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Sunday, April 12, 2015

Changing Times

This has been a busy week for me that I have to step back and actually taste the coffee......How wonderful is the future? For I am living IN the future already as I take my Mom out to lunch, garden my backyard, clean out the garage, take my neighbor shopping, get the dogs groomed and the cats fed their wet canned much needed nutrition....My life is in full force of activities and I am not complaining, I'm just reflective over the last 2 days of deep cleaning my husband's Mother's home. It surprised me greatly when they decided to sell and move from their huge home on the golf course, a home they had built as their retirement plan but it takes strong focus and constant gas to get out of the neighborhood just to find a grocery store even then it's very crazy to drive slowly getting onto Eagle road so when they are 80 years old I would be terrified of such a place. Changing times like this make me so happy because it really does get better in the future! Every home we live in plays a role into our life style and our income. 
As I cleaned the empty place I happily said goodbye to those old memories in these walls, even my dog Oscar never liked that huge space because we were not use to such high ceilings, whenever we headed home my husband Tony would laugh "Poor Oscar, you could tell he didn't like all that noise it echos off the walls and he kept looking down the hall like he was so scared." I giggled at the time of such change. 
Everyone has a different life story, Everyone has a different view on what it means to be successful or happy, my mother-in-law Jo Anne loved her new huge home for the perfect time in her life. A time she shared with friends and family because she had the actual space for as many as she would like over. I will always miss her patio home days when 6 people sat around the table peacefully and we felt like a real family back then, this huge home was much colder and hard to socialize in a personal way for me so as I wiped it down I wondered "Will we ever go back to being a family again once they move out?" Or maybe we are all older and wiser now with no time to pretend? It either will be good to start new family traditions or it will constantly be changing? Therefore I have to let it be, not what I WISH it was or what it had been but instead I need to let it be as it really is......My idea of family is defiantly different then from my husband and yet he likes that I am so dedicated to my idea even after all these grows, changes and dies off so quickly that any connection or memory of it become my most favorite part of life!  These are the parents and the people whom teach us what is important in life as we grow up and I am overwhelming grateful for even the hard distant times we go through with these people.
My father taught me even though it's not my "job" if something needs fixed then go fix it don't wait for help or for someone else to do it for you.
My mother taught me even though you do everything right or perfect it can all change so cherish each breath of life.
My father-in-law taught me that to joke around and laugh keeps you young.
and his wife taught me that being apart of a "Sisterhood" runs deeper then blood.
My mother-in-law taught me that to know yourself is very important no matter what, because it's easy to get distracted by other people's judgement if you aren't sure yet.
and her husband taught me it's best to stay out of the way of any family drama and simply enjoy a nice cigar.
Everyone has had or have parents with some kind of wisdom or tips they share from their own life stories, it can't be made so easy that to pick just one thing but I like everything about all the family in my life and I have learned sooooo much with adding more parents to my life after I got married. I like how different everyone is, the world is by far much bigger for me in seeing all these lives come and go. The truth is that maybe people chose to live in the same house for 50 years or maybe they chose to move around every 5, but it's not the home that makes the person who they are it is how their guest feel when they come calling. I feel grateful to say good bye to such a huge home, because that is how I felt in that place simply lost from one bathroom to the next looking for where all the people went....

My husband asked in alarm "Why are you crying?" as I drove us home to our cozy condo. I sighed wiping my wet cheeks realizing I couldn't hold them back anymore"Because now we'll never see them again, I know they are all so excited about their new mansion but I realize now just how they will be working full time, ALL the time in order to keep up on it, so we'll never meet up with them again not just for a drink because they won't have much time anymore. The fact is that I am sad over how times are really changing and we are clearly all growing apart.....maybe we were never that close to begin with but for me it was better back in their smaller home." My husband chuckled shaking "I'll never understand why you like "family time" so much, you are so cute and caring. But I think it's healthy to move on and keep changing with the times, they get to live the life they want and when I am their age I'll be doing the same, maybe not living in such a big space but maybe I'll be living in whole other country ya never know what motivates people in their middle life crisis and don't ya say it all the time? "Nothing last forever." so don't cry over the past thinking it's better then future when you have no idea how it all turn out in the end." I nodded back reflectively explaining "I just wish we could keep all the people we love within arms reach and fill our days with socializing memories of simply being together more." My hubby nodded saying back thoughtfully as I wiped my eyes "It's not the home, it's not the house that creates those things it's who you choose to have a relationship with."

I drove off with the golf course in my rear view mirror proud of leaving such a cleaned new home for the new buyer and knowing it all had something to teach me as I went, something I might not quite get right now but I am so happy to see it move on and to remember this year of the Brave and the New stories ahead!


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