Yesterday I woke up very aware of how everything changed on this date 7 years ago, I never like remembering horrible things. We should have anniversaries for GOOD things in our lives so I struggled through tears all day. I went to the garden store and put together my gardens and worked in my back yard in hopes to dedicate my memories of trauma to growing NEW things....
My sister's words through the phone at 7am against the bright morning sunlight from my bed of sleeping pets and a worried husband, "Mom is having a stroke and on her way to the hospital." I cried out in alarm and fell into the side of my bed. I cried out "OH MY GOD! Hare Krishna! What the fuck! Dear God have mercy!" Then in the shower I screamed out "Calling all angels!" and raced off to the hospital with hands shaking and heart pumping!
Many valuable people came into my life from that day on and I look back in awe of all I have learned, in all I have been challenged to grow and to change with the events from that day.....
last night I was crying again as I missed my brother and my best friend,
they were there.
On this date 7 years ago.
They were right there in the hospital with me as we faced such a scary day for my mother.
and I miss them so much.
I have grown comfortable with the way my mother is now but I really do miss her too, I miss seeing her drive around with such ease and meet me for lunch.
I miss how energized she was as she worked away in her gardens.
So yesterday I planted in my own place in honor of her life force that has been split, she's now waiting for her other half of the brain to come back together.
Trauma has taught me to treasure THIS moment and hold on to the people who come to my side!
Because Calling ALL Angels comes to us all in the end.
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