Over the last several years I've kept saying that we would get over to my Aunt Chris for Thanksgiving as it would be wonderfully fun to do!....but life unfolded in many different ways until finally I declared no second guessing this year we were going! How inspiring it was to hear my Aunt had moved to a new place with much more room. Since I love my Aunt Chris and her husband Uncle Steve with all my heart, with all my joy in how they treat everyone in honest respect and true kindness. They have a peaceful calm good life in their new place with 2 Boston terriers and the occasional company of their hard working grown children. I truly have enjoyed getting to know my cousins, Kelsey and Jerram. Growing up they were very busy in Portland that swinging into Grandma and Papa Rudy's home wasn't as often to see them. I don't think it was a bad thing at all just by looking at how good and nice they are, such Family dramas never reached them and I find that so refreshing! This year was a great event, my husband said it was clear that everyone sitting around the table WANTED to be there and actually liked everyone else not just trying because it's a holiday and it's required for family to come together. I smiled so big for he was exactly right! It was a fact that I noticed in the whole perfect day also!
My cousin Henry and I have been connected since he was born, I look back at the picture with me holding him as a newborn and as the years moved on with other pictures of us always together, when we had an argument or a fight we never stayed mad at each other long......I like that we are always friends so having him join us in Portland with his husband Alex became something of a perfect magical moment!
The eight of us over turkey dinner was a truly beautiful joyful thing to see and as we circled the newly setup table with candle light I took it in with a deep breath while thinking to myself.......we are HERE in this amazing moment RIGHT NOW! How wonderful!
During the after noon My Husband Tony got his board game out bringing laughter to the dinning room, with Jerram, Kelsey and Alex. My Aunt Chris could watch over them and talk with them from her kitchen as it was wide open, she made snack trays then got back to her amazing mashed potatoes. Cousin Henry and I sat in the connected living room with the lit fire as Uncle Steve joined us. Among the 3 of us visiting and cuddling along side the napping dogs, the perfect feeling over how we were all safe and warm while it rained outside made me drink my red wine in a happy smile! I love this family, my beautiful Aunt as she cared over everyone and brought the true magic to the table of a perfect roasted turkey! Being thankful was an endless emotion that we all shared, that we all embraced. My husband laughed till he couldn't breath as my cousin Henry did his stand up jokes, My Uncle Steve kept saying it was great to hear all of our different political views, even getting pretty excited over ideas in how society can work better. My Aunt Chris has this endless warm welcoming beautiful smile that makes me so happy, so grateful to know her in my life! She said it best in summing up this perfect full day when she said "I just love this! I really do!"
The family shared dishes around the table, laughed together, debated together and were genuinely grateful for each other......perhaps a historical moment from within this bigger family that we come from.....Turkey day brought out the best in us all and true friendships like that should never be taken for granted!
I am so grateful, so in awe of having such a holiday with happy, good people <3
This last Saturday I wrote on my facebook profile that it's a wonderful life and then just a few minuets later as I browsed a gift shop in the lovely town Cannon beach I came across a Christmas decor saying that VERY same thing and excitedly it was even on sale so quite naturally I bought it with such delight and my husband chuckled as I made the same look of the nick nack to him! THIS is the holidays and I am so thrilled to be in the magic of it all.....What perfect timing for me who never really buys very many things, seeing something that is a reflection of how I feel in such a perfect way. The ocean waves will always bring me to such peace and then seeing Cannon Beach deck out in Christmas lights and music got me into those cozy little shops with a warm coffee in hand. I smiled to myself, nodding to those passerbys and sung along with the seasonal tunes but it was when my heart stop dead that I saw this Christmas decor item, I thought in awe how being connected to the universe for THIS moment of clarity was truly FUN, for I was finding a PERFECT purchase!
(soooo miracles can happen hahahahaha)
I shall carry the fire
I shall always know how we need each other
I will not be afraid of rejections or judgements because the fire is strong
I know how important that flame is in understanding others, in helping out when I can
I like the warmth, the confidence and peace that comes with carrying the fire
I give my life force to the flame and can see no shame in shinning from within
A fire is a rescuing place from the dark and cold, from the storms and struggles in life
A fire is something real and true with a good message for how to also keep it in respect....
I shall carry the fire
I shall always know how inside of me with all my messages and my stories I can choose to better the world with one spark at a time
As the rain storm hit the coastal small town outside I sat in front of the fireplace thinking of how warm and safe I was, Of how important a good life is to me in being balanced and strong. I am so grateful, so thankful that I can or that ANYONE can also carry the fire for our souls! The world is an amazing wonderful place! The world is full of such moments that when carrying the fire teaches us or saves us from tough mistakes and hard lessons learned, This fire brings us all together and warms our hearts for a better day!
