Loving Tony

Looking back at the last 14 years I can still remember when my father pulled me aside from the family event in which I had boldly brought my boyfriend Tony, I kept reassuring my mother that he and I were just friends, I honestly didn't claim him as my boyfriend for those first few months in getting know to him, out of fear that I could be wrong.....but my heart was moving beyond my common sense in dealing with MY family if I ended up being wrong about Tony they would all never let me forget it.....My father looked worried and he NEVER took the time to speak with me one to one so I knew this was something to remember. My father said "You were suppose to end your friendship with this young man, the longer you drag this on the harder it will be...especially for HIM." I realized while standing there I had been looking down at my feet, thinking to myself "What 20 year old woman has to still look down in respect or shame when speaking to her father?" This was a forceful man who never paid that much attention towards me, so now suddenly I am unsettling his family I had to look up when my father said "Anyone could see he is so in-love with you and you are NOT being nice letting him hang around." I smiled suddenly almost in a giggle because I didn't think my Father knew what being in-love was, at least not on the fairy tale level that I did. I was so impress by my father's honesty that I decide right then and there never to look back down at my feet when my father spoke to me. If you asked Tony today how all that went down he would say "It was ridiculous, I never met such a messed up situation like Debby's family but I knew from the start of it all that she was worth it!" Loving Tony has been such a big part of my life that I almost can't remember what it was like before he came along, I look back over the years in how we started out being tested for our honesty in liking each other, all the while our friendship became naturally long lasting and our love grew deep roots for the start.....I am in awe over how unjustly treated Tony was coming into my life but I saw through it all and knew I was finally "Home" with him. Being married has it's many stories, adventures and simply real life stuff....All made easier through LOVE. 
My husband Tony is one of the funniest guys I know, smart and clever full of deep discussions over coffee in the mornings. Playful in cooking dinner at night, in sharing with me all his hobbies and studies. Loving Tony is so easy, even more easier is my knowing and accepting him just as he is! I remember how first being married I was worried what people saw in him when he spoke out loudly or made a joke then I would argue with him on behavior. he pointed it out quickly how different we will always be, slowly letting go of that idea that a married couple is alike or representing each other helped me see just my husband as he is and not how I think he should be. I wonder where we get this idea of marriage? I prefer the depth, the honesty and the real person in a relationship. Loving Tony when he squeals over a spider or pukes a second after the cat just did. Loving Tony when he exclaims "What a dumb ass!" to the car that just cut us off on the road. Loving Tony as he learns to garden only to do 5 minuets of working for a beer....Loving Tony as he locks himself out of the car or forgets his coffee on top of the car. We were meant to be so different in creating a healthy fun balance of being. My life is full of laughter in loving Tony! My heart is grateful for the home we've created! Loving Tony was THE best choice and decision I have EVER made, looking back in time allows the proof to be seen, allows the lessons to be learned and I am loving it ALL!

2001 with Sweet Puppy Newton

Tony said suddenly as I walked into our condo, moving time was always stressful on him in different ways then for me. I liked to take my time organize and clean while he wants to just leave and walk away from the old place never to look back. "Why can't these neighbors know by now I am NOT like you? I don't want to get out of the car chit chatting away....I WANT to just go into my home." I chuckled as I carried in groceries having lost 15 minuets updating the neighbors on how our big move is coming along. Linda, Patty, Janet and Darlene were all interested and worried in seeing us leave after 7 years...I understood this, I liked trusting and knowing those around me too. Tony sighed as I explained "Just be nice, no one expects you stop what you are doing and the ladies DO like me more!" I was smiling big as he replied "That's fine, I just can't wait to leave this place and not have people standing on our patio watching me BBQ." The boxes were piling up at the door in my ever so detailed organized ways as he called out from the bathroom "HEY where's my toothbrush?!?" I point to the open box labeled "Bathroom stuff" He rolled his eyes "We STILL have a whole week left! I am NOT living out of a box that whole time!" I shrugged still giggling "I am always a head of the game, less stress this way in being ready..." Tony's hands flew up at the ceiling "NOT FOR ME! I can't even brush my teeth!" I paused for a moment after laughing so hard saying "Well then don't go into the kitchen...." Tony turned around in surprise after digging in the bathroom boxes "WHAT? We DO have to eat ya know....Ah yes, I see, so we eat out every night until we move for the less stress of it all." I grinned big and proud saying back in a triumphant way "Exactly!"

Loving Tony is easy because he is so lovable!