Lover of the Light Lover of ALL life I will seek all things good in this new year Last year was the year of tears This year was the year of chaos Lover of the Light I will seek a year of finally having peace Lover of ALL things I will know from what mountain top to jump off and fly! Last year was the days of dancing and crying This year was the days of working and carrying Lover of the Light I will grow beyond the earth to sky Lover of ALL goodness that people can bring forward Last year was when I hide from time This year was when I step up to carry the fire Lover of the Light Lover of ALL Last year was when I had to fight This year was when I had to surrender Lover of the light of which I can carry in my soul Lover of ALL as it moves onward Last year was as it was This year was as it is.....time never stops until our soul leaves, even then time doesn't stop for those around us so be a lover of the light! Shine as you are and LIVE in this arriving new year for all that it can be!
My favorite movie for Christmas is "It's A Wonderful Life." It's magical, it's loving and It's a classic! The beautiful message of how one person's life touches so many others is timeless! Happiness at the end of this film bring tears to my eyes every time and that deep rich message is refreshing for the soul, sharing the goodness of Christmas always! (This movie was also the one that got my husband to start liking Christmas again after we had been married a few years, because I watched it all the time he finally join me one day and truly loved it too!)
When it comes to another feel good movie "Elf" is my second favorite, (It's not pervy in normal Will Farrel ways) It is truly funny and clever! I have seen it a hundred times and laugh fully as if I have never seen it and quote lines ALL the time....My husband says I'm very much like Buddy the Elf, each year for Christmas I get super eexcited, decorate and having a very trusting way towards others around me. This movie shows how important it is to PLAY around Christmas time even if you are an adult! Magical stories of Santa, with candy cane forest and ideas of drinking tons of syrup makes me smile every time I watch it!
"A Christmas Story" was one of those popular movies while I was growing up that my mom wouldn't allow me to watch. Now it's my first movie to enjoy every year, I LOVE the whole family setup and what Christmas looks like through a kid's memory. The lamp leg makes me wish I had one in my own home, so AWESOME and the little brother stuck in the snow is so cute! But at the end of the movie the glowing of the tree in a dark home reminds me of my own place, if only we got fresh snow fall too then it's a classic movie coming to true life!
"National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation" I can not count how many times I make references to this movie during the holidays. It's hilarious and clever, showing how getting family all together at times is true craziness and yet the Dad has a picture of a romantic Christmas with everything and everyone is perfect beyond the reality of the situation. I feel JUST like him in this movie many times and so this is a film I watch over and over again!
"Love Actually" I saw this in the theater around Christmas and knew instantly that it will be a new classic and tradition to always watch for Christmas! Full of laughter, full of love, full of great music and with many different story lines of these people all connected makes this Christmas movie truly wonderful, inspiring and fun for the holidays!
"Bridgette Jones Dairy." Perhaps one of the most romantic holiday movies EVER! How real is Bridgette and how funny! She writes in her dairy with such thoughts that we all have had, she is truly adorable and clumsy. And yet she is learning in life how true love will find her after all.....my favorite scene is at the end of course for I would totally run after my man in my undies too! hahahahahahaha
"Grumpy Old Men" Not a traditional Christmas movie for everyone but I LOVE LOVE LOVE these old guys and hope we are all inspired to keep good friendships all through our lives.
"Muppets Christmas Carol" Every since I saw this as a kid I remember it all so well! I laugh more now in watching it then the first time, its a connection to my youth, a memory of how much I will always enjoy the Muppets, all the Christmasspecials that they did over the years I am trying to collect for it was such a fun time in history to have the Muppets around more!
Every Christmas eve we watch "A Christmas Carol" with George C. Scott at first it was very creepy to me, then my husband said it's from his childhood tradition so I've learned to enjoy it, now it's a very fun tradition. Not quite the upbeat happy movie like Mickey's Christmas Carol that I grew up on but still a holiday classic more real in life as we live it........
