom needs to get groceries, we could make popcorn at home and watch "Babe." again? What do ya say?" He flew out of the toy tower with a big smile and a nod "Okay, let's go!" I nodded proudly at how easy going he always was especially once I would explain what was really going on...

(Looking back I discovered how to negotiate and to motivate with Daren, which became some of the best parenting advice I could ever give!)

Yesterday I was able to setup a BBQ for my family, I loved how easily it all came together. The boys setup a board game, the young men I mean....it's times like this that 25 years ago doesn't seem so long ago. I ate with my mom, talked politics with my Dad and enjoyed listening to the jokes my husband made as my little brothers all hung out. 

Life is always changing, 25 years ago is one of the best changes I have ever lived through, for it was the beginning of my parent's second family structure and the arrival of such pure joy, the heart full of love I will always have for all of my baby brothers!