I can see through looking back while growing up that if I spoke I better have it right, I better not stay silent and weak in any argument! So maybe THAT is where it comes from?
There is a relaxed familiar way among family in which I feel at liberty to speak my mind without a second guess, especially with my siblings I notice I am the worse at this..... The brother who grew up with me, just reminded me a few weeks ago of how rude I was to him 4 years ago arguing for Obama. I honestly didn't remember this conversation he brought up at all, It rather surprised me to see how hurtful it was of me! I remembered later on after he shared that I accused him of being racist, I had been watching Oprah around the very same time she said those who don't like Obama really are hiding the fact that he is black. This is the same line I said to my brother, He remembers it very clearly and I apologized. My sharp tongue will always follow me through life but I had hope to tame and understand it better by now...YET 4 years ago I was trying to reconnect to this brother and in one sharp sentence from me he was frustrated and annoyed then cut me out of our time together. It's funny I didn't even notice really, I remember emailing him a few days later then never getting the usual response so I simply moved on in my life never realizing what had happened...........I don't really know what it is in me that doesn't suffer from these clear rejection, my harsh words can be hurtful I need to know how to own them and change them for good things!
I really am thankful for being made aware when people are hurt from what I say, I can at least learn how not to do that again, to try and catch my sharp tongue before it's in action! Soooo if you see me walking around with drool down my chin, I haven't become a zombie I am just holding on to my rude moving tongue......slippery thing that it is!
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