"By tying your self-love and self-acceptance to a goal, your happiness corresponds to it's achievement. When you reach your goal, your self esteem rises temporarily; When you don't, you think less of yourself.
This is using goal setting as a tool for self-domestication, as you have chosen to conditionally love yourself on the success or failure of your obtaining this goal. Now the expectations of what "should be." controls you.
The process looks like this;
1. You decide the person you are is not enough,so you set a goal to achieve something.
2. You implicitly make an agreement with your-self that you will only be worthy of your own love if the goal is obtained.
3. If you don't meet the goal, you judge yourself accordingly. If you do meet the goal, you inner judge raises the bar.
That is the trap that the Master of Self avoids, and to do so is to love yourself unconditionally, seeing that you are already perfect in the very moment.
....and there is no goal you need to obtain to be worthy of your own love."
(from the book "The Mastery of Self." by Don Miguel Ruiz JR)
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