So carry the fire always and light up your journey as you go
This Thanksgiving weekend was a romantic reflection on everything we are thankful for! Spending some time on the Oregon Coast was one of the highlights in which I knew my heart could NOT be as full as it was! Especially in the moments I was dancing on the sand! (Although the sand was a smooth glossy wet paste) I kept sliding and waving my arms out to dance as my husband laughed at me! We were sitting there together on a log facing the front of haystack rock planning on returning for a longer vacation next time....I am thankful for that moment in time where everything even my soul stood still to the sound of the waves with seagulls singing!
In my home during these windy, rainy days of fall I like to do what I call "Nesting", a life style of loving the space I am in! Nesting is cleaning, organizing and simply just being inside! I read, I knit and I cook, I pet my dogs and carry around my cats while chatting away with them as if they were human. I hang up Christmas lights and fluff up my bedding, wash clothes and sweep floors...NESTING is a wonderful life!
I love my many hooks and shelves for everything to have a place, my husband Tony said he really likes my creativity but most importantly he likes how I "build up".....I try to keep my floors cleaned up with things moved upward more to the ceiling. I have always loved hooks for hats, scarfs and coats even purses and belts...little hooks hold necklaces and big hooks hold towels by the tub! When I first see a room I sense these ideas in how to use that odd space above our heads. Like with pictures, soft lighting and beautiful flowers that space can be built up!
Book shelves are some of my most favorite to use in displaying dishes and kitchen items this allows messy things like bags or paper plates to be tucked away in the kitchen drawers and hidden out of sight in cupboards.
This is a corner of my bedroom that I haven't been able to reach with the dog crates underneath.....So I wanted a basket for all my yarn and while it took up space on the floor or in a bag I happily saw an idea to hang my pink and yellow crochet shawl in a triangle with thumb tacts one in each corner to make my own flexible shelving! When a friend stopped by and saw it she loved this clever corner and I got to thinking that I am FULL of such ideas all the time!
Recently in Boise Idaho a fast food restaurant opened up called Chick-Fil-A, I drive by every time I go home from being a nanny for the evening....The place is packed out and the drive-thru line is crowded in cars!
I don't eat much chicken anymore so the place looks gross to me but to others it's very popular. I don't get it because chicken is a WHITE meat a very weak excuse for food!
Most people who believe in white meat gasp when I explain how bad for you this meat is....Well white meat is better for you then say white BREAD but it's not worth eating in my opinion. How does the human body work? You have to ask yourself if chicken is giving you the fat and iron you need to survive when all is said and done. The only chickens in my life lay eggs, and eggs I can eat every single day!
My ladies of laying, they are beautiful, they are funny! The 2 sisters above in light tan feathers I have named Thelma and Louise! I don't need a Chick-Fil-A when I have these souls to enjoy living!!!
After what feels like a decade of waiting...oh wait a minuet... it WAS a decade of waiting HA! Whole Foods Market has arrived in Boise Idaho! Downtown centered location across from the Boise River and right around the corner from Boise State University. It is a brand new huge building with a couple of levels for shopping, eating or drinking with patio seating facing the sun rise off the foothills I found this view rather noisy in all honesty the 5 lane traffic pull of many cars takes away from a peaceful thought....This parking lot is brand new too in front of Whole Foods with monitor policemen for the grand opening weekend. Yesterday the ribbon was cut and speeches were made but I didn't stay as I drove by I simply saw chaos of peoples so happily I went home thinking I have never been a big crowd or sale shopper!
Today on the other hand I was well rested and restored. My husband took me out for breakfast so we were in the area once again and THIS time I went inside...The parking lot is crazy with one ways in and out only not as well laid out like Winco down the same block. Inside I noticed many grumpy customers snorting and frowning at other shoppers. Seriously DUDE! I was thinking to myself it is JUST the second day open and there WILL be other people here shopping also! CHILL.....I'm excited the salad bar looks colorful, the coffee shop has flaky pastries and the corner deli of cheeses is very well organized! My favorite display was the variety of Kombucha taking over a whole wall section, I thought it was truly AWESOME!
