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Friday, March 1, 2013

The Constant Company

        When it comes to learning some important life lessons, having your own privacy and your own home is one that I will NEVER forget from this year of chaos.
For TODAY is the last day of our roommate situation, he has his own new place and house now, This is exciting! This is so very very good! and most importantly I am glad he looks so happy when coming back for his things, surely he feels proud to honor his girlfriend and their relationship with safe walls of their own.
The importance of being respectful and honorable is made easier in renting your own space. I have learned this to be a real fact on a whole new level now, It didn't turn out like I had hoped at first in having a roommate. Yet all in all over the last few weeks with conversations and connections in knowing they will be moving out, gave us stuff to talk about....there was a new refreshing atmosphere in finally playing games and drinking together, it was nice to finally get to know them. I delighted in learning more of their new home and who they are! but I am not going to miss him at all. Let me be clear, for I like people and enjoying making new friends all the time! but I did not like having a roommate, for he has a different schedule and different ideas for what is important to him. He is a nice guy mind you, but that is fairly all I really know. 
Things so opposite from me on how he isn't focused on cleaning, he can't cook worth shit for smoking out our kitchen was become a daily crazy event. I would have loved to show him how to cook better, yet he wasn't appoarchable like that often he would react to something I was saying as if he knew what I was going to I was a threat to whatever the issue. I noticed it instantly, most young men do this I realize but I didn't take it personal. The things I could chat about or share I did but after awhile I left him to his own space. Never knowing the comings and goings or plans for the week....again NOT how I live but how I learn to respect his style. I decided the long list of my pet peeves is rather my own watchfulness in how I compared myself to him, NOT a healthy way to look at this whole situation I know!  
Yet there are those magical moments like one night a few weeks ago when I was making valentines arts and crafts in the living room my husband made these endless cocktails, suddenly without notice or warning after a few days of not seeing our roommate he is back with his girl sitting among us, (this was made fun by getting drunk of course.) I realized that having constant company keeps me spot on in friendliness and conversations....where as my husband will behave much differently. For if he feels "put upon" he clams up and glares....there is no mistaking his uncomfortableness in having a sudden appearance to our roommate. Perhaps I compensate in being even more out going in hopes to avoid this clear rudeness either way....drinking has been our one outlet for dealing. Everyone has common ground right? So through cocktails there is help in creating friendships, sharing life stories. One of the most amazing moments for me in realizing that our roommate is young and self-focused yet thoughtful if reminded, was when instead of watching "Family Guy" or "Gossip Girl" early the next morning as I woke startled by their laughing in the kitchen feeling my head pound from drinking to much once again, was the sound of the theme song to "Downton Abby" was MAGICAL! For my poor head couldn't handle all the noise of anything else so that beloved show saved me from more pain! "Thank you God, Thank you, thank you, thank you!" I whispered from my bedding in the light gray early morning hour, If my roommate's girlfriend had not been there then such a classy soft sounding tv show would have been replaced for a louder, more silly sitcom. That hour of staying in bed trying to give them private space and trying to calm my pains, trying not judge them for being crazy in waking up so early on the weekend all in all made me think to myself "THERE IS A GOD! and I hope never to drink like that again!"
Being a decade older has it's problems automatically in this situation of our roommate, if one is not sharing common ground in movies or shows then the gap of friendship is hard to jump while living under the same roof. One evening when I arrived home I was impressed that our roommate was watching a documentary of great depth and interesting topics! Excitedly I thought this would be the start in having some kind of common ground, maybe even afterwords in connecting our conversations about this info....maybe...I thought to myself hopeful and aware! BUT then half way through this film he answered his phone stating "Just sitting here bored, watching some dumb documentary....." I gasped from across the room in alarm then became grateful that he leaves suddenly, so I could finish watching the film in peace on my own thinking how sad to not have common ground after all. True to form having constant company keeps me on my toes and ever so watchful in my house coat less I be caught off guard and not dress for all new peoples in my home. My hope and my focus was to remain polite, kind and graceful, yet it sure was challenging! The importance of my peace of mind is the simple fact that I don't think I could EVER have a roommate again....for I realize now as my husband said it every single day through out these months "I'm way to old for this shit" (Sooo I've learned being old isn't all that bad after all as well)
    When our roommate's bathroom light would shine into our sleepy bedroom the sudden brightness had my hubby cussing and complaining instantly, so I tried to cover it up, this small window glass for better privacy and calmness. The genius in me finally pop out after several times in ways that didn't work to when I stuffed it full of yarn! How classy, clever and PERFECT with not one beam of light startling us all awake in those dark cold early winter mornings!
My mother-in-law Jo Anne warned us back in the beginning just like many others actually, about how hard this move would be in joining a roommate. Truth is they were right, I was wrong. I guess I was dreamy in my hopes for a good balance in this odd situation. having a roommate taught me much more then I would have ever thought! Even kept many people at bay, not very many people wanted to be my company when I would invited them over to my new home only to be told "Not while some strange guy could be there..." or "I dunno...sounds weird."  I was left to sadly say "Oh okay...maybe after he moves out then?" wondering how did my home slip from my fingers and could I get it back?
Although it was Mama Jo Anne who said it best "You don't realize how good you have it, until the company NEVER leaves."

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