Whenever I go visit my mother for the day, I set aside my own personal time, my own personal shopping list and my way of life, to be with her one hundred percent! It is important to me that she feels pretty, feels strong and rested if we are going shopping. We will choose 2 or 3 stores to go to that she really wants, we will try to see family and friends of whom she wants to whenever possible and if we have time then we will eat at a place she is craving. My hope is to honor her, respect her and bring life to her wishes over anything else in the history of time at the very moment. This being said I still get pissed off by OTHER shoppers out there who do NOT see my mother's struggles in being paralyzed and half blind. I will hold my mother's limp arm over the shopping cart never letting go as it support her whole body weight. This is clearly visual to those around us, 2 women holding on to the same cart while walking very slowly and carefully, I don't care if the WHOLE world had to walk behind us and stupidly get stuck, while they are acting impatient or trying to cut in front of us, I don't care at all and don't take it personal, for THESE people can kiss my ass or just learn how to wait and I am PROUD to say so! When I go shopping on my own I hold the door for other shoppers without a second thought, I step out of the way really fast when a wheel chair is coming my way and I even grab things off of high shelves for people with canes, these are ALL strangers living and shopping beside me. I am the youth, the balanced protector so why not help a person off the floor if they trip or even flush the toilet for them when they are confused and lost in public restrooms???? THERE is nothing to fear in helping, in calmly waiting on another person!!!! AUGH I am still annoyed and very preachy by these people out there so clueless, so rude and so selfish! I WILL and DO tell them to their face what I see that they clearly DO NOT....Respect for OTHER people! When I shop on my own with my mother it is important for me to bring her into the store steadily, calmly and often I have learn to hold a door to get in with one leg and the other moves along side my mother's brace. When a gentleman comes to hold the door for me I can stand upright with chin high and thank him dearly, but it doesn't happen as an automatic anymore, where are those guys who held doors and carried your bags for you? Are we so guarded anymore that polite manners and kindness is an awkward moment? I hope to God that we wake up and start living with eyes wide open to other people's struggles....You don't have to move in with the old man and his bad leg but you CAN hold the flipping door awhile he walks in and shops even if holding that door means 10 extra minuets of your time to be still and yet smiling at all those more important peoples passing you by while plowing over the old man.....I see it time and time again those selfish souls when I walk side by side with my mom and I know exactly how to be very sweet and clear to them when they are the stupid ones, I also see help from many other sales clerks and customers so it's not all mean rude people out there but I have no problem facing the world as it unfolds in front of me. I will always protect and respect my mother, I will keep from loosing my temper when we are pushed around because I can speak, I can say what needs to be said and explained to those rude holiday shoppers how proud them must feel stepping on a handicap person, or ignoring personal space. I carry the fire, the love and the protection this is how I can stand my ground! This is how I can see the needs of others with no personal insult to myself, I can also seethat another shopper might just NOT be educatedon politeness, for that reason I write about this today....AND I will face them with all due respect in hopes to further their education on manners, if you are not blind, if you are not paralyzed then step out of the way or help for goodness sake!!!
There is always something happening out in the world, I can follow as much as I decide but sometimes I wish to hide away from getting so angry or so sad, it's my response to feeling helpless or afraid. I think being brave is very important but at the end of a bad day, the soft glowing lights allows you to cry and say there is no bravery anymore just sadness..... (I like how Jon Katz puts it in this blog post for I completely agree and know we are all not alone in these events out in the world around us)
When it comes to my beloved outside world I have noticed winter's slowness, coldness and lack of colorsmakes me easily sad. True we all need a break, a rest to regain the energy for spring but most importantly we need to keep in mind when cleaning up the landscape in the fall all those tall ornamental grasses and vegetation should stay put. Nothing should be cut or trimmed back until spring since the freezing cold of winter could kill your plants by pruning or cutting in the fall. What I love from harvest time is seeing berries and bushes fully stocked for the soon to arrive snow! ALL of Nature needs this food supply to survive the cold season. How amazing it is right now to watch my chickens find food that I left in my garden JUST for them this winter. Those huge pumpkins and squashes that decorated my home over Halloween now lay in my rock garden feeding all the birds and squirrels, my frozen water bowls are replaced with new liquid in hopes to keep all souls out there alive a bit longer through this winter. Gardening is a life style, creatures come to me with no fear of being hurt because I want for them to have the very best quality of life......Surely everyone would want this too? Remember in the winter to stock those bird feeders, to refresh the over night waters and leave blankets on lawn chairs for cats to keep warm! It's not hard to see the living move among bare trees and empty bushes, to hear the needs of winter's protection for all of the world. One of the most beautiful things to watch is how snow will be resting over a fully seeded grass with those little birds jumping in and out of it for food! THAT is all Mother Nature's perfect care and design so imagine a magical world where we all honor HER style and class, a chicken finds a dust bath, a cat finds a tuna can and the sunlight warms your smiling face while your dogs play chase! Winter's food brings such things together, the hope is that love and laughter will hurry on to spring again in the end.......
