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Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Age of Aquarius

     From the moment I woke up to the very second before I fell asleep my radio was never off through out all those years of having my own bedroom. I knew every oldie, every country music song...especially if I needed a good cry I found a sad song right away to help me release my emotional battles (Some things never change in me) 
The radio played always in my life from 17 years old to whenever I moved sister also gave herself away by what music she listened to in the next room. I liked knowing her moods by her music choices right away. Tucked away into my own room of rescue I found music to teach me about the big ol' world out there! I was able to dance away my abounding energies and face my fears. When I first captured "the Age of Aquarius " I was transformed into the sky, flowing over the beautiful lakes and rivers! I could relating to the dawning of my own coming of age stories and I truly lost myself in singing this song feeling so connected to something bigger then myself! This new idea of real HOPE for my future!

      My mother made me be the driver again of the car as we were heading into town "I am not so sure...." I responded while Mom settled into her passenger side with her huge icey cherry coke explaining to me "Since Dana isn't here anymore, you need to start driving more, it would be good practice for ya." I took a deep breath outside looking up at the huge cottonwood trees surrounding the farm before getting into the car with a quick prayer that I don't kill us. 
It was going to be a good hour's drive into the big city of Boise, my baby brothers had all their toys or bottles at the ready for any loud impatient behavior they might display. Then while the radio played and I relaxed a bit driving the car out onto the main freeway, I began to let the music fill my lungs as I drove on thinking how nice it is to think of something other then driving just as my mom suddenly turn the car radio off cutting me off in mid thought! 
"Why did you do that?!?" I asked as the silence filled the moving vehical
Mom snorted "You were starting singing along and YOU didn't even know it!!! SEE that is how they will get you!" 
I felt myself growing annoyed at my mother's usual regular sermons that broke out of her at random all through my teenaged years! Especially on topic "They will get you"
This meant to her that THEY  being the evil ones or Satan himself seeking to ruin us the good christian people that we are into tricking us to like the "worldly pleasures" out there then as a result we turn from God and start serving Evil or pleasing our selves over God. This was an old recited sermon from my mother making being around her unbearable at times! I got upset driving on into the long day at the mall shopping as it was her main hobby, my helpful ways in changing diapers or pushing the stroller allowed her time to dig down into all the sales racks. Yet here she went again turning off the radio during one of my favorite songs.
"THAT was not very nice! I was listening to the radio!" 
Mom smirked with a nod explaining "You were being deceived and didn't even realize it! THAT is how Satan works!"
I snorted "I know, I know, Satan is slipping through the radio or the TV always trying to get us to turn from God....." I rolled my eyes at this was such an old topic or passion of my mother's to preach about.
I pouted instead in the silence that I usually would be listening to the radio my mother went out in her very self-righteous points of view as if I simply didn't get it. I mimicked her word for word common speech in my silence as I drove on squeezing the steering wheel of our car. 
Finally I retorted back in a challenge "Didn't GOD make the universe? sooooo wouldn't HE be the one actually lining the stars and the planets in a row for the dawning of the age?!? Couldn't you think of the song like THAT?"
Mom's eyes grew wide in alarm as they so often did when I questioned her, she usually would speak up faster and never allow me time to retort or ask any more questions after that wide eyed worried look she would shot me then withdraw into her reciting bible verses and long history lesson about what God says to such crazy questions. I waited wondering if she ever once wanted to give up and say "God only knows....I sure don't!" Instead I was left longing to turn back on the radio to interup her endless sermon.
Mom continued on and on explaining to me "You were starting to know the words to that new age song, Satan was creeping in to fool you into thinking it was a lovely hopeful song when clearly the song is saying the Cosmo moves without honor to God. You can't put God into the song when it is so clearly NOT there! Where ever God is not mentioned then Satan IS there winning over the song's message! Listen to me Debby, I think you just want to believe the whole world is good and right and lovely when nothing can be so far from the truth...without God, without Jesus then there is no hope or joy in the messages of these song lyrics!"
I was happy to see the mall parking lot after all I noticed as we arrived and Mom began to calm down after my simple question. Then she explained why thsi whole thing had unfolded in the car...."Okay so I turned off the radio because I have always hated that song! Even back when it was picked for my high school graduation ceremony it makes my skin crawls with Satan using it against God. On the day I graduated from high school this song played for us and I kept praying God would forgive us for it! Then I knew God knew my heart even though I couldn't stop it's message from getting out! So naturally I was shocked YOU were singing it after all these years it still haunts me! I turned off the radio to stop Satan in his tracks!" Mom looked so proud now.
I perked back up at Mom's sudden flash back story, as I excitedly was learning something new about her. 
I asked very carefully "What? you think THIS song is demon possessed? Yet when you graduated didn't you stop to think of your new life ahead? The song promises a new age like turning the page in a book it's just story of change."  Mom flopped back into her seat with a snort and a big frown shaking her head replying back  "I'm so worried about you! You don't know what you are saying! You are making excuses so that you can still listen to it without feeling ashamed that God isn't honored in it and that maybe I am right, as your mother it's my job to keep you from hell's eternal fire! but you have to realize that I am right about avoiding places Satan dwells and those are hidden places EVERY where!" I suddenly took a deep breath facing the Boise Town square mall as we all got out of the car, I knew that she didn't get what I was asking her. A simple song held such fear for her but I wondered if I could make an argument that Satan hung out at the mall to shorten the day and get back home to my own beloved radio?
I remember thinking to myself against the sun light pushing the stroller behind my leading mother in through the dark doors of the long building
  "I want to believe in the good,  I want to be in the age of Aquarius....maybe one day"

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