Lately I have been following many environmental blogs and news feeds online realizing so much has changed in just 20 years of my paying attention to my landscape.
Lately I have been so grateful for having grown up on an Orchard farm as now that is wine country. I use to think it would always stay the same out there even though the nearby towns were growing and changing.
Lately I have been thinking of my best friend who use to go to movies with me all the time. My brother Doug took our mother out to the movies around Mother's day the last spring and I met up with him to help in any way I can. We were at a movie theater of my past, when Benny and I spent hours there. I kept wanting to see her and to talk deeply in discussion again for after every movie we sat in the table and chairs there for a while to freshly debate or share our experience.
Lately I have been thinking of Benny again, my heart is hurting for her to bring back that world again. I guess it will stay in my memories, in my mind's eye once again where we laugh out loud or explain why we disagreed with each other. Late at night being young I never traveled alone so she would tease me how I insisted on picking her up and taking her home once it was dark outside. I always cautious at my venerability, at not putting myself in a dangerous situation if I could help it. Benny would tease me about all my little rules for everything, she would say "We live in the safest state out there, everyone around here is watching out for everyone else. This isn't Los Angeles!" I would smile proudly back at her "Oh I know, I wouldn't be staying out till midnight if it was!"
Lately I have been missing my brother Derek and my best friend Benny these were the 2 people I went to the most movies back then, we would walk the mall together after it close window shopping or driving through town to see what the night looks like in town. i always felt so safe with either of them in the car with me as I always cautiously held the wheel, singing to the radio. Those 2 would argue about everything if we were all going out some where together.
When we would meet up with a bigger group of friends at a restaurant, at a coffee shop or at the theater my brother would break away to be with his own friends but I knew that at the end of the social event he would be waiting by the car for our ride home.....I would feel safe even though it grew dark out and we always dropped Benny off on our way.
I miss them, I miss that time in my life when I was so blessed to have them in my life.
Just like looking back through my family, remembering the farm with Grandparents always there. Robert Redford narrates this classic movie "A River Runs Through it." and my heart is bursting forth such love for the beauty of this earth, for the bond of siblings and best friends! When I was dating my husband Tony, he brought over this movie while my family was gone yet Benny was there. I felt like everything was proper in this set up, we watched this wonderful movie then Tony shared how it reminded him of his own relationship with his brother in many ways. I loved getting to know him better with the guarded protection of my best friend Benny right there too.
Life back then was stressful for all the unknown choices of the future so now when I look back I smile, I see what was truly wonderful. What was truly important and whats was really great decisions for my life!
Benny sat beside me by the Boise river in the center of downtown, she said "Whenever I go away and come back a month later the city looks different, it's growing like crazy!" I opened my picnic basket on the quilt saying "That's why having a picnic is even more important, to make sure they don't take away our nature breaks with all the big buildings!" she laughed at me in the afternoon sun shine And a river runs through it....
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