Whenever I had a free morning to myself in the winter of 2006, I would walk the length of downtown Boise Idaho or go to Katherine Albertson park with a freshly made latte. I would walk all over the parks in hopes to see a deer or some wild life in general and on one snowy December morning I saw such a sight in Katherine Albertson Park under the morning sunrise....(these were the days before I had any pets, before I packed water, poop bags and leashes everywhere I go) On this morning I was about to face a deep fear of mine, BIRDS. I like birds in the trees and sky as long as they stay there and don't dive bomb me then sure "Leave it to the birds." BUT as I rounded the trail in this amazing beautiful park I froze! My lips were sipping my coffee in hand with fuzzy gloves and matching hat I stood locked into the sight of THOUSANDS of geese! They were spread out over the open field more birds then I could ever count in one try! I began to walk backwards from where I had come and they hissed at me with those big black tongues If I could have screamed and thrown my coffee up in the air I would have! Instead I moved away in awe, in calmness I was starring at endless amounts of geese bodies, while trying to find my way back to my car as fast as I could without them noticing..... I honestly have never seen a time like that ever again. The geese were spread out across the whole landscape of this park on that mid-morning with a little dusting of snow yet side by side they stood with each other facing me all at the same time....and I knew I couldn't walk forward with such frozen fear inside of me! I may have faced the most birds at that moment then in the whole of my over all life time! So I scrambled to my car with no shame only a few drops of rushed coffee on my gloves! That is why walking with dogs now will make these geese fly away and I feel safe again! No matter how brave or knowledgeable I become with geese the VERY second they hiss or flap their wings I will squeal and run away!!!! Because I DID facemy fear, AND....It was terrifyingily clear how I needed to get the hell out of their way!!!
Without a doubt getting the Christmas tree every year is something that I plan and organize ahead of time for. I love the bright greens, reds and whites colors to decorate, the finished glow when all other lights are off in the house. How warm and romantic the holidays start to really feel when the tree is completely decked out! It is my most favorite thing to do, just sit next to the glowing real fresh pine tree with no noise, no distractions and take in it's full magic! Sometimes Christmas music will play, sometimes I will just drink a hot tea and nap under it's warmth. In these dark days of winter that Christmas tree becomes the light house where you know that you have made it HOME!
Time seems to stand still sitting next to the Christmas tree, the holidays are made warm and cozy just by being still. It's a classic tradition, one in which I will look forward to every year.......Setting up my new tree for this season's greetings and special silent nights!
The golf course was dark and silent, the cars parked in rows along the club house. Women dress up in high heels and jeweled small purses walked in swinging one hip at a time and then I sighed. Office Christmas parties are the quintessential stage where everyone makes small talk, most likely will show off the levels of success they achieved at work over the past year or they might get back into office gossip as if we are all back in the offices once again. Those unfinished conversations that only other employees know what is going on could follow. I have sat through many such times, seen good and bad years so I feel very at ease in any case as it could go down. I've discovered how to truly enjoy a office Christmas party with it's truth in giving, laughing, having fun and simply just seeing everyone for the respect they deserve. I remember my very first Office Christmas Party at the golf course like it was just yesterday...... Tony, my husband, had been with the call center for these big businesses over 6 months when the Christmas Party came about and I took the evening off from my coffee shop job to join him. I had been in and out of his office all the time, even sometimes carrying trays of everyone's coffees but this was different in socializing and maneuvering through the bigger crowd of bosses and supervisors dressed in their holiday best. When it came to groups of people whatever the size I had no fears, I could carry on a conversation or just sit in silence with a nod or smile. On this event I happily found the Christmas Tree in the lobby glowing bright golden and green. I could hear the laughter, the many conversations going on at once and see all the candles at our tables as I circled the huge tall tree I sipped on a glass of red wine while wondering to myself "How did I get here? How did I grow up to be a woman with a jeweled purse and sparkling heart earrings?" My black dress barely touched the floor and my black boots were hidden underneath as it rested off my wide bare shoulders. I curled my hair only to clip it up half way to one side and I glided around the