The real whole fish sticking out of ice or perfection in all the produce made me like shopping through the crowds of mixed emotional people. Some workers hung their heads to avoid contact, some were spatting off behind the displays at each other and some were very friendly, even happy! Rather like all the kinds of customers I was watching...when you get this many people under the same roof it's bound to be interesting! I like to walk into corners or out of the way places to stand waiting or watching people, my husband on the other hand goes directly in front of everyone and everything looking for he wants stopping suddenly and shouting out to me what he has discovered. Then he looks around surprised to have cause a traffic jam or be stuck with no way out. He is very much like me in that he sees no reason to get mad at people or annoyed this is just what it like to shop in a brand new store of a million different things. We got our coffee after making a loop of the place, we sat in the mid-morning sunlight watching the cars outside move around crazily.....Chilling out in life is what I love the most, I didn't find anything to buy because I am not that same person I used to be when I first discovered Whole Foods, I notice prices of things now, I think realizing that I could make this item myself saving that cost makes shopping here a very different experience. I AM a different person in consuming, in seeking that image of a classy successful life. I use to think success was paying for the better quality, but now I wonder if there is truth to the price? I used to think healthiness was in organic or soy but that has ALL changed in me. So as I walked through the walls of a fun rare store without a single item beside my cup of coffee in hand I knew I will never go back to admiring the same things this store sales...... AND I am truly deeply very happy, my worn out sweater and bed hair didn't even cross my mind until I got home then I laughed at how I looked....Maybe classiness comes in the form of attitude? MAYBE.....
My brother asked to meet me for lunch and this was maybe the second time we ever had lunch time together since being consider adults, I was 24 years old knowing that after my parents had disowned me and my approaching wedding date was coming closer I had agreed to meet for lunch. This brother I grew up with was just 3 years younger but seemed like another life time away from me.....
He sat in the table barely eating the Mexican food in front of us, I cheerfully chatted away at first across from him in all the kindness I could carry. But sadly I KNEW he was about to ditch me, he was trying to say the words in person. He no longer could be in my wedding ceremony as I had asked him to be, I knew this was how it all had to unfold I had seen it in my dreams the night before and knew he was going to judge me instantly. I knew ALL of this before I ever parked my car in front of that little cafe in Nampa Idaho. My soon to be husband asked me why I even cared, why was I even willing to go this lunch date with my brother when it could possibly turn ugly and I answered back "My brother has to follow our parent's rules...he may even agree with them but I will not hide out or skip this event. I must face him in person. I already know what is going to happen and what I must say."
I wasn't afraid at all, eating lunch with my brother listening to him preach about everything bad in who I was. I didn't even cry as he scolded me and disowned me over those soft tacos. I sighed sadly wishing I could save him from being the "perfect" child of my parents....from making the same mistakes I had at his age.....
My brother begged me to come back to church and get married correctly, I smiled at him in true understanding "I know why you say these things, I know what you are trying to do...for I did the very same thing to our sister when I thought Mom and Dad would be so proud of me in trying to save her.... But I was wrong! I was so very wrong back then to follow their advice...I hurt my only sister deeply and now you hurt me in the same way. Being ashamed of me or disowning me will not keep us apart for one day down the road you will look back at this very moment and know I've already forgiven you." I sat still looking out the window as my brother spat back how crazy I was. I had come to peace with all these things, everything moved in slow motion as I walked out to my car done with this interaction. My brother looked so young, so confused yet also very sad too. He didn't save my soul from hell as he had hoped and I didn't chicken out in all I had to say to him before saying goodbye for the years to come.....Sharp are the moments in our lives, sad are the rules that contain us. YEARS are the thing we have to show over how we once were children told what to believe.....and at what cost do we say is enough?
At what level do we decide to fight back?
As I drove away from my brother who had disowned me and said he will never agree to how I live my life, I thought about how much I loved him and how one day he will remember me as I was always forgiving, also aware of the judgement he brought....
Sharp are the moments that hurt us and strong are the days we live in, religion destroys more then it can rebuild! I often wonder why I went to lunch that sad day when I knew exactly how it was going to end? Are my words even worth saying when all is said and done?
I know the power of my words can make or brake the day, where does it come from this self assured way I carry in myself and at times can click my sharp tongue?
I can see through looking back while growing up that if I spoke I better have it right, I better not stay silent and weak in any argument! So maybe THAT is where it comes from?
There is a relaxed familiar way among family in which I feel at liberty to speak my mind without a second guess, especially with my siblings I notice I am the worse at this..... The brother who grew up with me, just reminded me a few weeks ago of how rude I was to him 4 years ago arguing for Obama. I honestly didn't remember this conversation he brought up at all, It rather surprised me to see how hurtful it was of me! I remembered later on after he shared that I accused him of being racist, I had been watching Oprah around the very same time she said those who don't like Obama really are hiding the fact that he is black. This is the same line I said to my brother, He remembers it very clearly and I apologized. My sharp tongue will always follow me through life but I had hope to tame and understand it better by now...YET 4 years ago I was trying to reconnect to this brother and in one sharp sentence from me he was frustrated and annoyed then cut me out of our time together. It's funny I didn't even notice really, I remember emailing him a few days later then never getting the usual response so I simply moved on in my life never realizing what had happened...........I don't really know what it is in me that doesn't suffer from these clear rejection, my harsh words can be hurtful I need to know how to own them and change them for good things!
