When my husband's Grandma turned 80 years old, we all came together in a hotel in Salt Lake Utah for a family reunion in honor of her. She had 7 children, my mother-in-law Jo Anne was raised Mormon. So we instantly had a lot in common from a religious big family up bringing. On that weekend as Tony and I settled into our hotel room I handed him a room key saying "Here, you should have your own in case later on tonight you stay out late with your cousins." He looked at me in disbelief "Why in the hell would I do that?" I looked back at him in equal surprise explaining "Because you guys might want to sit in the bar of the hotel catching up all night long." He burst out laughing "This isn't YOUR family, I am not close to any of my cousins like that." I had to stop and think of how lucky I am to have so many good friends among my own cousins. It left me in pure awe!
While we were growing up we played together, we stayed in touch as much as possible and we loved everyone in our big family that in any crisis or trauma we came running to each other's side.
I am in awe of how truly blessed, how truly important my cousins have always been in my life!
For when our parents came together in huge yelling arguments, in holding grudges and disagreements in always judging each other we kids would slip away from the dramas and just be happy together just as we are!
We were just the little kids, who believed that;
You can be gay, you can have many sexual partners, you can be poor or rich, you can get married or never get married, you can have lots of kids or no kids at all.
You can vote however you feel, you can pray as much as you want. You can cuss as much as you want. You can tell a long winded story, You can tell a quick joke. You can take lots of pictures or just keep giving out many many hugs. You can be as real or as fake as you want to be. FOR we are family, we are the cousins who changed the setup through the years so that unconditional love wins out over everything else!
We are the cousins who grew up among the crazy crowded family tree!
We know that there are other branches growing out there that we have never met.
We understand that even our superheroes in our childhood made mistakes, they were not so perfect the more we learned about them.
Yet we are the new leaders in the definition of what it means to have a good family from all the history behind us.
I have found myself as an adult standing beside one of my cousins with one of our aunts or uncles speaking down to them and I step in saying nicely and clearly "Don't be disrespectful, we are equals now." Of course this often brings a look of pure shock or surprise because the once only adults now share that spot of authority with their own kids, with us the cousins.
I understand how hard it is to remember we all grow up in the end, but it's my passion to bring about the best behavior towards each other with my deep love for my family!
I often check myself saying "My baby brothers." as I did for years now they are young men. I can't keep thinking that they are babies, that will not be nice for them.
I truly want to be respectful towards them as equals, to be a good friend and never abandon them in any situation.
Having my cousins in my life taught me the power of unconditional love. When I was disowned by my parents, and my Grandma Eva didn't like me at all, it was my cousins who came to my rescuing support and we were able to discuss those family issues for clarity and for love! How honored I am to have them in my life!
As I am growing older now I think that maybe every family wants to be close, loving and kind, but it's within the kids who can actually create it from the start with out all that emotional baggage yet from the past. For each new generation can tell a better story about their lives and their families.
Like a fresh start, we kids would escape into the woods, we would find honey suckle, and wild flowers while simply loving to just be with each other! In nature, in play, in new adventures we were a group of kids walking side by side in real delight of grateful peacefulness!
My husband said to me once "It captivates me just how much you love your cousins." I replied "They were my very first friends in this world, I couldn't imagine my life without them!"
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