In The Blink of an Eye

I blink my eyes when I wake up and lay there for a moment to think about my dream.

I always dream, I always have something profound to discover while I sleep, just like in real life I seek the profound.

I love sleeping, resting and napping.

I don't sacrifice my need to heal, to have down time when my body demands it.

I enjoy waking up slowly, thoughtfully.

I look forward to the new day as simply as I can make it. I always drink a full cup of coffee before taking off. I always give lots of attention to my pets and sit a moment with my husband if he's still home in the mornings.

Life shifts into different routines and schedules, I will always miss the mornings where we had big breakfast time on our covered patio every morning till 10am, we were young and starting out on life so those will always be my cherished happy memories.

I still love my mornings, that sparkling sun light with a whole day ahead of great things to accomplish!

I still remember how beautiful the morning was of the day my brother died, no wonder he was out early snowboarding it up! For it truly was a PERFECT start to such a tragic sad day.

I realize how important mornings are, for in the blink of an eye it's a hot afternoon.

I use to walk my Oscar every morning at the park, in fact he and I spent days by the river or in the foothills before the heat came on.

I love summer mornings the best! The world is growing and changing so I get to be out in it!

I have noticed my dreams have been very emotional lately, where as waking up to do projects has me distracted from my grief. I think it's good to not waking up crying right now, instead I wondering why I was crying in my dreams? It was so real in my dream to sob and share my hurt to the people there but in the blink of an eye I wake up and sigh, I will do good things today in hopes to heal from the hurt that is always in me.

I sat with my life long friend Tiffany as she shared just the other day "You look good, like you are getting back into your life." I smiled and nodded explaining "It's true, I'm coming back to myself more, but it's never gone my pain, my loss and my love for my brother is like a wound with a scar and you can touch it and it will bring such pain to my soul but it's also healing as I go, it becomes me just as I am."

In the blink of an eye it's morning again.

In the blink of an eye it's another story of life.

In the blink of an eye it's how I was born, I lived, I loved and then I died. 

.....and I am at peace with that.