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Wednesday, September 29, 2010

my protective instinct

It was just the other night as we settled into the couch to watch an episode of "Madmen" on our computer. I had just handed my husband Tony a small bowl of mixed nuts before the show started. A knock at our door had us all up. even the dog Oscar knew this wasn't the time of night for visitors. Our neighbor sharing our condo wall was really upset. I have grown to know them like all my neighbors, I am outgoing while almost always outside in our big shared yards and gardens. On this night when my neighbor asked for us to call the police, she couldn't get to her little girl as some big guy was locking her out of her own home. Now I was alarmed knowing this little girl who plays with my dog all the time. I was right beside the Mom demanding this guy to let her in to her daughter. My husband was explaining to the police this new situation from his cell phone on the couch. When I glanced back at him I could tell he was trying to wave me back inside our home, it was just at the same second that this guy opened the door and a crying scared little girl ran right into my arms. I went directly inside my own home, to avoid the battle between this guy and the mother. When I put this little girl down next to Oscar he leaned into her as she giggled at him, then she was alarmed saying someone needed to help her Mommy. As I moved towards the door my husband stopped me by shaking his head, looking very stern. So I just stayed with the little girl, comforting her, petting Oscar. We talked about what a sweet dog he is. It really happened so fast this next door drama, when the Mom came to claim her daughter she said they were heading the police station but the cops ended up at her front door. Now my husband had a few things to say to me about my reckless involvement. He said we broke every rule by having them in our home when we don't know anything about the situation. I have no doubt he thinks these things through logically, but I reacted emotionally. I thought if I was a single Mom and couldn't reach my daughter then I would seek help from my neighbors and if they just talked to me through the crack of their door I would still feel so helpless! 
I do put myself into the shoes of other people so quickly that I forget to protect my own feet. This whole situation came into our lives very quickly and everyone is safe now. But I am still pondering my actions, my protective instinct could get the better of me. Why do I just assume I know right from wrong, that I am so sure I have some invisible protection? Why do I worry over the things I can not control? For in my relating to my neighbor I just assume that if I was her I would want someone standing at my side. Yet if I was her I wouldn't even be in that situation because I have never allowed a man to bully me. So really where does this quest for righteousness come from?  Why do I always think it's up to me? Perhaps in these next few days I will take the time to reflect on these questions. First I should humble myself to say I am sorry to my sweet hubby who worries this is just the beginning of the trouble I will get myself into. I understand I can be fearless, I need to learn how not to be mindless. 

2 comments:

  1. i adore you... and you are always so quick to help out and lend a helping hand... or a an ear... or just your heart. Tony is right.. you do need to be careful where you tread... but also find a way to help from a safe haven when the situation warrants caution... and clearly domestic disputes are never a good situation and can erupt violently without any warning... so do use extreme caution... but that little girl was so lucky to have you and most importantly sweet loving oscar to comfort her!

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  2. Ooooh Thanks Mom! It was so great to see you tonight! I can tell this is your favorite season to sit outside with a glass of wine<3 Your hair looks great by the way...I didn't get a chance to mention:-)

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