room slowly, I enjoyed the peacefulness of the decorated tree and I watched from a far towards all the noisy strangers I might never see again in all honesty.... I remember the catering company working hard to serve and set up the food at this event as I walked around the tree. I was surprised at first that I felt oddly out of place, I noticed a friend of mine was a cater so I spent a good while catching up and tagging along side her to visit. She had to remind me that it was about time to eat so I should find my table, being served over cloth napkins made me realize that I was not in some fairy tale this was actually my new married life. I ate carefully thinking about how or what to say next, the evening was unfolding at such a fast pace full of sparkling people and inside office jokes with long speeches and even more shots from the fully stocked bar. I was watching these people who acted so mature and successful an hour before the meal turn into college kids with endless booze! Again that golden glowing classy Christmas tree was where I delightfully escape to, I sat drinking my now coffee for dessert time enjoying the tree for most of the later evening. My husband was busy, he had his many friends, those bosses to be with and so I was completely contented to sip over all my thoughts of Christmas thinking to myself "How rich a party this is? I've never seen anything like it! I can't believe I get to enjoy it!" The ladies sitting on my husband's lap kept squealing out how much they like him and how funny he was while I chuckled at such silliness thinking also to myself that I hope I never get drunk like that! My friend in the catering company stood behind me with her arms folded in a mad frown "No, No, Debby you get over there and yank those skanks off your man!" I looked back at her in surprise asking thoughtfully "What are skanks?" She snorted and quickly half dragged me towards them I shook my head at all this silliness once again. It was getting late so under the frown of my friend and screams from the ladies who were clearly drunk, I simplytapped the car keys together to get my husband's attention for it was time to go, I didn't say a word to get him out of the center of all their attention. I just walked back to the Christmas tree saying over my shoulder to my watchful friend "It's really no big deal, I think they are all friends and work in the same area or something.....honestly, I've been watching them for awhile and it's all justfor fun." My friend looked soften for a moment from her deep frown of frustration, saying very clearly at me "You just don't fit into this world very well now do you? It's all about who has the power and who will win! Debby, YOU have the power over those bitches, as the wife you have the right to go over there and kick some ass!" I smiled back at her saying in a half chuckle "AND I also have the car keys....so my escape would be in a flash!" We laughed and waved as I left feelingconfident once again and very happy to have been apart of such a nice place I realized that I wasn't cut out for "acting on stage" like in these office parties, so I decided from that moment on I would be simply me, which meant carrying my own space every where I go......For Ialways go straight to the decorated tree each and every time!
Ya know Christmas wasn't always such a tradition for me, when I first got married my husband hated the holidays fully while I ran circles around him like Buddy the Elf. We were working all the time back then and had just moved to Boise Idaho. As I was working at Starbucks in the north end of old Boise where the sidewalks gave way for me to escape into that Christmas magical glow from the lights of those houses. I walked on my breaks as much as possible to catch my breath and wipe off my sweaty coffee smell in order to remember there was another world beyond those high maintenance customers. My training Supervisor Aaron was outside on the patio smoking when I returned back to work from such a nice evening walk, I had attended his wedding earlier that summer with our first store group, we came from such a fun, outgoing, high-fiving, hard working coffee shop that now in different new location we still stayed good friends. "Hey Shively." Aaron caught me at the door as he said "The Wifey and I are going to cut down our Christmas tree tomorrow afternoon...wanna come along and get your tree too?" I lit up with excitement, I really liked his young sweet wife and even though they are not married anymore I still think they were a cute couple. While working the next morning I was focused on getting out to cut a tree down, my husband had said that it all sounded insane and dangerous, but I was truly thrilled! The 3 of us tucked into Aaron's small pickup truck and drove up the mountain..........it was fun how we chatted over our favorite holiday movies, what colors we were planning to decorate these trees and quite honestly we were laughing all the way! Aaron was a chain smoker so before we even left the truck on the snowy road side he had a full cigarette,Those snowy slopes had us ladies trailing after Aaron in a floppy, funny way, after an hour into the woods we talked about how important it was to always see the truck behind us on that hillside. 