I really am thankful for being made aware when people are hurt from what I say, I can at least learn how not to do that again, to try and catch my sharp tongue before it's in action! Soooo if you see me walking around with drool down my chin, I haven't become a zombie I am just holding on to my rude moving tongue......slippery thing that it is!
Every 4 years people freak out over who will be the next President, I have been caught up in this very same issue before in the past. Yet this year I found myself not worried or even upset over who is now leader to this nation....I liked who I had voted for and didn't think the center of my happiness belonged to who won or lost.
I found the online world like in Facebook to be a very emotional crazy place on election night, mostly for all the people posting how the world will end now or how free we are once again...at least until the NEXT four years. Ironically these issues will never end, your candidate may win or may loose but life as it always has been still moves on. Why cry or dwell over the things you can not control? I am proud to have the right to vote but I am not stupid, my vote does good for my own soul and emotions then it ever will do to change the greed or corruptions of Government. As a woman the journey to vote in this country took courage and suffering of other women before me, I am honored by them to hold my own ballet in hand. I want to be a person for change, for hope and for a better quality of life, these things do not come from a new President or allowing the Government into our homes. WE THE PEOPLE need to wake up and realize that yes while we may vote, real change comes from our personal attitudes and choices. If we are hungry learn to cook food, if we are poor learn to save money, if we are hurt learn to heal. If we are sad then cry freely and if we are happy our lives will show it. No one person can care for us like we can, no one single vote will save the country and no one leader will be the hero that we all look for. I have changed quite a bit since Obama first arrived 4 years ago in office, that was back when I really believed in world peace being proven in his kind smile, in his clear statements in ending the war/wars......yet that didn't happened. I felt sick to my stomach over the death of many many more people since he took office. (this is a sad fact of a life lesson for me)
When I voted I stood thinking, asking myself will my vote ever really count? When will war of any kind ever end and how can a spoiled rich nation like this last in the history books forever? I want to say that my vote is for the peace loving people but I have been fooled before over such a thought....I simply just voted.
You know I really love being a part of a community, seeing my neighbors stand in line to vote as I stamp ballets till my fingers are bright green, or greeted the line of questioning people until everyone is aware of how the ballets worked. It's important to remember those little things like smiling kindly at a startled baby or helping a confused elderly lady, handing out the "I voted" stickers to a following kid who waits on their parent in curiosity. I can be a cheerful voting day clerk no matter what media dramas occur.
So Who really wins on voting day? I chuckle at such a question for it doesn't matter.....not when the true power and strength comes from our own hands and the real honesty comes from our own hearts!
As I grow into my own style of kitchen awareness, Over these last several years I have discovered the very best cooking dish is an Cast Iron skillet...(The kind Grandma used)
Cast Iron is worth every penny spent for the set. It will last your life time and the life time of your kiddos IF you can care properly for it.
This cookware is by far healthier as well, no added paint chips or chemical coating to brake off in to your stew or steak!
For any house warming gift these are BEST ideas! The small cast iron cooks up to four eggs at once and heats through very nicely. The big cast iron will make tasty pork chops and stir fry veggies in heart beat! My most favorite cast iron is the Dutch Oven I make soups and big fatty roast in that heavy well seasoned pot!
If you are starting to setup your own kitchen then remember CAST IRON cookware is the VERY BEST!
The proper care tips;
1. Remember to have an oven mitt if you need to touch the handle while cooking.
2. Remember to never wash in soap, only use hot water and a wash rag or nylon scraper.
3. Remember to dry with a towel, then rub a thin layer of grease like coconut oil, butter or bacon grease over the whole cast iron to store safely and prevent rusting.
It is very easy to use and love for a life time of great foods and fun!
This morning I got up earlier then I had in weeks or maybe even months! It was the Fall symposium day downtown Boise Idaho. A place where gardeners come together for a whole afternoon of slide show photos and lectures. Special speakers, newly published books and helpful tips on gardening make the whole day fly by!
I was bewildered at how long it actually took me to wake up, I really LOVED that I was there but I really am out of schedule to wake up like I'm use to....
The coffee and conversations helped and as I listened next to my mother-in-law Teresa during the day I felt excited to get back home to my own yard and gardens. The symposium shared good winterizing ideas as I thought over my own imagination and ideas. By the end of the day I had excited energy and a refreshing view towards the approaching winter.
This is a beautiful town to live in, this is a lovely neighborhood and I am truly inspired!
