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Thursday, February 2, 2017

Looking back at LOVE

      When I first met my husband he said that men and women could never be friends, because the sex thing always gets in the way....
We argued for a long time and still 17 years later here we are arguing about this very topic once again!
Just like in the movie "When Harry met Sally." this same topic has been apart of our lives for years now!
      So my argument is that women and men can be just friends with no desire for sex, for no desire in anything romantic to get in the way of their just being good friends.
My husband completely disagrees, he says that's least for the guy's part of the friendship. 

Maybe so...maybe so....

Looking back at our friendship in the begin we had some attraction to each other but mostly we had our arguments and challenges far more powerful in long late night debates in coffee shops or bookstores.
 In fact we dated for 4 years before we got married because I had a lot of research to do on the topic of marriage/sex before I would ever agreed to get all that physical. 
It had to be a smart choice for me that our friendship was stronger then our passion. 
I had to believe that what I decided for my future was not a huge mistake, we were very tested and judged by others along the way as when I said "I do." I meant it with all of my heart. 

Most importantly not because God expected me to do this, not because anyone pressured me but simply because I knew he was the one I wanted to wake up and see every day for the rest of my life.
I still feel that way, if only far more wiser now in facing all those early fears I use to have about making a wrong choice.

Looking back on our love, I am left with the awe of how very different he and I will always be from each other and yet new debates and discussions come up ALL the time, we are never bored in learning new things from each other that's for sure!

It comes down to our lasting friendship, I like to point that out whenever we are arguing if guys and gals can just be friends or not. (I don't think we'll ever give up that discussion)

I believe that if we ever can't be happy with each other or we can't bring out our best selves with the other one around us then we need to tip our hats and say goodbye. It's not sad, or bad, it's just what can happen for some couples along life's changing pathways. If our time comes up to that I will not have any regrets only many many life lessons and many many adventures to look back on in how it all made me who I am today!

I was often so afraid that getting married would trap me into a life of someone I am not and then I grew to learn so many wonderful magical things about romance in true honest friendship that I will always be ever so grateful no matter what our future holds! 

I'm sure we can make it to the end of our lives, but I also know not to play God in thinking I know best for the stories of our lives....
I am simply going look back and laugh because every time I watch "When Harry met Sally." I see our lives unfold right before my very eyes in awe that we never run out of anything to talk about nor do we shy away from challenging each other too!     

   Tony's co-worker turns to me as we are all enjoying an office luncheon, saying "He really needs someone like you who can see through his bullshit and not just cater to his every need, because if he was with the wrong person who didn't stand up to him then he would grow into a very unbearable person!" I laugh and sarcastically ask "So I am either humbling him or humiliating him? that what you are saying?"  He laughs back at me and exclaims "SEE! It's THAT, right there that fast wit and cleverness of you which keeps him in check! Good job!" I smile and shrug knowing that for all I can do for my husband, he also reminds me to not fall back into self-righteousness, and so he keeps me on my toes too!


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