3 hills later I demanded a break out of breath and arms aching in carrying the shovel, Aaron had the main axe as he said this tree had to be PERFECT, so we looked everywhere for it. I joked about how a ray of sunshine hitting the tree would really help right now. Finally Aaron declared this huge tall tree was the one and I stood starring in shock at it's girth , It was perfect looking alright but it was also very very heavy. After a while I even helped swinging the axe when Aaron drew out of breath, I surprised that the whole job was very heavy and took strength I didn't even know I had in swinging.Aaron's tiny little wifey was so cold and wiped out that she carried all the tools back to the truck in order to warmed up again. It was a long ways off that frame of the pickup truck. when the tree finally fell to the ground...I slowly let out a realization "Holy Shit man...we are not going to fit this tree in the back of your truck!" Aaron laughed back at me with a nod of confidence "Yeah it will work...we just got it get it over there." An easy plan, a good thought but the realitywas slow moving, I was surprised at how pokey those pine needles were, how the tree trunk stuck to my coat and gloves.....I noticed that my big arms were carrying most of this tree along with my wild messy hair and snow covered tennis shoes. I have always been the kind of person not to care about such things while working, during one of our many breaks laying the tree down and catching our breath while spatting out any word that comes to mind......Aaron and I were both laughing and trying to catch our breath at the same time. "This tree is kicking my ass!" He said finally after hacking up his lung again we were on the 3rd hillside slopeI replied back over my shoulder for I lead the way down the trail "Well, You had to get a perfect tree no matter what!" It was a true mess of freezing cold snow, muddy bank sides, pine trees outlining our walking trail and the 2 of us carrying a freshly cut down evergreen mixed in with our body sweat and Aaron's cigarette smoke. We wanted to take our jackets off as we were over heating in all that maneuvering across the forest valley, but then that cold wind would hit us in face going uphill again and again. We hurried on the trail but it felt like we were stuck in place with all our clothing, caps, gloves and scarfs still on. "THIS is true Bullshit! I thought I was stronger then some ol' tree!" I spatted out as we made it to the slope below the parked pickup truck. We laid there against the ground coughing and groaning waiting for a miracle to get that thing into the back of the truck where we didn't have to do anymore climbing, I remember how clear that sky was after seeing nothing but pine needles and branches in front of me duringthat hour hike. "I could NOT have gotten this far without you Shively." Aaron moaned out laying across in the wet uncomfortable snow bank. I began to laugh out loud as I rolled on the ground saying back at him "NOW I know why I was invited....." Those final steps in getting that tree hooked into the truck took everything out of us just as Aaron's wife called out from the pickup window "Don't forget Debby needs to get her tree now." Aaron and I exclaimed at the very same time "Oh Fuck!" Then I quickly went over to the side of the road and declared that 3 footer was mine! Aaron was both grateful while laughing at me as I clearly spatted out in my messy exhaustion. "I am truly DONE with cutting down a tree, for it's far less romantic then how They make it look in movies! I mean once that son of a bitch is cut down who the hell in their right mind will carry it ALL the way back? I'm tellin ya this little guy is the perfect tree to ME! We can cut this and toss it in the back no need for perfection I like it and it's right here in front of us! DUDE I am NOT going back out there it's almost night time anyway, this is craziness, craziness!" Once home My husband exclaimed "What the HELL happened to YOU!" I simply smiled back through the mud, the sap and thousands of pine needles in my hair and face stating proudly like this is way everyone looks afterwords"Why I've cut down my own Christmas tree of course, HA!"
Babysitting comes natural for me since my first "baby watching" job was when I was 9 years old and since I am the oldest growing up I have always had siblings around to look after, babysitting is one of those jobs that I think is really awesome and fun, I still like doing it.I just call it "Hanging Out"especially if the kid isn't actually a baby, because I remember being 7 years old when my babysitter said she was"babysitting" me, I got really upset for I knew that I was NOT a baby anymore. Soooo I will always think of that when saying things like"I'm watching over them" It's by far more kind to their self-respect, their self-identity, as kids do take these moments to heart.I remember what it was like being a kid so very well.... My adventures in babysitting has given me a wonderful world into the eyes of children, I really hope that I can give all kids a magical spark for their journey in life!
