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Thursday, January 9, 2014

Age of Parties

               When I was living in my own apartment with a couple of roommates we had a party every night or more like a gathering of friends coming and going ALL the time. 
If I got home from a hard day's work it was normal to hear loud laughter from the patio, sometimes I would simply put on my pj's and stay in my bedroom to read while those party noises or loud music filled the rest of my place. It wasn't an out of control raging party, just basically something was happening, loud with conversation even a few people sleeping on our many couches. 
I liked having company so much even when I working full time and beat up by over time, this lively home was still very comforting to me in comparison to back when I first moved in all alone. Because in that first month on my own I had to face my lonely fears, I had to pay attention to the voices of doubt in my head! Being raised to think the world is a horrible place made time on my own a bit crazy for me at first....
Getting a couple of roommates made my big wide open apartment come alive!
Although I knew I couldn't live forever that way, those 2 and half years were FULL of parties, with youthful adventures, discussions and future dreaming! 

Alantis Morrsette was playing in the CD player loudily as I was pulling out a baking sheet of my homemdae chocolate chip cookies from the oven, Holly was on her way outside to smoke just so we high-fived each other in passing while singing together "...Got one hand in my pocket and the other's giving a high-five." The patio outside next to the kitchen was full of friends already drinking and eating, everyone begged me for a batch of cookies so naturally I went to work in creating a cozy smelling home. Holly had just got home from work to the usual party group hanging out. Our other roomie Sarah was chilling in a lawn chair next to Jon, Dan and Liz. The main topic among us all was this new "war on terrorism" idea. (I stood my ground against it from the start, sometimes I felt alone on speaking out but that's another blog topic later on of course)  
With a platter of chocolate chip cookies more of our  girlfriends began showing up until there were 7 passionate feminists passing around the bong on the patio. I enjoyed all of these opinions, stories and connections to how we can create a better world for the respect of women. Then one girl challenged me asking "Why did you bake cookies for company? Are you suffering from brain washing that women SERVE others?" I wasn't smoking with the group so I kept this confrontation in mind that I simply liked chocolate chip cookies on my day off. As this group pounced on me for all my homemaking skills and mind set to be so "mothering" I replied back carefully "Taking pride in a clean home, caring for those who come into it and baking cookies has nothing to do with my being a female. It has to do with my desire for a good comforting home life, because I can NOT control anything out there in this crazy world, yet I can control my own home environment by my choice to cook or clean I am not a servant or slave."
These girls were impressed I wasn't offended or insecure about who I am, so talks like this happened all the time. 
One of the last nights we girls were all together I accidentally said to much, looking back now I understand of course! The girls drinking game was on a roll as I set the table with salad and pasta laughing at these same 7 ladies in my living room being so silly. Then the talk of all of them having slept with a mutual guy friend came up, it was horrible reviews. I had met this guy once and snapped at him for being gross and arrogant. He never approach me again, and one day I angrily asked him to leave my home after he used my roommate. She was grateful I was brave enough to get in his face making sure he was out of our home for good, now with all these girls gathering for dinner I sat down chuckling in remembering such a jerk as him. The girls liked how each other had the same experience and wish they never had sex with him, I listened and enjoyed my dinner with them. It was only when they all turned to me saying "Debby is the ONLY one at this table he didn't trick into sleeping with him! Why is that?" I threw my head back in such hearty laughter now just as another girlfriend said "So you need to sleep with him in order to be in our club." I was still chuckling and smiling as I felt so amused by this fact. "With y'all giving him 1 star rantings I think I will gratefully decline that idea! I knew he was a true asshole the moment he spoke, because my church was FULL of guys like him growing up! hahaha and that is one club I don't need to be made a fool for! hahahahaha" This was when I realized all 7 ladies were glaring at me in resentment. I quickly rose to clear the dishes still acting carefree and happy thinking maybe I was being a real bitch to them for saying such things out loud. That is just the risk in being real, open and honest at all those parties I guess!

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