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Saturday, May 11, 2013

Home Day

This month has me running all day long, I don't like it. 
This working part-time jobs all at once is more of a extra full time job in the end.....again I don't like to be away from home and all my responsibilities. I know it's all temporary, I know how to work hard and be dedicated THAT is not my problem. These jobs are all the same as well in cooking, cleaning and visiting. I have a graceful way in everything I touch to look better then when I found it, so it's not a hard job being a care taker, a cook, a housekeeper, a nanny, a guardian. These things I do every day in my own home, but that is the point I am NOT home, all day long I am gone.
I arrived home with the very same list of chores to do as in each house I had just been working.....
There is such a huge difference when my husband goes to work every morning, then in arriving home later on to sit, to relax over dinner and a movie. He will take off his shoes and socks at the door instantly, simply pour a drink and truly chill out.....Later he will ask "Where did my shoes go I left them on the floor by the door?" I usually reply with a smirk "I know where you left them, I tripped over them by surprise! I am sure those "cleaning fairies" put them back where they go." He will chuckle at my joke and this is everyday life for us to have our own jobs and responsibilities.
My home days are far different in comparison, my time getting off work and arriving home lately has been even more stressful then if I had never left.....
The thing is that it's NOT a new life lesson, my over all experience of working full time since getting married has been double the amount of work and chores. Learning how to handle this, trying to keep from comparing or taking house work on such a personal level like some "badge of honor" because I am really good at it and can't relax when it's not done, even when I worked really hard all day long away from home. I have no desire to make lots of money if it means everything I love struggles.
First is to remember that I have been here before over and over again I have been here and have learned NOT to take it personal. My husband is a very different person then myself, he doesn't see what I see, this is not a bad thing and I know how to handle it usually. I truly love my "home days", were as he is left frustrated at home by himself. Every so often our lives are shaken up to remind us what we love about each other and what we have to figure out in making life work better. For all I have learned and all I keep being reminded of lately is that I won't chase "the golden goose" in the job market, not at the cost of my sanity, my pets and my home!

"I've been trying to setup our budget." My husband Tony sighed annoyingly at me as I kept washing the dishes I replied "Oh good that's smart." He explains "I think you should get a job." I chuckle back "I do have a job." He shakes his head "No, not a nanny job but a REAL job....full time with real pay." I reply "It will work out, steady as we go, it always works out and we don't need to be rich when we are simply happy." I knew that I was saying this to him all year like a broken record so I turn to face him as he explained "We won't be happy getting into debt...." I nodded "Okay, I can work full time, maybe get on at a pet store or garden shop?" He alarmingly replied "Now don't be hasty! maybe you can find a job that is 20 hours a week with Friday, Saturdays and Sundays off?" I choked back my giggles and just shook my head as he waved his hands in the air "A job you don't have work early in the mornings and one that is not at night like maybe you could tell them you want to work 11am to 4pm." As I watched my husband setup all the guidelines for my hypothetical new job, I went back to cleaning the kitchen remembering over the years how my working hours drove him crazy.....Tony finally walked away saying "Budget or not I don't want you to work unless it's THE perfect fit for you...." I laughed out loud now replying over my shoulder as I finished my chores "It WILL work out, it always does!"

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