My Aunt had just bought a beautiful home so I was able to babysit for her at the drop of the hat if needed. I was newly married loving the freedom to walk around downtown Boise or cook in my cozy condo. Her two little boys were so clever, with dark hair and eyes they were around the same ages as my little brothers, which my brothers had blonde hair and blue eyes so when we all came together I would embrace them at once happily going to places like the Circus, the Fair or the Zoo. I really enjoyed babysitting my 2 cousins whenever I could, it was a fun night when my Aunt showed me her new place. The wrap around porch and black counter tops against the rich wooden cupboards and nicely organized pantry. My favorite place was the fireplace in the wide open living room, on this particular evening as I got through the whole tour upstairs there were only a few sleeping bags on the soft nice carpet in the master bedroom I asked "You don't have any beds?" My Aunt replied back "It's all ordered, just waiting for them to deliver the furniture." I stood there with a sudden spark for adventure as soon as she was gone, my cousins and I sat in front of the fireplace glow while I explained how lucky we were to have this whole huge house empty and dark to ourselves. "It's time to play Hide n' Seek, the only safe place is this glowing patch on the carpet from the fire okay?" They nodded and agreed excitedly, so as I counted down against the fireplace, they shot out to find hiding places! That dark night in a completely empty home we ran, we slid and we squealed! I never had to worry if those boys would crash into ANYTHING, we climbed the stairs, we laughed so hard and we played hide n seek for hours that night until we laid sweaty wiped out on the floor of the dinning room. We decided to have sock sliding contest on the wood floor in the kitchen, we tried to get the youngest boy to slide down the laundry shoot and we rode pillows down the stairs but then just as soon as we were refreshed we were back to hide n' seek in the dark again because without a doubt it was the BEST conditions for a carefree chase through the open darkness towards the glow of the fire and the loud laughter as we ran for it!
Black Friday has to be the biggest scam like saying there is a Santa Clause to GROWN children....I hate that day with passion because it shows our national greed as a society and a sad waste of time. Not to be so preachy mind you, I laugh as I write this because I don't care one way or another if people decide to behave crazily rude on this date every year, it is part of their freedom to buy into the excitement, to buy anything on that day if they want. THIS year I noticed how nice it was that all the people went out to shop at the butt crack of dawn leaving that evening's walk on the beach wide open for me. I loved my lazy morning coffee time saying goodbye to my Aunt and Uncle, eating lunch with my cousins downtown Portland then arriving to a rainy Cannon Beach. A shop clerk told me most people left that lovely peaceful town to shop in the big city for Black Friday. I was surprised by this, wondering who in their right mind would live like THAT? maybe the question should be more like how lucky am I to have the Oregon coast to myself??? Perhaps if all the shoppers on Black Friday were required to work on a black Friday at least once in their lives they wouldn't celebrate so easily? At least for me I learned quickly how to find my happy place among this crazy stupid tradition. THIS year it was on the wet soft sand of that amazing Oregon Coast but I wasn't always so lucky...... The darkness of my bedroom told me it was 3am, I had to get up no more hitting the snooze button on my alarm clock. My husband Tony would be upset if I didn't wake him to say goodbye although I thought it very rude of me to do so, it's way early he doesn't have to get up for another 5 or 6 hours why wake him? Yet he requested so I usually did, I never made a noise in getting ready everything I did was in the dark and I slipped out of our newly setup Condo to my coffee shop job. THIS was Black Friday and I have no clue what was about to unfold behind those espresso machines, I liked getting work early to listen in the warmth of my car NPR as I wait for my boss or supervisor to show up. The new girl was extremely annoying with long blonde hair that she loved to swing back and forth while walking, she would talk right through her nose loudly reminding me in her training manual I was not steaming the milk right. I didn't usually argue I wasn't feeling like a seasoned employee yet so I took her with a grain of salt and something always to learn by. Then on this morning of all mornings getting to work early back fired as this new girl ran from her car into my car without an invitation. I had barely parked my car when she knocked on my passenger window, The rain outside was cold and the darkness all around reminded me it was dangerous for her to stand out there long so I reach over to unlock the door thinking to myself "Ooooooh DEAR GOD...." She swung in like we had known each other all of our lives and I sipped on my coffee mug in silence. People who know me laughover how I was the silent one but it was 3:30am and I was only 25 years old not quite adjusted to being ready for an early morning. The new girl began without a formal greeting, "I love Black Friday, all those sales and great deals this is really hard for me to here right now, I was meant to go to the mall with my Mom and husband but they promised to buy my stuff for me I am getting a brand new winter coat since I have this job I need to look nice while staying warm getting up this early, and my husband says only the very best for me. He almost got me to call in sick today hahahahaha I'm like you girls wouldn't survive without me so no I didn't do that for him but once he makes enough money I'll be able to stay home. It's just so hard to miss out black Friday my family were so sad we are the true professionals in shopping with our walkies talkies and people really envy us for knowing how it's done!" I suddenly realized I had been gripping my steering wheel for no reason. She continued "Everyone is giving me such a hard time about my beautiful long hair and I told them that YOU have long hair too, you even wore pigtails the other day behind the counter I saw you! Sooooo I'm not going to pull my hair back if YOU don't have to as well HA!" I mumbled "Oh that's great..." She continued talking through her nose as I stared straight ahead pleading to myself not respond. This new girl was the hardest person I ever had to help train and for the most part my manager knew not to schedule us in such a close time frame but on this morning in my car I could hear my manager say "I want her to hang around you more Debby and learn how to be nice not just outgoing there is a difference she could benefit from you." I mumbled "Oh that's great..." Now facing the arriving 4 am hour on that black Friday I realized why she sat inside my car suddenly. She rolled her eyes and snorted "I was told you would be here this morning..." I cut in with alarm "You were?" wondering why no one had told ME about her...she nodded as she explained "Yeah I was told you would help me out in talking to customers better but we both know THAT'S a joke, I am usually the one training YOU!" She tossed her hair in my direction with a long laugh as my jaw tighten then I said over and over to myself "Find a happy place, Find a happy Place, FIND A HAPPY PLACE!!!"
