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Monday, May 1, 2017

Sweet Siblings

                I can't imagine my life without facebook, I have been so grateful for it since 2008 and I have learned so much more about my Brother Derek through that connection of easily commenting, chatting and liking our shared pictures because of the amazingly sweet social media. It is exactly what you will it to be.
It can be full of horrible people or of great good people, it can make you smile and laugh or frown and groan. I have said it from the very beginning of it's popularity to the these very sad days of my life as I reflective over and find once again the many connections Derek and I had.
Facebook is the most AMAZING program to connect humans so easily and so instantly in real time <3 Then after a sudden death, after a sudden trauma or loss you can flip back through time, you can cry all alone with the laptop open to the profile and face of the one who is now gone forever <3 When I first notice people writing letters online to their family members who had died I was wondering why didn't they close down the FB profile? Now I understand the comfort and the connection you need to that person who once strolled along liking your photos of garden plants or pets napping, they made a joke about your latest hobby or recipe and now all those little moments online become such a big part of your hurting heart that never again will they say "Hey, hey, hey just thinking of ya and hope all is well."
Never again will they share a big smile and a laugh out loud (LOL) to your clever new status.
I look back in time and I am very proud of how my brother Derek and I interacted with each other because we were friends not just family, we were there for each other while being busy in our own little worlds.
Never again will we message back and forth about the next family get together nor will I be able to say "Come meet up with Mom and I today we will be out shopping till 4pm."  
I am grateful Derek's facebook pictures are just one click away and I find his comments still so funny as if he said them just yesterday.....
I am comforted by how close he feels in these online connections, I just wish I could find him face to face again because NOTHING can replace REAL people in REAL time and nothing can make this grieving process go away, I wake up every day since February 25, 2017 to find a place to cry before going back out into the world....sometimes that place is clicking on back through Facebook.

Happy Birthday Sis. Hope you have lot's of fun to day and plenty of slobbery Dog Kisses. — celebrating a birthday.

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