Coldplay - Talk

Dear Derek,
Happy Thanksgiving!
I hope you swing by in the sky to see us all sitting/talking in your kitchen.
We sure miss you all the time, every second actually.
Mom really wants to see you again, it makes her think Heaven is where the party's at now :-)
Dad really wants to talk with ya again he has so many good stories about you that pains him to share but when he does I sure listen :-)
Dana has a picture of you hanging up in her new home :-)
Daren, Doug and Davey have such love for you, that I look forward to seeing them stop by and just hanging out :-) 
Everywhere around here is pieces of you, I like cooking with your kitchen tools and baking up your spices. Brewing your teas and always lost in our memories :-)
I see you in my mind's eye just 2 years ago today in this kitchen lit up in lights, activities :-)
What a fun day that was, even though you had a head cold and even though the wind kept blowing out the burner for deep frying your turkeys.....I can still taste that lemon zest in your huckleberries :-)
You made it such a magical holiday for all us to come sit with you in your beautiful home :-)
You are missed by more then just your family, yet another year is here and I am honored to live where you did :-)
I think that Thanksgiving was so much as we cuddled, as we leaned into each other and half hugged while laughing so much in your kitchen and lost in recipe ideas :-) 
I think about how I felt the need to capture us all in a picture or 2, because as I helped Mom get around I thought our time all together is fleeting, I hope to remember this day always.....
I had no idea it was YOU we were capturing, YOU who was fleeting to us all :-(
I say it every single day sometimes in tears, sometimes in fear, sometimes in anger and sometimes in pure defeat I say it towards the sky if God is watching, "I DO NOT WANT A LIFE WITHOUT MY BROTHER DEREK."  and yet here I am a few weeks away from 2 years ago.....
If I die young it will be by total accident, like you it will not be planned nor wanted, for I know I live to help the world while I am here, not sure why or how but I sure like that feeling that I am right where I am suppose to be :-) I miss you so much on this day as we made such a good cooking team!
May I carry the fire for you into all the holidays, into the future for our family :-)
May I see you again one day :-)
May you know how much love we carry on for you now :-)
May you laugh at my constant clever jokes and cooking adventures nowadays :-)
May you rest in peace, for I am ever so thankful for you Brother!
I love ya Derek, Happy Holidays!
Many hugs and high fives, 
Your silly sister Debby