Over the last several years I've kept saying that we would getover to my Aunt Chris for Thanksgiving as it would be wonderfully fun to do!....but life unfolded in many different ways until finally I declared no second guessing this year we were going! How inspiring it was to hear my Aunt had moved to a new place with much more room. Since I love my Aunt Chris and her husband Uncle Steve with all my heart, with all my joy in how they treat everyone in honest respect and true kindness. They have a peaceful calm good life in their new place with 2 Boston terriers and the occasional company of their hard working grown children. I truly have enjoyed getting to know my cousins, Kelsey and Jerram. Growing up they were very busy in Portland that swinging into Grandma and Papa Rudy's home wasn't as often to see them. I don't think it was a bad thing at all just by looking at how good and nice they are, such Family dramas never reached them and I find that so refreshing! This year was a great event, my husband said it was clear that everyone sitting around the table WANTED to be there and actually liked everyone else not just trying because it's a holiday and it's required for family to come together. I smiled so big for he was exactly right! It was a fact that I noticed in the whole perfect day also! My cousin Henry and I have been connected since he was born, I look back at the picture with me holding him as a newborn and as the years moved on with other pictures of us always together, when we had an argument or a fight we never stayed mad at each other long......I like that we are always friends so having him join us in Portland with his husband Alex became something of a perfect magical moment! The eight of us over turkey dinner was a truly beautiful joyful thing to see and as we circled the newly setup table with candle light I took it in with a deep breath while thinking to myself.......we are HERE in this amazing moment RIGHT NOW! How wonderful!
During the after noon My Husband Tony got his board game out bringing laughter to the dinning room, with Jerram, Kelsey and Alex. My Aunt Chris could watch over them and talk with them from her kitchen as it was wide open, she made snack trays then got back to her amazing mashed potatoes. Cousin Henry and I sat in the connected living room with the lit fire as Uncle Steve joined us. Among the 3 of us visiting and cuddling along side the napping dogs, the perfect feeling over how we were all safe and warm while it rained outside made me drink my red wine in a happy smile! I love this family, my beautiful Aunt as she cared over everyone and brought the true magic to the table of a perfect roasted turkey! Being thankful was an endless emotion that we all shared, that we all embraced. My husband laughed till he couldn't breath as my cousin Henry did his stand up jokes, My Uncle Steve kept saying it was great to hear all of our different political views, even getting pretty excited over ideas in how society can work better. My Aunt Chris has this endless warm welcoming beautiful smile that makes me so happy, so grateful to know her in my life! She said it best in summing up this perfect full day when she said "I just love this! I really do!" The family shared dishes around the table, laughed together, debated together and were genuinely grateful for each other......perhaps a historical moment from within this bigger family that we come from.....Turkey day brought out the best in us all and true friendships like that should never be taken for granted! I am so grateful, so in awe of having such a holiday with happy, good people <3
This last Saturday I wrote on my facebook profile thatit's a wonderful life and then just a few minuets later as I browsed a gift shop in the lovely town Cannon beach I came across a Christmas decor saying that VERY same thing and excitedly it was even on sale so quite naturally I bought it with such delight and my husband chuckled as I made the same look of the nick nack to him! THIS is the holidays and I am so thrilled to be in the magic of it all.....What perfect timing for me who never really buys very many things, seeing something that is a reflection of how I feel in such a perfect way. The ocean waves will always bring me to such peace and then seeing Cannon Beach deck out in Christmas lights and music got me into those cozy little shops with a warm coffee in hand. I smiled to myself, nodding to those passerbys and sung along with the seasonal tunes but it was when my heart stop dead that I saw this Christmas decor item, I thought in awe how being connected to the universe for THIS moment of clarity was truly FUN, for I was finding a PERFECT purchase! (soooo miracles can happen hahahahaha)
I shall carry the fire I shall always know how we need each other I will not be afraid of rejections or judgements because the fire is strong I know how important that flame is in understanding others, in helping out when I can I like the warmth, the confidence and peace that comes with carrying the fire I give my life force to the flame and can see no shame in shinning from within A fire is a rescuing place from the dark and cold, from the storms and struggles in life A fire is something real and true with a good message for how to also keep it in respect.... I shall carry the fire I shall always know how inside of me with all my messages and my stories I can choose to better the world with one spark at a time As the rain storm hit the coastal small town outside I sat in front of the fireplace thinking of how warm and safe I was, Of how important a good life is to me in being balanced and strong. I am so grateful, so thankful that I can or that ANYONE can also carry the fire for our souls! The world is an amazing wonderful place! The world is full of such moments that when carrying the fire teaches us or saves us from tough mistakes and hard lessons learned, This fire brings us all together and warms our hearts for a better day!
So carry the fire always and light up your journey as you go
This Thanksgiving weekend was a romantic reflection on everything we are thankful for! Spending some time on the Oregon Coast was one of the highlights in which I knew my heart could NOT be as full as it was! Especially in the moments I was dancing on the sand! (Although the sand was a smooth glossy wet paste) I kept sliding and waving my arms out to dance as my husband laughed at me! We were sitting there together on a log facing the front of haystack rock planning on returning for a longer vacation next time....I am thankful for that moment in time where everything even my soul stood still to the sound of the waves with seagulls singing!
In my home during these windy, rainy days of fall I like to do what I call "Nesting", a life style of loving the space I am in! Nesting is cleaning, organizing and simply just being inside! I read, I knit and I cook, I pet my dogs and carry around my cats while chatting away with them as if they were human. I hang up Christmas lights and fluff up my bedding, wash clothes and sweep floors...NESTING is a wonderful life! I love my many hooks and shelves for everything to have a place, my husband Tony said he really likes my creativity but most importantly he likes how I "build up".....I try to keep my floors cleaned up with things moved upward more to the ceiling. I have always loved hooks for hats, scarfs and coats even purses and belts...little hooks hold necklaces and big hooks hold towels by the tub! When I first see a room I sense these ideas in how to use that odd space above our heads. Like with pictures, soft lighting and beautiful flowers that space can be built up! Book shelves are some of my most favorite to use in displaying dishes and kitchen items this allows messy things like bags or paper plates to be tucked away in the kitchen drawers and hidden out of sight in cupboards.
This is a corner of my bedroom that I haven't been able to reach with the dog crates underneath.....So I wanted a basket for all my yarn and while it took up space on the floor or in a bag I happily saw an idea to hang my pink and yellow crochet shawl in a triangle with thumb tacts one in each corner to make my own flexible shelving! When a friend stopped by and saw it she loved this clever corner and I got to thinking that I am FULL of such ideas all the time!
Recently in Boise Idaho a fast food restaurant opened up called Chick-Fil-A, I drive by every time I go home from being a nanny for the evening....The place is packed out and the drive-thru line is crowded in cars! I don't eat much chicken anymore so the place looks gross to me but to others it's very popular. I don't get it because chicken is a WHITE meat a very weak excuse for food! Most people who believe in white meat gasp when I explain how bad for you this meat is....Well white meat is better for you then say white BREAD but it's not worth eating in my opinion. How does the human body work? You have to ask yourself if chicken is giving you the fat and iron you need to survive when all is said and done. The only chickens in my life lay eggs, and eggs I can eat every single day!
My ladies of laying, they are beautiful, they are funny! The 2 sisters above in light tan feathers I have named Thelma and Louise! I don't need a Chick-Fil-A when I have these souls to enjoy living!!!
